work | revelations

went to work yesterday - lemongrass thai restaurant (pasir ris branch)
it was damn packed.
there was a lot of work to do... my kind of thang.
i prefer doing something than just standing around...
when i came in for work i was a lil bit taken aback at the number of reserved seats.
then store manager said there is 95 pax reservations.
that is not counting the extra people those guest brought along with them.

it was a real nice semi cardio exercise :))
despite wearing a kebaya, i was feeling alright.
my shoes were a little bit slippery... i think i almost slipped in the kitchen entry for like 5 times.
wonderful.. lol

but i was a lil bit pissed at work too!
store manager suck the blood outa me. damn shithead lah
i hate it when someone gives imprecised directions/orders.
if he can tell it to me once, i will know it straight...
he DONT even know how to direct me to do things...
he just know how to give VAGUE directions... but whatever.. i hope i can avoid him most weekends. lol
cant help it... my aunt aint the owner anymore.. cant do anything but to do proper work.
haiz... but the best part? im getting pay very soon! yey

i have to save money though.

ive been spending a lot... actually i always spend a lot... haiz

i cant help it... but im alright with handling other's money... i just cant handle mine... at least not now...

i have to learn tho... for my future too...

talking about future.
last night, i was having a talk with my mum...
and it has made me set a long term goal. a wonderful goals in life...
but it would need a lot of me... i just hope i can do it.
after graduation, i shall have to test things to implement it.
as of now, i wont reveal it yet...
but it's about business... here in singapore and in the philippines.
i have enough back ups but i want to start with my capital together with parents' help.

i guess this is the way i can help my family gain what we have lost along the way in life.

life has taken a lot from us... failure after failure has reduced us to something that is not satisfactory to my eyes anymore.

with the talk i had with mum, i found out how important i am through connections.
i also found out who we are connected with.. and i found out how an important family has been run down by failures.
haha there are a lot of important people in my family actually.
now then my mum reveal to me...

i was wowed.
haha i aint going to say it here... i dont want to attract wrong events to me know =))

i know im important. that's it... =)) hehe

work was tiring!

1. reservations practically packed the whole place (95pax with addition of extra comers equating to 100)

2. i have some problem with the manager

3.

haloween and time management

haloween is upcoming and i still havent really decided whether to go or not
i mean i am thinking of all the possibilities.
laura says that the haloween bus still hasnt confirmed anything..
she will of course contact the i/c and i hope there really is
i mean $25/person bringing you in the most happening clubs around spore?
with free entry and free flow? =)) *heaven*



especiall to shenath, that idiot will go if there is free flow! haha
i just hope it will be damn happening...
well, so far i have thought about being a;
1. Gothic Fairy Princess

2. A vampire bride


and then i got attached... i thought about being...



and then shenath wanted to be zorro! so i might be elena...

anyway, i have a little big dilemma because i have to start saving doing my time management up a notch, i am very much eaten up with a lot things. hardly even have time to rest...
as of now...

i have
1. SUI! Operations DepartmentWelfare section
2. Institue-Varsity-Polytechnic Sports Reporting Crew Job
3. Social Circle
4. Boyfriend
5. Sleep

this is in random order...
but the boyfriend part is in my priority list but he will be a little bit inactive as we will both be busy doing our own things.
see how we have discipline! =))

anyway, i hope i will get around to joining laura and the rest. =))
it's going to be fun filled joy and laughter... lol

anyway, if you people out there would want to come and join us, let me know.
also, if you have any suggestion for any couples haloween costume get-ups, let me know...
call me, sms me, email me... and tag me if you want. but email me (as usual) is better... hehe
or you can find me in MSN, friendster... whatever... =))

toodles!

Schedules

hectic is the word for today
i cut class but it seems as if i even benefitted from it
usually when i do so, i actually chill out and have fun
in the day's case, i was running around madly...
oh and please hold your horses in the imagination side, im not going mad or anything!
im very much mentally fine, just a little bit untuned but im alright =))

anyway, today i finally got my computer reformatted
IT help desk was really worth it when you come to RP
whatever happens to your laptop - in terms of system down - you can get it fixed, re-fixed - whatever =))
this is one of the things i appreciate in school
okay well, shenath gave me the key to his hostel so apparently i am able to get some rest, of which i didn't even have time to do so!
so in the end i waited for him...
this week i must say, it's like a shenath-jean fiesta...
the last three days... today's the fourth...
i have been spending like 90% of my time non-class period time with him.

anyway, i really hope jan rick mascarina isn't going to hate me
he himself is very busy actually...
**wish you all the best for your entrepenuership stuff!**
then my so-called clique - me, cody, sandy, yihao, vanessa - are like out of touch
when they want to meet up, i have to refuse, then they will complain...
and then when i have the time, they neglect THAT time...
haiz... very hard lah. i dont really want to make a big fuss but i hate it when people say that i have neglected important friends.
i never chose to do that okay...
my boyfriend isn't that type of person who wont understand if i need my own time...
so please people, i dont need anyone telling me that i have been a very bad friend.
i juggle whatever i can... family, friends, boyfriend(s), school, work, social events, whatever...
i just hope you all can understand that i am very limited as i have only been blessed with one body.
i promise here with my blogders as my witness that i will make time for every important people who deserve more of me.
but please try to consider my limitations...
thank you

anyway, ling darling... it isn't intentional that i didn't tell you about sisters meetings...
i smsed you're hp but you have already changed it... of which i only got to find out last night when you smsed me goodnight... so im sorry if it has seemed that way.
apparently, nurul cancelled on me on the last minute, hajar's granny passed away and she isn't in the mood, plus she's working.
hidayah is the ONLY one who didn't even respond! please read this please read this - hehe
i feel very much detached from all those special people in my life...
even jan seemed to be so detached...
i wake him up whenever i can via calls, but that's all i can do... he seems so out and about, without anymore consultations from me..
but i know he's still there... im not worried... that bitch needs me... =)) haha
anyway, to all my friends, please dont ever detach yourself from me, no matter how much you think i neglect you.
I DONT... i am genuinely busy... even me and my boyfriend have to schedule our meetings.
i really hope ya'll understand!

to those affected... im so sorry.
i'll make it up to you all....

monday 1/10/07 - nurul
tuesday 2/10/07 - 5/10/07 = still up for booking okay
wednesday 3/10/07 - SUI! photoshoot/videoshoot and boyfriend

anything call me beforehand okay.
thank you

School madness

school is getting more hectic each day.
i feel diminished... the start of the day was alright, it went well...
second week of school and it feels really wonderful... it's still the honeymoon period!
okay, my classmates are really fun also. spontaneous and great... what else can i say?
today class did a skit today...

these few days my moods rather good... it really is still nice to be so fun loving
and being full of love, i will force vomit to itch out of your throats...
however, i really ain't that bad... im not going to let you suffer... i still want to have a descent blogdership...
anyhoo, love department is getting better!
friend department is getting whacked!!! new friends, new social circles but i still want the olds..

anyway, talking about the OLDs, i will be meeting nurul tomorrow!
hell yeah! hehe i really miss her!!!! =))
nurul sayang... so we shall have sex tmr! are you ready...? hehe kinky!
okay well, it doesn't matter with the time apart, our friendship is LOVE. true love... haha
now now, shenath... dont be jealous... hehehe...

im so sleepy... and for some reason i really like colors lately...
it's wonderful really.. =)) okay anyway, this post will not go really colorful okay..

i dont know what to say now. i want to do a post but i cant continue typing anymore...
i have lots to say! but im lazy to type. so, for now... take care!!!

but before i go, i want you ppl to see this!!

friendster questions

came across a friendster test whatever.
nothing to do so i did it... here it is...

YOU OPENED IT.. NOW YOU HAVE TO DO IT
OR YOU'LL NEVER BE WITH THE PERSON YOU
LOVE AND BE
HONEST. . DON'T CHICKEN
OUT. . . .


1) Single , Taken , Naked , or Flirty ?
- Taken


2) Are you happy with that ?
- yeah.


4) Have you ever had your heart
broken ?
- yep. duh


5) Do you believe that there are
certain circumstances where cheating
is ok ?
- haha yeah i think so. but not to me YET.


7) Have you ever talked about marriage
with another person ?
- indirectly, yeah. got proposed to even but took it as a joke... haha


8) Do you want children ?
- yeah... i think so most probably!


9) How Many?
- one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... haha jk. at least ONE


10) Would you consider adoption ?
- if i cant have my own child, maybe!


11) If someone liked you right now,
would you want them to tell you ?
- DUH! but just dont seduce me lah. im attached! haha


12) Do you want someone you can't
have ?
- hmmms i think i always get what i want. so far it has been like that...


13) Have you fallen in love?
- yes. once... and the second is still nurturing..


14) Do you believe in celebrating
anniversaries ?
- yes. i think it's a reminder for the couple to be MORE lovey dovey with each other.
just need to spend time together, HAPPY. =))


15) Do you believe that you can change
for someone ?
- if it's for good, yes. but definitely NO if it goes against my morality.

16.) Is it a good day ?
- yes. meeting my bf later! =))


17) Have you ever broken a heart
before ?
- err im sorry for those broken hearts... not really v serious in rships at those points.


18) Does your ex still have feelings
for you ?
- "shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice!" so i dont want to know... it still wont work, so why try again!


19) Do you still have feelings for
him?
- i cant love two people at the same time... i love my boyfriend, so go figure!


ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AND REPOST AS:
RELATIONSHIP SURVEY

[01] Do you still have feelings for
your ex?
+ WTF. ALL THE SURVEY HAVE THIS QUESTION. MY ANSWER? NO.

[02] Have you ever gave roses?
+ to my girlfriends... ehhh reminds me. i WANT ROSES!!!! =((

[03] What is your all-time favorite
romance movie?
+ ROMEO AND JULIET

[04] How many times have you honestly
been in love?
+ twice... now im in nurturing a new love.. hehe

[05] Do you believe that everyone has
a soul-mate?
+ yes... i think this is true but is very much under rated...

[06] Whats your current problem?
+ ENTERPRISE module. haha okay.. no problem so far...

[07] Have you ever had your heart
broken?
+ duh!

[08] Long Distance Relationships?
+ NO!!

[09] Have you ever seen a friend as
more than a friend?
+ it depends. but most of the time, not really...

[10] Do you believe the
statement, "Once a cheater always a
cheater"?
+ NO, but it will be hard not to believe it.

[11] How many kids do you want to have?
+ at least ONE

[12] What is(are) your favorite color
(s)?
+ RED, PINK, BLACK

[14] Do you believe you truly only
love once?
+ i dont think so... im a living proof!

[15] Imagine you're 79 and yur spouse
just died, would you get re-married?
+ LIKE NO. im so saggy ready... and i think i will love till eternity... but i still dont know... one day i will...

[16] At what age did you start
noticing the opposite sex?
+ 8!

[17] What song do you want to hear at
your wedding?
+ Once upon a December -

[18] Do you know someone who likes you?
+ yes!

[19] Do you like anyone?
+ yes!

[20] Are you currently in love?
+ of course!


i think im quite honest with the answers.
anyway, im going to present very soon, ima go on for now...

random updates

i spent my last day of the weekend being such a major bimbo
i forgot the pin number of my mum-owned ocbc card.
of which got retained at an atm machine...
i so totally got yelled at initially when i told her the horrid news.
then later i guess she manage to cool down...
i hid in my room for the whole 30mins
i didn't want to come out lest she starts nagging... i cant very well lose my temper out of my own mistakes...
all i can do to shield myself is to just admit my mistake and tell her that it really was a mistake - people like me makes those type of mistakes... bimbo of me really.

anyway, i bid this bimbo nature goodbye.
i am going to have good night sleep-nights, no matter what is the cost!
this coming week starting from tomorrow i shall sleep in early =)
and i hope the bf motivates me... and not just laugh!!
well, my fellow classmates has seen my worst retarded ways. at least during the days...
*please overlook that... hahahaha

i have also started work at Lemongrass thai restaurant.
i must say that it is really quite exciting but i stilll cannot say anything good about the duty manager.
haiz... oh well it is always in my mentality that roses, no matter how beautiful, has thorns.
one can never have such a perfect world without the ugly sides of it.
but i certainly wont take any nonsense from him.
that's the final thing... i consider myself great at work...
so if he is prepared to find another ME, of which i doubt he can get in a million years, then he can test my patience.
my mum told me to not mind these people as long as they dont affect you directly.
never let them eat you up inside... push them out as much as you can.
and so to mum i will listen... i have to =))

okay, about me and my friends now.
i really feel that i haven't been meeting all you people there...
thank you for always still remembering me - i cant help it if im hard to forget
anyway, to the sisters too, i really miss you guys...
nurul, you really must make time for me okay... i love you babe
and to hid, haj, ling... the 5 of us are still as always - sisters
no matter the time that has seems to distance us, i know that we can always regain that miles apart.

anyway, me and shenath are okay already like as you all have been reading.
i am really happy that some things me and nurul shared is not getting in our ways anymore.
nurul is also afraid but at least we are both happy in love! =))
err as in with OUR BFs... not with each other. we love each other. but not IN LOVE with each other... haha
okay whatever it is.
shenath is really someone who teaches me how to love indirectly.
his love for me motivates me to open up to him... further than any guy can actually dare try
i know i am not easy to be handled by anyone due to my stubborn nature, but he makes me want to let that guard down.
just not yet... at least not yet...
i am glad he understand that i need more time to evaluate my feelings for him.
i think daryl has hurt me enough in the past to refrain and discourage myself from loving another.
but this time, im sure shenath will be there.
if however he fails in a long run, i wouldn't regret having met him...
but shenath is someone who is becoming my hero...

darling... never stop the way you are being...
i love the way we love and we are the best fit so far...
i will give you the best of me... i love you...

Thinking

another song dedication from the bf.

anyway, im not asleep at this time cos im thinking.
thinking about what?

i really dont know. i feel happy about some things and yet i cannot define it at a definite point of reasoning.
i can say that my life is unfolding quite wonderfully and yet i cannot let myself be complacent.
i have my responsibilities and i have already set a standard that i have to uphold.

so do forgive me if my postings of the late isn't that up to my normal standards.
thank you for reading and visiting anyway.
okay anyway, i have to go try and sleep.
i have to wake up early tomorrow - things to do!

good night.
so

jean, cooking?

Cooking madness...
Updating tonight... im late for work!!!

smiles!

it's so good to be in good terms with shenath again
i thought i would still have those discontentment and all
lucky he's such a good boyfriend, MOST OF THE TIME, lol.
anyway, i felt i was so unfair previously, like i didn't think about the happy times with him and all that.
so anyway, i got some nice news!

1. i went through first week of school without skipping any classes!
2. started work at lemongrass thai restaurant
3. still working sidelines at 2hot!
4. starting out on my Professional Profiling project tittle ideas! =))
5. my new class rocks!

okay, im damn sleepy.
updating soon!!! =))

happy again

we have survived 5 days of disaster
3 days of thunderstorm
2 days of tornado/typhoon
good thing, i thought i will have four failed love life this year
phew...
anyway, he gave me the choice to decide
but he was convincing enough
and yes, ive been a bitch
and he's been an asshole
[so please darling, no more trying each other's patience]

im going to be fine
ive told him my problem
and im glad he respect my limitations
he better keep to our agreements
or id drop everything i agreed on to
=))

so nurul, either it is over
or you'd be over...
cos this time i think would be the only time
we would have this disasters
UNLESS HE DO SOMETHING MORE HORRIBLE

reasonings

last night as things went across my mind
as i lay thinking about some things;
about how much love and discontent i have felt
and how much i can dare to try again
so since i couldn't sleep i crept to my mummy's room
to see my dear brother and to calm myself
i saw how my mum was; tired and exhausted
but she's still holding on
for the love she felt for my brother
but they are of blood so love comes naturally
blood love is unconditional and is natural in my family
so is so any other love...?
pondering over the things that i hardly knew
i hardly felt nor hardly even thought would happen
eats me up more often than not
somehow however i have already thought about my answer
later when i meet him, i know what it will be...
however, his actions towards me will still either spoil or improve my decision...

Apathetic

the earlier poem i made
seems to be contradicting me
i feel like i want to let it burn
but a part of me wanna try again

im too indecisive when im hurt
when im slumber lacking
and when i know im right
with my fault admitted

emotions rush to me
something that i cant help
something i wont seem to handle
even if i can id just let this hurt be

nothing seems correct right now
someone says to give him a chance
another says to let it die
but i dont know

at least not now
at least not yet
maybe tomorrow id know
maybe tomorrow id see the answer

so for now
hold tight
and enjoy my emo days
like you've seen my happy ways

TO MY BEST GUY FREN

i dedicate this post to jan rick mascarina...
in due reason of being such a bitch and a horrible best girl-friend

jan huwag kang iiwak ha pero this is from my heart.
i love you my friend, my bitch, my slut... whatever...

yihao has told me about how you felt about the other day
i didn't think you mean what you said about sa pagka time mo time mo, pag sya, sya lang...
i know i haven't been such the bgf that i ought to be
and i can tell you that i haven't been a good girlfriend either.
so parang sa totoo fair and square lang kayo

i have told you that i will divide accordingly my time for you
cos i know that nasanay kana sa akin...
and i think that even ako din nasanay na
i can see you're not the same either...
parang naging malayo ka...

sa buong days ng holidays hindi man kita na meet
not because 24/7 ko syang kasama pero kasi i was busy with work too
since holiday yun, si aunty ko nag-ask na i work more...
pero huwag mo sanang naisip na hindi ko even plan to meet you at all those days apart form last sunday
i did but you were busy and i feel unfit to go out either...
maske nga magpunta sa bash ng friends ko hindi ko nagawa eh...

pero i want you to know that you are one friend that i know understands me and dont judge me.
no matter how bitchy i am to you... it is for you own good you know... diba
and thank you for the advises you think i didn't heed
i did but not as a whole... pero konti per konti..
huwag na huwag mong iisipin na he's taking you away from me...oops i mean he's taking me away from you... lol gays
no he isn't... he respects our friendship no matter how anti-social he may seem diba?
maske ask him pa, kapag merong time na maske sino na maynasasabi or nagtatanong nag seksualidad mo, de-nedepensa kita.
alam na alam nya yun, kaya alam nya to respect our friendship.

also, yung araw na yun, i didnt know you mean it na nagalit ka
parate kanaman kasing demanding as a joke diba.
so i guess hindi ko take yun seriously.
so talagang talaga im sorry if i ever made you feel less important than you were before.
i haven't been myself lately...
even with shenath, i haven't been myself lately...
now however that i have finally figured out why i felt as such, i can tell shenath about the things im going to tell him tomorrow.
pero hindi pala nyon tungkul sa bitch ko.
tungkul yun so indecisiveness ko.
at sa mixed emotion na nararamdaman ko
and i think you have subsconciously made me feel guilty...

so i think this should help.
sa lahat nagkulang sa aking friendship for you, sorry.
sa lahat ng mga nasasabi kong hindi maganda, im sorry.

this whole entry is dedicated to you, my friend.
thank you for always being there...
and for not judging me horrible even for everything that i did that you know about.
thank you that even tho hindi mo gusto si shenath, you still understood me.
and thank you for being protective over me.
thank you for being my pillar...

thank you dear friend...
and im sorry for everything horrible a bgf can ever do.
muacks! haha

this is you and me
just that you're shrek
and im donkey
=)) okay?

love,
jean

Something some people need to know

no we have not broken up
and no im not gonna give up
unless he wants to
im not letting go
unless it's impossible
it's just probable

you can say what you want
say we wont last for a month
i dont give a damn
cos im holding on my man
but if he choose to let things go
id just sadly let it be so

Rude Awakening

Do you ever have that dream
Where you're walking naked down the street
And everyone just stares
Do you ever feel so deep
That you speak your mind
To put others straight to sleep
You wonder if anybody cares
Sometimes I think I'm the only one
Whose day turned out unlike it had begun

And I feel bare naked
And I just can't take it
I'm getting jaded
No I just can't fake it anymore
cause I'm bare naked
And i know life's what you make it
Wish I could float away
To some other day

Do You ever go downstairs to start your day
But your car's not there
Yeah you know the joke's on you
You ever try your luck with a pickup line
But you just sucked
You tell yourself it wasn't you
And I know it's hard to hold it inside
It's days like these I run and hide

When I feel bare naked
And I just can't take it
I'm getting jaded
No I just can't fake it anymore
Cause I'm bare naked
And I know life's what you make it
Wish I could float away
To some other day

It's all a state of mind
But I don't mind trying to find a way
To keep my head above the mess I make
What the world creates
Sometimes it feels so good to let it all fall
As the world fall
I may fall
We all may fall
And then the world comes tumbling
Down down down down down

I'm bare naked
And I just can't take it
I'm getting jaded
No I just can't fake it anymore
Cause I'm bare naked
And I know life's what you make it
Wish I could float away
To some other day

When I feel
I feel (bare naked)
You feel
We all feel
Yeah no no no

My tea's gone cold, i'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there,
They'll all imply that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
It's not so bad and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

Push the door,
I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me

And I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

I FINALLY KNEW

it has to lay on us
the sides of relationships that i hate
i brought it to us
i ended such a happy love
but im at my weakest point now
all i needed was for your shoulders, your hands, your arms
your compassion to feel and understand me

me and myself have things going on
there are things that i've yet to deal
it does not say i dont love you anymore
it's a mere wait
a wait that is up to you to take

there are things we said
things that we're meant to be said
but it is said anyway
the unhappiness crashes in
the warmth turned to cold
but my love for you is deep
now this i know

and that's what i really want to know
i guess i have found out
in the most painful way
as a tear drop when you held me
i knew im really loving you

as another set of tears drop for making us this way
i know im really loving you
then as emotions overwhelm me
i know i am really loving you
and as you said somethings that hurt
of which you didn't think it didn't
i felt the ache,
and then i know im really loving you

that's all to say for now
if things do work
or even if it didn't; nothing matters
cause i know i really do love you
that's all there is
there isn't anymore

new beginning

w45f

!!here i come!!

day out

i like these.. the start of the beauty of sunset






yesterday i went out
spent the whole day and early night at vivo and sentosa
original plan was to go see fort canning park
but we en route to vivo

i met shenath first
got 20mins late and he was so moody
a hungry man is an angry man...
when we finally met, all there was between us was eye contact and i was trying to comfort him.
i dont know if that was enough. i dont know how to approach a moody guy
so anyway, we didn't talk until marriot exit from orchard mrt
shithead really. so i was like fine... let him cool down
then before turning to the escalator, i was DRAGGED by the rugger
and my toe got slammed on the jag of the escalator... the skin got peeled off and i was semi bleeding...
i just shut up and i didnt talk much...
at far east i tried to console him again, but it went wasted...
so yeahs... i continued to just shut up. so much for trying anyway...

anyway, i didn't pay any mind to him anymore up till he started any conversation
so he did and i responded when i have to.
you sisters would know if im pissed i talk less...
later on i saw people giving out balloons, went crazy and i felt a lil bit better when i got one
the power of the balloons! =))

anyway, at plaza singapura where we walked from far east, he gave me a tight hug of reconciliation.
but i dont know, i still felt a bit reluctant.
i guess it was the exhaustion and the shocked i got from the way i got 'dragged'
hmm i never will know.. but it lasted till the night... and i was sooo damn tired.

shenath and i went out with dilan and tharaka
dilan is shenath's closest friend and gay buddy,
and tharaka is dilan's all-time girlfriend... they're practically married...

met them at plaza singapura and we traveled to harbourfront (vivo)
we were at the level3 all through
playing with the water and then to hogs breath cafe
to have some drink... thats it...
spent my last bucks there.. of which i really dont know how i manage to spend my $90 at one go...
... for transport and i dont know the rest.
i didn't spend anything yesterday apart from the cafe...
so yeahs... bet the rest went to other things and transport
i hate mrt fares.. so expensive.. haha

whatever it is i did enjoy my holidays.
problem now is when school reopen..
i will be damn busy again...
i dont know if i will have time for boyfriend still but im sure i will find the time...
i have to... dont want to neglect him now right...

anyway, i would like to show you the beauty of the sun set.
i love it... also, i have pictures for you to see of yesterday...

here goes...

me and him

thara and dilan


random


thara and dilan


hog's breath cafe - nice chill out place

our self-portrait



his hugs are always tight
ooops

the water couple - me and shenath stayed most dry

he's wet at the wrong places

and so is she... haha
the siloso beach changed a lot =((

arabian prince wannabe

my arabian and i
who's that girl...?

so yesterday i was out with the shenath, dilan and tharaka

dedicated

bed of roses - bon jovi


open arms - journey


woman - john lenon

Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars

Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Wellll

Woman please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again

I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah
Now and forever
I love you, yeah, yeah


and i love her - the beatles

I give her all my love
That's all I do
And if you saw my love
You'd love her too
I love her

She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I love her

A love like ours
Could never die
As long as I
Have you near me

Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
will never die
And I love her

Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
will never die
And I love her, ooh

my girl - the temptation

RANDOM2

after doing this, i did the following, to fill my time.
at least before i head on to the cafe =))

'fresh' from bed with my elmo sleeping dress


still insane...


spying on the neighbours... hehehe jobless

i found this in my folders... lol

this happens during the SUI! Camp.
it is the compilation of all the stupid dare that was executed in the game of EMPEROR
it may be blurry but try to see the part where jan had to hug a girl.
hahaha... imagine jan go straight!! it's going to be so fucked! haha
i will throw him a party sia. but no no no, later i cannot be bff with him.
will be weird lah. hahaha he being a guy would be soo ewww. hahaha
id rather he stick to his own sexual disorientation. then it can be more fun...
people like jan are fun with girls. no need to fear being raped. hahaha

anyway, check this out...



credits to Hid for showing me this.

this was taken months and months ago
during the POC3 period
well, i just thought id relive this memory =))
and i still say that 'captain jack' looks so like someone i know...
someone the sisters know... dont you think?

addiction singing Bebot! twas damn cool
i want to go for another concert!!


bit blury. hmm but Blanco was hot. haha
Go Rivermaya! =))
sucha Filipino pride...

and of course not forgetting...
me and my boyfriend
haha

oh and did you know that there is a formula for love?

okay.
good day for now
loves!!!

random

my dear brother frowning like my dad. haha

i think im being so random with the pictures


see how bimbotic me and jan can be...

anyway, im starting to miss school badly.
oh and i forgot to announce it here.

MY SEMESTER 2 CLASS IS W45F.

i only know two guys - liang dong and alif
okay anyway, i want to sleep now.
the earlier escapades i have with the boyfriend is getting to me..
okay.
night!!!

Nostalgia Weird

i woke up without my left hand,
it got stuck somewhere in between the world of dreams and reality...
of which to say i lay on it and thus causing it to numb.

Metaphorically, id like to think that my hand got stuck in another world;
another neighboring plane(dimension)

Panic struck me! as it always does...

Each time this happens, i felt the same pang of adrenaline rush-
the same momentous fear..

The numbness i felt made my poor hand jelly-like,
as much as it seemed lifeless, bone-less, gone, detached...
lost in time... frozen in time...

Minutes later as i became more aware, warmth rushes back to the frozen region of my arms and hands.

I shook it gently, then i hugged it closer to me.
I willed it to warm and evoke the horrid numbness.
Then... start went my day...

The day was rough in the beginning,
irritable moments threatened to spoil my mood...
It succeeded but the encouragement from the man in my life made it hard to keep myself mood out.
No matter he be with me or not, he's able to make me feel better.

Last year - Singapore Idol 2006

On the way to work, i saw the one person i had thought i will never see anymore...
Azim, The player turned Illusionist...

When i saw him, memories flooded me.
All the childish pranks and the entire memories of the coolest group in my alma mater.
We exchanged stories and news about the old members.
We recounted and recalled memories that lead to me, azim and his friend, bursting into fits of laughters.
Also, there came the all-time controversial event in the group, even in the school.
the Shaistah-Azim-Hajar relationship.
Then Azim stopped to recall Shaistah saying, "Mary she's damn beautiful right?"
I dont know whether to call him an asshole or to just mock him dry really...

Anyway, more info can be found about my old clique at my past post - NOSTALGIC ME
Our conversations went from exchange of news to the entire past of our clique, even our carpark tag.
it was really retarded. i miss every moment of it

but then he has to alight, sad to part but maybe all of us can meet once again.
at least before i die or something... haha
Then as he left, the laughters over the memories forced a smile on my face.
left like an idiot smiling to myself, but i know it only shows through my eyes...
It lingered there for quite awhile and then back to reality.



at work, i was visited by Nurul darling.
I totally miss her... so wonderful to see her... my walking diary
then something made me squirm inside.
SHE'S OFFICIALLY ATTACHED!!! like wtf haha...
and then came that sickening feeling i always dread.
after she told me, i know i have to be careful... i have to...

this is something only she and i know.

in the cafe today, something moved my heart.
Love.


Yes, L-O-V-E...
there was this couple that i served tonight.
the man appeared normal at first glance, but the second look gave away his mild disability. physical disability
he has apparently suffered stroke.
a strong one, enough to ensure it is evident.
the lady with him stood by him, still looking protective and proud with the man she is with, no matter how physically wrong he is.
i give my respect and of course i honor her.

it shows how much she love him.
how much she is there to stick to him, to be with him.
it shows how much love is under rated in the midst of the 21st century.
21st century's love is infatuation that has imitated itself like love.
only that this infatuation last a certain length of time.
that only when something goes wrong after weeks or a month, they'll know that they aren't in love enough to give their 100% nor their willingness to try.

i am amaze at how much i have life knowledge by looking at others.
sometimes i fear looking at my own ways and life.
i fear that by looking at myself, i would end up hating myself.
i would end up hating the way i am... i did before but i went past that phase already.
just that, what if,only what if, something comes to surface and i cant fight it anymore.
and thus spoil the relationship i have.

it doesnt matter.
time will reveal itself... it time spin it's yarn...

but now, just see the beauty of the moon