hello!

im working...
supposedly, im to attend to guest and get their food orders and whatsoever their needs be.
im pretty much doing the literal part of my job position.
well, im a WAIT-ress or a WAIT staff.
and so, that's what im really doing... IM WAITING. lol
im at the Tree Cafe in Xplorerkids in Ehub! now.
so bored really...
and thank GOD Fred came to my rescue and lend me his friend's laptop! phew.

nothing much happening really.
tomorrow im working at flower boutique - doing freelance for Amy.
well, i find that she's a good person, and great thing that whenever she needs more help in the shop she calls on my aid first. well, cos i need money also right, so thank GOD she at least hire me first :)
then finally, shenath and i will have some nice spending time together -- i hope it wouldnt be messed up.
sucks when preplanned days really don't happen as what we hope for.
but so far, UNDERWORLD 2 at THE CATHAY. Been long since we watched a movie really.

currently me loving Halo by Beyonce -- Click Here To Listen
i got to go for now i guess. going to clock out at 4pm :) updates soon! hopefully with pictures.

here's to updates!

I'm currently sitting at Teasire (cafe i work at at Ehub!) and im browsing facebook for some pictures that i might have missed seeing or which are worth it to be posted in this blog.So far of the late, i haven't been able to upload any pictures due to the inavailability of wireless connection at home.
tried getting access through an open connection, eventually my laptop almost crashed on me, so i had to make sure that i quarantine it.
well, my laptop is due to see the doctor and get confined in the 'hospital' due to the hardware AND software problems.
thank GOD dear lappy managed to hang on till the end of the two semesters.
sooo soon but indefinite, i will be sending it to Acer... which mean i have to make a painstaking journey to JURONG EAST :(

Before i forget; BELATED HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY :)
Well, Shenath and i didn't make any major plan to celebrate the day, which honestly, i wasn't actually expecting anything because both of us were freaking dry in the finance dept of the late! it's soo vexing when i am hoping to commit working 'full time', but still i havent manage to land on any job :( *sobs*
Call me picky but i think weekend jobs in FNB is enough for me.
i was looking into admin assistant, retail staff or even shop assistant for the weekdays but nada! NONE! :(

and not to mention, i think Szeling is cutting me off the job offer Angie gave me due to the last event i assisted in. it was a disaster because i have school! well i do admit i shouldn't have made commitments with Patterns knowing that i have school still, but i needed the money. Then again, if she really do not want me anymore, i can't bloody hell beg her right.
Sigh. but anyway, it's okay, i guess i have nothing to hope for from the company anymore.
but i did work for them good naturedly and despite it all, never once had i actually blantantly thought bad of her like the rest of her staff.
So anyway, tomorrow i hope i will at least get hired in a retail shop in THE CENTRAL.
I submitted my resume and they have arranged for an interview, so i guess i was shortlisted. They are the only company that got back to my emailing of resume. Well, i guess despite actually not liking sales, i have to learn to excel in something i'm good at.
Well, im good in sales but i hate selling! haha. i guess i have more to learn about acceptance. *smiles*

so anyway, reverting back to VDAY.
well, shenath did the sweetest thing --- well he bought us wine and we drank the night away. and eventually leading to the best times of our lives, as always anyway... :)
only that times were the well deserved ones.
due to the days and weeks of fighting and misunderstanding, i guess we have come to the end of that phase. so start another set of phase of which we can only guess what the next BIG fight will be about. but despite it all, i really do love him.
and yes, we are very much into each other. although we drive ourselves crazy often, than not, it still comes down to whether we still want to spend our lives growing old together.
it's not going to be easy but will enough equipments to armour our love, we can win the battle on the way to our destination :)

earlier in the day, i cooked for the family!
mum finally said that my cooking skills has improved!! that i can get marry and feed children already. LOL haha
but she said i still need to practice to stabilize my skill :) yeye :D
well i have to go now, i have to restart my lappy to configure itunes8 properly.
have to transfer movies to fred's ipod. well till next time i get the chance to get wireless then! i hope to upload pictures soon.

HUGS AND KISSES!

With every trial, there's hope. With every hope.... well

i've been meaning to write in to at least feel at ease.
because i always feel appeased after writing down what worries me, i make it a habit to, however, not much of the late.
the past few days or may i say weeks since the new year has kicked in, there were constant dark clouds looming before my happy relationship.
there are a lot of things that we procastinated to work out and there are things that i was not willing to compromise on, and therefore it created such a messy understanding between the both of us.

no one has a perfect friendship, relationship and marriage.
it is perfect to the way both partners see fit.
"Relationship is about compromise. You have to come to term with something" Mami said.
"You love him, so don't just let go now. He just loves you a lot." Nurul said.
"If you find another guy who don't give you fights, tell me and i'll marry him" Shenath said.
so gay right?? hahaha

Shenath and i, are actually just a normal couple who go through shit.
We (mostly me) have thought of ending the special bond that we are currently still sharing, after a huge mess, but despite whatever, we pulled through.
I admit, i never was a strong player in love and relationship.
I love solitude and being just in love, so i will run at a mere sight of dark clouds.
Shenath on the other hand, he's strong. He holds out for the both of us. And so i hope to learn this from him.

Of course, i am not very negative, nor is he too perfect.
We both have our strengths and weakness as an individual.
However, i realised that we need to always assess ourselves, what we want and if we are both still willing to try.
There are things he said that i cant get over, and there are things about me that i know he cant stand. But overall, what matters is if we are still willing to try again, and compromise on something both will come to terms with.

But honestly, as the length of the relationship progresses, the more obstacle there will be.
And the more obstacles dealt with, mostly every fall gets harder to pull through from.
So far, we are still very much in love, but we have a lot more to go.

To all of you reading this and are in relationship problems, i can't tell you what to do in your relationships.
If you ask me how to deal with this probs that probs, i have learnt this so far -

Only YOU and HIM or YOU and HER will know what to do.
No one else can decide for you. And you shouldn't pull in people to decide for you. You can ask for people's opinion but not their decision.
Others can tell you how they solved their problems, but in the end, it all comes down to you and your other halfs.
Mostly, i learnt from Shenath is to have our relationship's problems settled and talked through with just me and him.
And yes, i ask for my closer friends' opinions.
Despite naturally being more incline to my well being, i thank them for letting me think straight and proper...

And darling, i love you.
despite it all, you'll always try to put you first. hugs

discouragement teaches all

Sometimes, life don't only consist of the positive aspect of life but also with negative aspect.
In regards to the many things that has been happening to yours truly lately, i guess i have so far learned that no matter how horrid things can get, eventually it all comes down to us to create a better view on what's happening in our lives.
Many times we never fail to wallow in self-pity and even before we put up our defences, we have already allowed these negativity to shoot us down.
Therefore, once in awhile we should always take a deep breathe and realise if the negative happening could be handled better than how we initially handled it.
Sure we could complain out loud and whine for a bit, but eventually, we are the only ones who really know if we can get over the problem.
Definitely, handling of problems are all case by case. Therefore, we cannot really apply the same way of solving one problem with the way we solve another.

Okay so of course i have some bad news that happened but i realised that i should be glad that at least i got to taste a moment of giving my best shot.
From last time, flowers fascinated me and even though my thoughts pertaning flowers changed due time, my fascination never really left me.
I always wanted to know how it felt like to work in a flower shop, and so i had.
For the two day trial that i went for and gave one of my best shot actually...
But i guess boss really have to think long term, i understand, cos she told me that she would prefer for at least 6months.
She gave me a try still, so i thought maybe yeah i can get it.
Usually, i get the job i want to do, always was and always did, until today.
I was confident i was going to do good, but not confident enough to actually clinch the job due to the duration she was asking for, so i guess i was already somehow prepared for the 'rejection' to happen.
However, the two-day work trial i underwent taught me that one should always give their best shot and be initiative enough to willingly help out.
When i went to work at Teasire today, i was already half expecting that i wont get the job fully, so i put what i 'learned' to good use.
I initiated cleaning up and doing restaurant chores and actually put my good standards to play despite the usually empty turn out of crowds on Sunday.

I guess i won over my 'sadness' when i was doing my best at some other things that i didn't actually like. and for some lucky moment, i got ang bao from boss! haha $20. not bad eh :)
So anyway, Weiling told me to think of a catch phrase for Teasire... wrote a lot of bull crap but eventually they liked...

Teasire - We're not just teas!

(well we arent. and people need to know that we have good food too!)

I spoke to my manager about the work issue too, and she actually told me that she might be able to let me work on weekdays since im free! :) and since i turned out to be her most loyal part-timer.... haha ;)

actually i like working at teasire, i just don't like having to stand outside like an idiot to promote the menu. if only they can change the entrance! it would be better... i really wont mind being the host if the entrance is near where i promote the menu.

so anyway, i have to go for now.

i need to sleep!!

good night.