Missing isaac

Things has turned sour.
I chose to run out and just go after being pushed away.
I can't stand it anymore.
But i know i cannot just let things be this way.
My heart tells me to come back home.
But my pride won't let me move.
I'm stuck in no man's land, sitting on the fence and i don't know why...
The things said and done made me this way i feel now.
I don't hate you. But i can't stand you either.
Maybe one day things will be better between us...
Maybe - just maybe - you will stop saying horrid things to me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To those who know what is happening to me now, you should know who that refers to.
To the others who don't, i guess you just have to keep wondering.
So anyway, Ling's was quite fun, as always with me and her.
Handsome is so crazy he can't stop barking at first, then finally he settled down. Phew!
Got scared out of my wits at first.
Currently, i'm missing my brother isaac, the cute one in my life - besides my bf. lol
I guess i will have to see him on wednesday. Lets see how it goes ;)

I'm away, so near yet so far.
I choose it this way because i want to get away from the hurt for the time being.
Things will go back to the way it used to be if GOD approves, so far, i still am not sure.
For now, missing isaac badly...


I want to thank my sisters and of course, my beloved bf for standing by for me.
You guys are wonderfully great!
Love you all.

QUIZ

Tagged By Tay Mei Ling to do this shit. (:

Rules & Regulations of this quiz is :
a) people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
b) tag 6 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.


Q : who do you prefer? boyfriend or guyfriends?
A : ONE BOYFRIEND. I'm committed now (:

Q : What is your greatest wish?
A : To lead a peaceful and sufficient life.

Q : What would your first reaction be, when you see someone you love/like, being happy with some other guy/girl ?
A : For me, I learned that it's always hard to let go but you know that you have to. Time heals it all anyway and when the time is right, you will get someone else better! =)

Q : What will you be in 8 years time?
A : Marketing Manager-cum-Web designer, married to Shenath Dias with One child:)
Well, you only ask for 8 years what ;)

Q : Would you change yourself for the person you love?
A : I will change what i can but if i know i can't, im sorry so he will have to accept me for what i am.

Q : How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
A : I learned that one shouldn't wait. One should always be on the move lest one misses the best one that one can really love.

Q : If the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do?
A : Then too bad for him. Anyway, i ain't the type to touch guys who are already attached so no problem for me.

Q : Is there anything that made you unhappy these days?
A : These days, no. Past week, yes. Twas when shenath and i were having lots of problems.

Q : Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you're around the guy/girl you like/love?
A : Haha, yes. Esp when it's at the crush stage or when i havent spoken to the guy. Hate that stage usually. I don't like swirling emotions! lol

Q : Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
A : Yes, esp if i'm worried sick!

Q : Who are currently important people to you?
A : Shenath. Family. Girlfriends. Friends

Q : Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't?
A : If i really really need AND want someone, i know i can get them.

Q : What's the ideal perfect relationship to you?
A : Love&Stability.

Q : Are you happy with your life?
A : Yes. But there are things that i know still need time to ripen up :( But I'm sure that what ever will be, will really be. (So bf, pls be patient. Love you!)

Q : Would you give all in a relationship?
A : I will give my all to my marriage. I will only give what my partner deserves if we are not yet married.

Q : If you fall in love with 2 persons simultaneously, who would you pick? the lousiest one? OR the better one?
A : WTF. The better one for me lah! DUH!
Anyway, i learned that whoever is the best to the eyes of the world, may not be the best for you.
Vice versa, whoever is the worst alive to the eyes of the world, may be the best fit for you.

Q : What type of friends do you like?
A : Who are not judgemental, are tolerant, fun on their own way and trustworthy.

Q : Do you often wish there was something you could change?
A : I don't know. After much thought, i don't think it's wise to change anything!

Q : What type of guy do you look for?
Only my heart knows, i don't.

I WILL NOT TAG ANOTHER IDIOT TO DO THIS QUIZ.
SO THIS QUIZ ENDS HERE!!!

Delayed Update

Friday(20th June) was damn shit fun!
Of course, with yours truly all hyped up with the proper planning.
With Shenath dearest to have the place all settled and take care of ((:
And all the sisters were present to celebrate the day the YOUNGEST sister turn LEGAL(:
With her came Safwan, her prince for the night.
Ling came with her one-night-boyfriend-cum-bestfriend, Rhoma, where else hidayah and nurul just came on their own.

The night went long for the rest but Shenath's and I were cut short cos he got worser):
The liquor didn't help him get better as most of us thought. Haha, yea i know it's crazy.
So after going crazy for half the night, his fever took his toll on him :(
So then he is still sick and getting better only lately.

A lot of crazy shit has happened and of course, some that aren't so crazy as well.
All the way since last friday, i devoted myself to taking care of my baby boy, shenath. lol
I really can't see him sick that way, he was seldom sick and i was the only one he's got to take care of him and pamper him the best way i could.
Great that aunt Sarah came last Sunday as well!
We had quite a good bonding coming along. And it was fun.
Such a pity that she'll be leaving soon.

Well, Tuesday night this week, i was in the shower when Nurul gave me a call.
She was half sobbing and her voice carry that of urgency.
And then the worst thing that we all feared to happen...
One of our closest friend in our THEN social circle met with an accident.
At first, we - the sisters, me, jar, nurul & lyn - were reluctant to believe the tragic incident.
But then again, it has happened.
Rain(Ryan Pereira) has landed himself in SICU at TTSH.
His condition is worst than that of what we thought.
But he is going to be okay so no need to fret so much.
Well, i just hope that he learn his lesson after this tragic incident.

Read up at this site>>>>>>>[TNP]

Anyway, went to the hospital yesterday and i saw ryan at icu.
Everyone in our THEN social circle has already seen him, except me, lyn, nurul and jar.
Lyn and Nurul had planned to go together.
Supposed to meet Jar but eventually, she went there with Safwan, so i went alone.
So when i got there, only daryl and his fiancee, sri, were at the icu ward with ryan.
Jar broke down - as usual with her emotional ways - because of her past relationship with him and also the entire situation.

So anyway, lets just hope he gets well soon.
I hope Yana takes care of ryan well....

As for my darling baby Shenath, i will be his nurse.
Always....

)))(((((

EXCITED!!

Jar's 18th Birthday is coming and everything going crazy.
The entire planning and choosing of things are done by yours truly, and of course with help from quite a few of my hearties! ((:

Tuesday after school, shenath and i headed to kovan.
liqour shop was closed.
we thought the shop was relocated or something, because i didn't recall the place to be on the 5th floor.
So anw, on wednesday, i went there myself and got hajar her drinks ((:
Wed morning bf went off to work.
I sent him to work, never really did that for him before, well at least not in the morning.
So the moment i got up, i got ready and met him.
After sending him off, i went to kovan.
after getting them liqours, i headed to somerset to begawan solo for jar's cake ((:
got a good deal. i'm good! hehe
then hid came to meet me, she was damn late but i didn't really mind, i kinda like doing things proper alone.
it's a habit i love doing, if bf is not free or something.
i think i kinda prefer doing things on my own. i don't get distracted.

so okay, back to the day on wed.
hid and i planned the whole day.
bf got the venue settled - phew!
then ling text saying she can do for me free mani&pedi.
so cool!
pictures right up aights!










Today, didn't go to school.
was present for dance - but i just watched.
anw, i guess i got to go.
dance lesson over!
ciaoz!

:)

As from my previous post, there were a lot that happened.
So therefore, bear with me ((:

So anyway, my name has been cleared from the black list.
phew... and yes i saw her, my second last day working there.
then came the last day of work, but luckily the devil isn't there.
anyway, total sale i made for the three days of work was approximately $6k.
not bad really. but could have done better if not for my second day to be so whacked!

doesn't matter, it's done.
on friday, news came that my oldest uncle has passed on.
he was not exactly close to me but i have vague memories about him.
but with his death come quite a few troubles - he didn't leave a will.
he was very rich and grand aunt wants it all.
she ain't going to go without a fight, and knowing that she won't have power to take in all his assets because she's not his mother, would mean that trouble will rise in the family.
my grandmother is his mother.
so in all, grandmum has all the power to get everything.
but like i said, grand aunt wont go without a fight - trouble!

we were in mourning for the few weekends.

so on saturday and sunday, i didn't work.

saturday i went to meet nurul in the evening.
went to the beach to have some alone time.
we talked about our present love lives and bitch about our boyfriends.
she was on a 'pause' with hafiz and i was having some itch with bf.
of which the whole situation with shenath blew up on saturday night.

met him on sunday.
was not in the mood the whole day.
didn't even bother to eat cos my stomach bud won't take food in.
we were suppose to be alright on sunday due to the talk we had on saturday.
just that, i guess i needed more time.
so after the whole day on sunday,
(had 3in1 at haig road, went to venture to red light districts just to check things out),
we had another blow out over the phone.
then came the working out phase,
talked about everything and why is it that it's had made things so horrible between us.
then we made up.

then something that he did made me so bothered that i had to question him about it.
so then we had another thing on our hand.
i apologized for it tho cos i guess there really is some guy ego that we girls must understand.

the next day, which is yesterday.
left the thought of going to school while making my way there.
we en route.
we made up for everything.
we formed some sort of weird understanding of everything.
and of course, it's obvious that working things out just don't happen, you must will it to happen!
we realized that we have to go after it, even just a bit, for better harmony.

we are okay now and i hope we dont have to quarrel about the same thing again.

i hope we learn from our mistakes.

i will try. i will learn. i will not run away.

-Notes-

i love you SHENATH THOMAS DIAS.
you are one special part of me that i will never live without.
you helped me pick up the pieces that got lost in time.
and you help fill me up better than anyone can.
i love you, with my all.
but i'm sorry it will take time for me to trust any guy again.
and so i thank you for being patient and for understanding :*

Oncoming celebration - JAR'S 18th Birthday!
So far, no comment on how the thing will go. Just that, i hope things go well :)
Can't wait to PARTEEE!!! :)

Work

Work _ Day 1

So i realize why Angie didn't get back to me about working at Takashimaya for this month's bazaar.
I was what you can say black-listed in working for it.
Reason? Well, the previous Bazaar, this was this bitch of a cashier (under taka).
My co. temp shop has its own cashier counter for customers' convenience.
Then so, in there is this cashier by the name of Ho Xin Yue (i can't be bother if it's the right spelling!), who likes to stare at me and give looks as hed to pick fight in front of MY customer.
That was the craziest shit that i couldn't handle from a mere employee herself.
So is that how Takashimaya supervisors teach their staff? I really doubt that.
Takashimaya, as i have known since last time, has good customer service. And i praise the shopping mall for that.

The worst thing about this that that bitch of a cashier apparently turned the whole story around and then complained me to her supervisor, when i was supposed to have done that initially.
The guts! Gosh, i know i should have not given her mercy.
I was too kind to even shut my pie hole and just let things be.
Then she have to do this to me.

Well, the blame don't really go to her.
Maybe I'm also to blame cos i think i didn't gave her enough attention before.
Maybe cos she was dying for me to talk to her but i don't.
Maybe she wanted to be my friend and i excluded her.
Maybe she's so in love with me, she just want to do whatever to get my attention.
Oh, I'm such a bitch, ain't i.
I should have just given her the TLC she wanted. Bad Jean!

Okay, i'm more pissed with the person who actually 'black listed' me.
Well, i don't know if the person is dumb or just pure bias.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN THINK WHY THE HELL DID HER STAFF COMPLAINED ME WHEN THE BAZAAR HAS ENDED, AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO HEAR MY SIDE OF THE STORY.(i mean like how could she? i ain't even there to fend for myself)

I want justice. I want justice. I want justice.

I mean c'mon, you can't just black list your shopping center's customer's staff just cos your own staff has A WHOLE TWO WEEK OF PMS.
I'm boiling inside out.
But i ain't going to let that happen.

I'm an adult and i will solve it like an adult.
Tomorrow i will be seeing that bitch, mean Xin Yue.
Mum is telling me she'll lodge a complain and she's get her rich amigas to do it too.
But, i told her, NO... I WILL NOT STOOP SO LOW -.-

So anyway, today....
Work was busy. Made like $2800 plus worth of sales today.
It was crazy, lots of customers and lots of fish to catch -.-
Well, lets see how my luck turns out tmr :D

Okay anw, i got to go ((:

Again.

Yesterday, i met Shenath darling for lunch at Cityhall.
And no i didn't go for training cos i had to see to my brother, baby sit.
Made him sleep first then i got to sleep.
When i woke up, mum and sis were already playing with Isaac.
Meanwhile, i was rushing to get out.
Shenath have to submit the form to school ASAP.
So since i couldn't go to school yesterday, we went at cityhall.
We had our usual thai fried rice. Only this time we only had it on its own cos we are both short of funds -.-

Supposed to meet the girls at Dhoby at 3pm.
Hid text that Jar is late so we were kinda behind time.
And at 3-315pm, Nurul was still otw to Pasir Ris MRT station -.-
This is the reason why i held the meet up time an hour and a half before the movie.
Initially, Jar lost the mood in watching the movie, but i persevere in bugging her into it.
So.... Eventually, we watched SEX AND THE CITY.
Well i ain't a follower of its TV epis but this movie sure made me sum up the entire plot of the sitcom.
It is very very entertaining =)
What with all those tacky but high class ways of those ladies in their prime ages, still living their life to the best they could.
It's all very encouraging and it makes you want to be strong to be like them.
Which of course, one can never be cos they are just characters =)

So moving away from the movie characters, i would like to bring you closer to the girls who are important to my life.
There are four of them.
We have this love-hate relationship going on about in our click.
And it is obvious to say that it is what sustains our friendship.
As the day proceeded i wondered if we'll grow old still being friends or will the years of friendship be wasted away into nothing.
Then again, we'll never know. And so we'll find out.
I ain't easy to be friends with me and i know my girls know this and i commend them for being bitch enough to handle me.
I salute that. And all i can say is this "You guys are irreplaceable"


Okay so to continue, away from the sappy boring commendation words...
Met Lyn at Far East. She didn't watch the movie with us.
She got a cap customized and we went along with her to claim it back.
Which eventually got us going round and round the mall.
Then i took over with the leading to the place - still lost.
So called the shop, asked the store address and poof! We got it.

TO LYN: Next time, remember to make a map wherever you head to. LOL

Had dinner at Cahaya Restaurant -.0
It reminded me of the last time i ate there. My friends' friend had a roach in his soup. UGH
But luckily this time that didn't occur again. Phew.....
Then made a call - which totally ruined my day, my whole night and my whole morning today.
After that, all of us headed off our separate ways to home.
For me, it was my second home to go to so went with Lyn on NSL.
So chatted with Lynn and pour part of my emotions to her.
And yes, the other most parts went to Shenath.
He comforted me in ways that only i knew how good it felt.

When i left the girls, i thought i don't have anyone else to understand how it feels like to be in the situation of constant fights with mum.
Then i realize why Lyn and i have been friends for 9 years and still running.
Cos she knew how it feels like....
To be growing up with others instead of the ones who give u birth.
And no matter the situation, she didn't shoot down my feelings and opinions on the matter.
Then again, that's why i love the other sisters too.
Because they love me that much to shoot it down.
And that's why the four of them are the bitches of my life and that's why the 3rd paragraph of this entry is worthy of them.

Moving on.
Sitting down at the dark basketball court, Shenath and i talked about everything.
About my itch with mum and with it comes our plans for the future.
Engagement, living together, sharing of lives, promises, trust, etc.
We talked about everything with seriousness and it made me want to cry buckets (or gallons)
I need not say here our plans for the future, but it is what we'll work on.
One thing i have to work on is my cowardice behavior of always wanting to just leave and walk away even at the most stupid fights or quarrels.
And also, my trusting issues.

Today i went to church and talked to GOD.
And told him that i want to trust my man, with my heart.
I want to trust my man without having to be negative at all the aspect that i can think of.
And i thanked GOD for what i have - For my parents, my love, and my friends.
Today as i walked out of church, I'll live a old new me - POSITIVE.
I realized that i have wallowed myself in negativity and that's why i have trusting issues.
And so i'll tackle this first, slow but steadily - FIGHT NEGATIVITY.
GO JEAN! Haha

Okay, pictures of yesterday right up!













Top random picture -----

And greatest thanks to ---
1. FIT
2. IRWAN (hope didn't get the name wrong)

Complaints/just my day

Last night, i went to meet Shenath after his work at 9pm.
Went to Mustafa Centre to purchase a necessity, and had Indian (FOOD).
We had Chapati, a rectangular-saucer of Kheema, tandoori (or is it bbq) chicken, accompanied by the usual teh tarik! (=

It was crazy yesterday going Mustafa, i mean he had to get a fan.
It is so UN-GLAM for us to even be carrying a fan despite it being in a box(duh).
That was the first horrendous thought i had when we met by the river at Clarke Quay.
His encouragement? "C'mon we'll do something crazy for once"

Well initially, the plan was to get one from the central near his place, but it would already be close at the time we even board the train!
So the best place? 24hr shopping centre! (not to forget the things there are considerably CHEAP!)
While there, i had the most GROSS!!!!! HORRENDOUS!!!!! DISGUSTING!!!! UBER DISGUSTING!!! *barfs barfs barfs* TOILET EXPERIENCE.
This is just crazy!!!!
My workplace's toilet is 10 times better, despite my detested view about it! *barfs again*

LET ME SHARE WITH YOU. Lol i'm evil.......
OKAY! READY???

i changed my mind. i ain't going to talk about it.
i'm going to throw up if i have to re-think about it.
all i can say is, my farts smells 100 times better. LOL

I rushed out after the relief (thank god they have the squatting ones) UGH
and my bf knew that it's horrible from the look on my face.
and so did the ang mohs, they said, "THE THIRD FLOOR'S MUCH BETTER"
I was like, "I WISH I'D KNOWN EARLIER!!"


>>>>>> OKAY ENOGUH OF THIS....>>>>>>>

In the afternoon, thought me and bf will have another row but i guess it didn't really happen.
>>phew....
Sent him off to work after that and then headed home.
I have nothing on today.
I ditched the plans with Lyn and Nurul.
Dears, sorry will see you guys on Monday (:
hugs.

Now, to those LOVE diabetics, please refrain from reading.
.
.
.
.
.

<<<<<>>>>>>

My heart and my devotion goes to you,
Nothing can replace the love you've given me;
All i have to say my boo,
We are one, we are meant to be.

I'll hold onto you as tight as ever,
I'll give you the love you need;
Darling, I'll never say never,
Darling, adieu i'll never bid.

-Jean-

I love you.I want you.I need you.

Picture selection

It has hit me today.
Kinda missed my girls.... ):

I know we're going to be meeting this coming Monday, but hell, so what right?
When you miss 'em, you miss 'em.
To remedy the syndrome, i found myself looking through their Friendster accounts.
One by one.
I looked at all their pictures, of which some shows off our friendships.
From the featured listing to the pictures that are present in their Friendster album.
It shows only a few here and there but to me, it magnifies the relationships.

It shows me that no matter how much other people has entered our lives, there is still that one place reserved for each of everyone of us.
It has touched me and it will continue to keep me uplifted,
I still know that my sisters will be there, no matter how long or how far we might end up from each other.

When i logged into my Friendster account, i got a picture posted by Lyn.
It's about friends.
And it touched me further and made me go awww...

As i said earlier that i looked through all my girls' pictures, i saved my favorites of them -
Which i will obviously feature today (:
So anyway, i wont delay any longer. (Am waiting for the pictures to load!)

OKAY HERE IT GOES!
.
.
.
.
I was having having a hard time in picking my favorite of hidayah's.
I was frustrated in fact. LOL!
All her pictures are photoshop-ed!

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL HER THAT SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT THE EDITS?!!

I picked this because it shows how much she enjoys herself with her new friends.
And the smile on her face shows me a lot of things (:

*** oh and hidayah is the third lady from the left
This is my fave picture of hajar's.
I like this because of the prop in this picture - SEX ON THE BEACH drink
It was her first time drinking that and i was the first person she boasted of it about (:

Nurul... What can i say. All her pictures are mostly originals.
Opposite of Hidayah's. LOL
Same goes to her song tastes - SHE RATHER HAVE ORIGINAL TO REMIXES
This is my fave because it shows me the ring that i gave her.
Onyx - For protection (:
Lyn.
She only has one pic in her friendster account.
I dont necessarily have this as my fave, but i like this.
Why i like it is because it shows me how much she gives herself and every part of hers to Zam.
If they don't get married next time, i don't know what to say.

That's all folks!

Now some pictures of my fave i came across on.

**good old party pic**

**girls***motto?*

Myths/Inbox./Virgins

Today i checked my email box and i had a shock of my life reading the subject of a mail that i received.
It is from Vasugi, a Sec 4 classmate, who mailed it to me.
The heading was INCREDIBLE.

INCREDIBLE.
yes, that is the right word!

Subject: FW: 9MONTH OLD BABY RAPED BY 6 MEN.
This is what the email contained -
"Last week a 3 year old girl in South Africa wasbeaten and raped. She is still alive. The man responsible was released on bail yesterday.
He is walking the streets . If you are too busy to read this then just sign your name and forward this on.
This is a very important petition. It is an essential part of the justice system for children. You may have already heard that there'sa myth in South Africa that having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS . The younger the virgin, the more potent the cure. This has led to an epidemic of rapes by infected males, with the correspondent infection of innocent kids. Many have died in these cruel rapes.

Recently in Cape Town , a 9-month-old baby was raped by 6 men .

Please think about that for a moment. The child abuse situation is now reaching catastrophic proportions and if we don't do something, then who will?

Kindly add your name to the bottom of the list and please pass this on to as many people as you know."

Then i thought, this is bullshit! How can it be true....?
I checked it out on google.com
I found some sources that actually proved it.[Souce1][Source2]
Just that, it happened quite awhile back in the years.

And yes, it is all about the cure for AIDS.
As you all know, there is no known cure for AIDS yet, and there is a myth that goes on in Africa.
And mind you, in ASIA too, that when you have sex with a VIRGIN, you can be cured. [Source]

The mail i received was just a few of the emails that were circulated since the last few years.
There were other forms of emails going around in cyber world.

Those believers need to be educated, and it is not easy to do so in reality.
This horrifying belief has left a lot of women vulnerable even at such a young age.
And the worst is that, this didn't just happen in Africa or those AIDS infected countries!
I chanced upon this site... View [Source1][Source2]

You have to read it!
It is horrible.
From Source1 is might sound horrible enough, however, if you can read further on Source2, you can vouch how sick James Wamsley is or was (lets just say, he'll always be counted as sick!)

I mean HOW CAN U FREAKING RAPE A 9MONTH OLD BABY BOY!!!
And it happened just a year ago. US Memorial Day 26th May (Singapore time at 27th May).

So lets come back to the AFRICAN MYTH.
= Having sex with a VIRGIN cures AIDS?
Which idiot actually believes that?!!
It is morbid, horrible, disgusting, illogical, insane!
It reminded me of this Royalty who bathe in blood. [Source]

They are all virgin obsessed, all these myth believers.
Where did their logic or their brains end up to?!
Well, it is a crazy world out there.

I don't know how else to continue.
I don't even know how they can think this way.
It is horrible.
I am much disgusted at how even infants are rape victims.
What a sad sad world....

Well people, this is just something i'd like to share.
Sorry if it has disgusted you, but this is true. This things has and is still happening.
We cannot really do much besides feeling angst.
Okay people, got to go now (:

Touched

Today i spent the day with Shenath.
We were just slacking and coupling around...
the day was exhausting, not to mention warm!
the temperature nowadays is crazy...
left my house feeling all cold then heading to the north, it slowly got warmer.
Weather's going all bonkers right now. It's crazy!

Okay, anyway... Today, i was touched by a mail that Shenath got.
It was a ppt on the Sichuan disaster.

(Click to enlarge)

If you still cannot see, this is what is says....

"People are rushing to donate money. Many rich people donated in millions, but no one can match Xu Chao(徐超), 60, on the right. He is a homeless in Nanjing, 1000 miles from the disaster area. He saw the news and went to donate 5 Yuan in the morning. He said people in the disaster area were worse off than him because their lives were threatened. He came back in the afternoon, donated another 100 Yuan ($14). He explained that all he had were pennies and dimes, and he didn’t want to waste volunteer workers’ time to count them, so he went to the bank to change everything he had into one big bill. This is from a man who doesn’t have money to buy food for himself."

What are you feeling now???

I saved this especially to share with you all at how people can be very helpful, despite their own situation.
Also, it also seems to magnify the deed a thousand fold when a poor person, helps the poor.
I am so touched by this man's deed even though all he could donate was just a small amount.
I am very ashame of myself at how i couldn't donate at least more than he had donated.
even if it wasn't just about some tragedy, i guess i will have to take the step to helping out more...

Ven/Frustrated/Fengshui

DISAPPOINTED.

That's all i can say. My laptop's audio system is making my songs to 'stutter'.
How can you listen to stuttering songs?
Worst, it sounds like a spoiled CD.
It wasn't originally like that, it plays well on my Sony Ericson phone, so why does it sound like that on my laptop.

The answer ? HARDWARE PROBLEM.
It sucks at how Acer's newer laptop models have weak hardwares.
I think i need to replace this not-even-3-month-old laptop.
Aspire 5580 series so totally did better with me.
It had better hardware and it was really great.
I shouldn't have replaced it -.-
But i cannot wallow in regrets. I need to fix this.
SOON !

Okay, that paragraphs above has made me feel much better.
Had to vent out my frustrations onto something.
Writing helped. But that only will help to a small extent, i need to start finding my warranty card!

*cross fingers* that i can find it -.-

Well ever since yesterday, i have kick-started my brand new lifestyle.
I don't know if it's going to be a new lifestyle, but i'm starting small.
After reading some feng shui book that tell its readers that a clutter-free surrounding will equate a clutter free life.
Which will equate a clutter free mind, which in turn improves emotional state and eventually it comes down to good night sleep, i just had to try it.

No harm done trying.
At first all i did was to keep my bed specially clutter-free and i covered my dressing mirror with my collections of scarfs.
Then it kinda help me in sleeping more than i usually do.
It feels great.
But getting long sleep is not just what i want, i need energy boosting rests/sleep.
So therefore, i embarked myself to this new ways.
I don't know if it'll be for long, but i'm starting slow and steady.

:) i guess you can say im going to be a feng shui fanatic...
let's see how it goes. i can feel myself lighter after all these cleaning ups i did today.
Yesterday, i starting with my bathroom, today, i did my room's cupboards, shelves, dressing table, and other obvious clutter.
Next will be my wardrobe, which has piles and piles of clothes, that has been waiting for a month or two! LOL

Yea i know that's disgusting. sorry!
Anyway, i gotta go. It's getting late.
I have to wake early to see Shenath tmr ---- He's back from camp!
Toodles!

:D

*crossing fingers* for the pictures to load...

my laptop, which is not even three months old, is giving me hardware irritation -.-
I don't know if i should change the wireless card or should i just wait for it to really breakdown.
I still have the warranty anyway, but (problem is where it went) !

School's out since last TGIF!
it isn't really that wonderful considering that i have less fund to spend this holiday.
it really sucks to be semi supporting yourself, what the hell will happen if i have to claim independence? I think I'll be begging in the streets!
Thing is, I need to wait for my pay to come in by the 15th.
which i'm already anticipating will get delayed - YET AGAIN!
Anyway, at least i have something to fill up my weeks ahead.
One of which is Dance trainings - it really is very nerve wrecking but motivating at the same time.
Then follows my hopes of catching up with my studies. *crosses fingers* that it will come true.
Also, i am going to kick start my engine for PP.
I have been procrastinating far too long.
Next thing i know, i will be rushing through it for submission this august 1.
It really sucks. I cannot get a horrible grade in this project. So wish me luck my dearies....

Shenath's in training camp, where he'll be gone for three days.
Saw him today after my training though...

I realize that we have been really trying hard to keep our relationship high above time constraint.
It is never easy to fight time constraint.
He'll be very busy at work to earn some bucks for himself and most of time, for me too.
My money comes delayed or i have too many bills to pay.
It really sucks also that money is so hard to come by nowadays.
I mean like without money, everything seems to stop!
Like we are stuck in a rut that no one else can help us besides ourselves.
With Shenath, i guess it is clear that we have to help each other out.
As with all other relationships, we are mutually functioned to help each other out, to the best we can. Thank you darling, i love you.

Anyway, i hope i get the booking for the taka bazaar job.
Hope manager don't drop me -.- i shouldn't have declined in the first place! damn it!

Had 3in1 with nurul last tuesday.
it was fantastic as always! three cheers to the fact that the vendor still remembers us!
another three cheers that those oldies who hang around there still remembers us too!
being remembered by unexpected people is a very nice feeling -.- think so?

and this is where to look for 3in1
haig road hawker - beside the wet market.

my all time 3in1 buddy (of course jar too)

wednesday - shen's match with the police academy boys.
grace really do know how to bitch in place -.-

heading back to 'heaven' - while camwhoring :D

thursday - dance fest' momentum dance showcase :D

izzi my concert buddy and also in dance with me.

the ticket that seats us the very first row!
kudos to Ashley who got us sucha good seat

and to the people who always (and never fail to populate my mailbox)
i selected this pictures you guys forwarded that made me crack up.
kudos! these are the best pictures that got me laughing.

okay, before my darling love starts lecturing me for sleeping late, ima head off now, it's almost midnight!
Good Nights!