With every trial, there's hope. With every hope.... well

i've been meaning to write in to at least feel at ease.
because i always feel appeased after writing down what worries me, i make it a habit to, however, not much of the late.
the past few days or may i say weeks since the new year has kicked in, there were constant dark clouds looming before my happy relationship.
there are a lot of things that we procastinated to work out and there are things that i was not willing to compromise on, and therefore it created such a messy understanding between the both of us.

no one has a perfect friendship, relationship and marriage.
it is perfect to the way both partners see fit.
"Relationship is about compromise. You have to come to term with something" Mami said.
"You love him, so don't just let go now. He just loves you a lot." Nurul said.
"If you find another guy who don't give you fights, tell me and i'll marry him" Shenath said.
so gay right?? hahaha

Shenath and i, are actually just a normal couple who go through shit.
We (mostly me) have thought of ending the special bond that we are currently still sharing, after a huge mess, but despite whatever, we pulled through.
I admit, i never was a strong player in love and relationship.
I love solitude and being just in love, so i will run at a mere sight of dark clouds.
Shenath on the other hand, he's strong. He holds out for the both of us. And so i hope to learn this from him.

Of course, i am not very negative, nor is he too perfect.
We both have our strengths and weakness as an individual.
However, i realised that we need to always assess ourselves, what we want and if we are both still willing to try.
There are things he said that i cant get over, and there are things about me that i know he cant stand. But overall, what matters is if we are still willing to try again, and compromise on something both will come to terms with.

But honestly, as the length of the relationship progresses, the more obstacle there will be.
And the more obstacles dealt with, mostly every fall gets harder to pull through from.
So far, we are still very much in love, but we have a lot more to go.

To all of you reading this and are in relationship problems, i can't tell you what to do in your relationships.
If you ask me how to deal with this probs that probs, i have learnt this so far -

Only YOU and HIM or YOU and HER will know what to do.
No one else can decide for you. And you shouldn't pull in people to decide for you. You can ask for people's opinion but not their decision.
Others can tell you how they solved their problems, but in the end, it all comes down to you and your other halfs.
Mostly, i learnt from Shenath is to have our relationship's problems settled and talked through with just me and him.
And yes, i ask for my closer friends' opinions.
Despite naturally being more incline to my well being, i thank them for letting me think straight and proper...

And darling, i love you.
despite it all, you'll always try to put you first. hugs