I smiled to sleep and I woke up smiling.
That's what his lips did to me.
Ok, as I type this and I recount about us, I smile more.
{what the heaven is wrong with me?}
It's a simple, light but wonderful, innocent kiss. It's simplicity is simply lovely.
Oh yes, I brought honey to one of my favorites. A tower overlooking the whole city at bugis ;)
Ahhh!
What I'm amazed was the level of comfort I have with him.
Usually, i'll be squirmish and felt uncomfy of closeness. He's a gentleman, period.
{and it's about time I gauge my comfort level with him. Bestie thinks that he's the slowest advancing boyfie I had - but we both like it. hehe}
There's no rush and pressure at all, besides, with our plans already almost in store, we can choose to take our time. We have all the time together to enjoy each others' company :)
For now, this hearty and simple innocent of a kiss will do.
{I want more of this, jus this type of nice light kissing}
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
There are three things that walk with stately stride–no, four that strut about: the lion, king of animals, who won’t turn aside for anything. - Proverbs 30:29-30
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Me; Reality
Many people know me to be the happiest, the bubbliest, the one who always have a smile on my face. I make the most of happiness because it's meant to be appreciate to the fullest.
There are people however who thinks that if you allow yourself to be too happy, there is a hidden motive that life has, which will later ensure that you are sad.
But as I see it, you are first sad then you know happiness. For how can one know happiness when one doesn't know sadness. These two come hand in hand.
I've always been seen strong, tough, manly, unemotional, and I like that. No kidding. Yet, I appreciate thoroughly those people who welcomes the opposite of what I portray.
Yes, I've emotions too.
I have the downfalls, the moments of tears and contracted chest, to the point of inability to breathe.
Many a time, I avoid being alone, because I keep remembering how I've completely let my grandma down. For over past 6 months now, I still cry about the same regret; the same pain that causes me to lay bare on my bed, hoping that I can turn back time.
If only I could, and do what I should have done at that moment of time. I'd be much at peace having to let her go. But now, I don't think I can ever...
{Until the time we are all raised up to Christ, and maybe only then, then only can I be complete}
I miss her, and I'd have given half of my life now to turn back time.
And the other half of mine, to seek God's permission to let my grandpa live long; long enough to see me married, have kids, and fulfilled the promise I've given to his wife, my dear grandma.
{I've already have that granted, and I've claimed it sweetly}
--
There are much to thank for, and I'm happy actually. Despite the tears, the happiness comes in much increased abundance.
I have a relationship that I can understand, and with whom surprisingly knows, and says, what's in my mind.
He's has passed the top criterias that grandma told me a long time ago, and I didn't realize so till just recently.
Therefore, it's been affirmed that I didn't just 'stumble' upon this relationship for nuts.
Still, more to come. There's a big challenge I see though, but knowing him, if there's a will there's a way. That's what I love about him.
{Honey, I hope that you're the half of the sacrament I've been seeking}
--
This August 16, 2011, is grandma's first death anniversary.
I'm going back for 10 days, and plan a program, and hold a peaceful distribution of heirlooms & will.
Let's hope that I can find peace after her one year, as I seek to reconcile with this regrets.
{When I think about going back, I get angry with myself too because I make fuss of ensuring I go back, and for what? When she's already gone? But I've to always remember my grandpa is still around}
In all, I now promise to myself that I will do things even if I might regret it, than regret not doing it.
{Love you, Lola.}
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
There are people however who thinks that if you allow yourself to be too happy, there is a hidden motive that life has, which will later ensure that you are sad.
But as I see it, you are first sad then you know happiness. For how can one know happiness when one doesn't know sadness. These two come hand in hand.
I've always been seen strong, tough, manly, unemotional, and I like that. No kidding. Yet, I appreciate thoroughly those people who welcomes the opposite of what I portray.
Yes, I've emotions too.
I have the downfalls, the moments of tears and contracted chest, to the point of inability to breathe.
Many a time, I avoid being alone, because I keep remembering how I've completely let my grandma down. For over past 6 months now, I still cry about the same regret; the same pain that causes me to lay bare on my bed, hoping that I can turn back time.
If only I could, and do what I should have done at that moment of time. I'd be much at peace having to let her go. But now, I don't think I can ever...
{Until the time we are all raised up to Christ, and maybe only then, then only can I be complete}
I miss her, and I'd have given half of my life now to turn back time.
And the other half of mine, to seek God's permission to let my grandpa live long; long enough to see me married, have kids, and fulfilled the promise I've given to his wife, my dear grandma.
{I've already have that granted, and I've claimed it sweetly}
--
There are much to thank for, and I'm happy actually. Despite the tears, the happiness comes in much increased abundance.
I have a relationship that I can understand, and with whom surprisingly knows, and says, what's in my mind.
He's has passed the top criterias that grandma told me a long time ago, and I didn't realize so till just recently.
Therefore, it's been affirmed that I didn't just 'stumble' upon this relationship for nuts.
Still, more to come. There's a big challenge I see though, but knowing him, if there's a will there's a way. That's what I love about him.
{Honey, I hope that you're the half of the sacrament I've been seeking}
--
This August 16, 2011, is grandma's first death anniversary.
I'm going back for 10 days, and plan a program, and hold a peaceful distribution of heirlooms & will.
Let's hope that I can find peace after her one year, as I seek to reconcile with this regrets.
{When I think about going back, I get angry with myself too because I make fuss of ensuring I go back, and for what? When she's already gone? But I've to always remember my grandpa is still around}
In all, I now promise to myself that I will do things even if I might regret it, than regret not doing it.
{Love you, Lola.}
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Monday, March 21, 2011
My definition of Love
Love holds different meaning to different people. It can mean different, start, blossom or even end differently.
For me, love is something like this now:
"Love is not about two people looking at each other, but of two who are looking towards the same direction."
Honey and I have an altogether different but functional relationship. It doesn't really consist of constant assurance, of 24/7 report status, of enforcing loyalty and of fearing we are going to lose each other constantly.
My relationship is something I have always desired. My bestfriend saw it.
She commented, while I was kinda suddenly falling into a doubt, that "isn't this exactly what you wanted?" and ever since, I realized that there's a reason why I said yes to him. And the reason is because he respects the space I need, and he appreciates me thoroughly because I do too.
It's lovely. Simply lovely.
With him, I don't have conditions set before me. I don't even need to watch what I say, who I talked with and act accordingly. Cos no matter what habit I hold on to, I stopped or continue, he tolerates.. And eventually leading to acceptance.
Wonderful.
But of course, to be successful in this relationship, both of you must be happy on your own. Fulfilled by your own company or the company of others. Limited to nothing, but only loyalty.
He's a simple, understanding, wonderful, rational and straight forward man, who meets me halfway. Who I can talk straight to without actually have the need to worry or be shy to.
Do I worry about the usual guy instances that he might end up cheating if I don't have time for him? Or woman instances that I'd cheat when he doesn't have time for me?
Probably im prepared, but I'm not worried. I want him, and he wants me. That's enough for now.
I can't wait to see him again <3
We been too busy with other things lately. Boohoo.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
For me, love is something like this now:
"Love is not about two people looking at each other, but of two who are looking towards the same direction."
Honey and I have an altogether different but functional relationship. It doesn't really consist of constant assurance, of 24/7 report status, of enforcing loyalty and of fearing we are going to lose each other constantly.
My relationship is something I have always desired. My bestfriend saw it.
She commented, while I was kinda suddenly falling into a doubt, that "isn't this exactly what you wanted?" and ever since, I realized that there's a reason why I said yes to him. And the reason is because he respects the space I need, and he appreciates me thoroughly because I do too.
It's lovely. Simply lovely.
With him, I don't have conditions set before me. I don't even need to watch what I say, who I talked with and act accordingly. Cos no matter what habit I hold on to, I stopped or continue, he tolerates.. And eventually leading to acceptance.
Wonderful.
But of course, to be successful in this relationship, both of you must be happy on your own. Fulfilled by your own company or the company of others. Limited to nothing, but only loyalty.
He's a simple, understanding, wonderful, rational and straight forward man, who meets me halfway. Who I can talk straight to without actually have the need to worry or be shy to.
Do I worry about the usual guy instances that he might end up cheating if I don't have time for him? Or woman instances that I'd cheat when he doesn't have time for me?
Probably im prepared, but I'm not worried. I want him, and he wants me. That's enough for now.
I can't wait to see him again <3
We been too busy with other things lately. Boohoo.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Hospitality
The means of being hospitable gets muddled into commercialized aspect that has got to do only with serving.
As many people in the service line are taught to be hospitable, there comes a concern in me that these people lack one valuable reason on hospitality.
The functional world revolves around making money out of everything. That people have to pay huge amounts to learn to be hospitable, in polytechnics or private institutions.
Little did we know that despite learning all these commercialized form of hospitality doesn't make us any more hospitable than we were before we enrolled.
Yes, there are techniques to be learned in the commercialized hospitality industry. However, it doesn't teach you that Love should be the reason and outcome of hospitality.
There's not one technique that tells people to serve with love.
However, you will find that people who have a hospitable background tend to serve others better than those who have had no familiar hospitality background while growing up.
Sometimes however, hospitality may be derived from the second family of the person. Second families consists of relatives, extended relations, and of course, (parish) community.
To be hospitable we must be willing to offer these three things at least;
1. Food &
2. Drink
3. A place to sleep
Of course it doesn't stop there. Offer these without the heart served with it is a piracy of hospitality.
I attended a seminar regarding (Christian) Hospitality last weekend, and what moved me was the best hospitable act to give / show our visitors etc is our presence.
The way we talk, the way we look at them, we listen good and we respond with realness of ourselves.
Now that wraps up hospitality.
You may not offer food, drinks and a place to stay because maybe you don't have enough of these, or none at all, but you offer your presence and that sums up all.
And this I write from the opinion of my heart <3
Feel free to second this or to beg to differ :)
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
As many people in the service line are taught to be hospitable, there comes a concern in me that these people lack one valuable reason on hospitality.
The functional world revolves around making money out of everything. That people have to pay huge amounts to learn to be hospitable, in polytechnics or private institutions.
Little did we know that despite learning all these commercialized form of hospitality doesn't make us any more hospitable than we were before we enrolled.
Yes, there are techniques to be learned in the commercialized hospitality industry. However, it doesn't teach you that Love should be the reason and outcome of hospitality.
There's not one technique that tells people to serve with love.
However, you will find that people who have a hospitable background tend to serve others better than those who have had no familiar hospitality background while growing up.
Sometimes however, hospitality may be derived from the second family of the person. Second families consists of relatives, extended relations, and of course, (parish) community.
To be hospitable we must be willing to offer these three things at least;
1. Food &
2. Drink
3. A place to sleep
Of course it doesn't stop there. Offer these without the heart served with it is a piracy of hospitality.
I attended a seminar regarding (Christian) Hospitality last weekend, and what moved me was the best hospitable act to give / show our visitors etc is our presence.
The way we talk, the way we look at them, we listen good and we respond with realness of ourselves.
Now that wraps up hospitality.
You may not offer food, drinks and a place to stay because maybe you don't have enough of these, or none at all, but you offer your presence and that sums up all.
And this I write from the opinion of my heart <3
Feel free to second this or to beg to differ :)
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Bible Quote
Thank you for viewing my blog, readers.
I appreciate the time you all take to read my posts, no matter how boring.
Would like to share with you a verse that grows in me:
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he shall be cast outside as the branch and wither; and they shall gather them up and cast them into fire, and they shall burn" -John 15:5-6
Sharing:
Last year, I felt the difference of relying on myself and having a powerful God, so divine, to intervene in my life.
Many times before last year I know I've experience the difference, but last year was truly my awakening.
I'm a strong willed girl who even to a fault doesn't allow moments of happiness pass. So I don't let myself get bogged down by negativity. I'm stubbornly able to lead the way to what I want. I expect a lot but I also expected to not receive (it's always at the back of my head).
To the point, I'm strong.
No matter how difficult, I just needed a little push of inspiration to get me going. But I could feel my elasticity almost going to give way to breakage.
And just as it was going to, He called me to walk with Him.
From March to May, my home life took a huge crash as financial disagreements rose. From May onwards, my almost 3year relationship ended. July came, and August came and the events felt as if someone ripped off your still fresh scab,
dig at it and poured in a bottle of alcohol in the open wound.
My beloved grandma passed away.
But when she left me here on earth, she gave me the best inheritance any daughter or grandchild could ask for - love, faith and hope - God.
And I'm happy. For all the things God has given me and made me to become.
I will give him the glory He rightfully deserves.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
I appreciate the time you all take to read my posts, no matter how boring.
Would like to share with you a verse that grows in me:
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he shall be cast outside as the branch and wither; and they shall gather them up and cast them into fire, and they shall burn" -John 15:5-6
Sharing:
Last year, I felt the difference of relying on myself and having a powerful God, so divine, to intervene in my life.
Many times before last year I know I've experience the difference, but last year was truly my awakening.
I'm a strong willed girl who even to a fault doesn't allow moments of happiness pass. So I don't let myself get bogged down by negativity. I'm stubbornly able to lead the way to what I want. I expect a lot but I also expected to not receive (it's always at the back of my head).
To the point, I'm strong.
No matter how difficult, I just needed a little push of inspiration to get me going. But I could feel my elasticity almost going to give way to breakage.
And just as it was going to, He called me to walk with Him.
From March to May, my home life took a huge crash as financial disagreements rose. From May onwards, my almost 3year relationship ended. July came, and August came and the events felt as if someone ripped off your still fresh scab,
dig at it and poured in a bottle of alcohol in the open wound.
My beloved grandma passed away.
But when she left me here on earth, she gave me the best inheritance any daughter or grandchild could ask for - love, faith and hope - God.
And I'm happy. For all the things God has given me and made me to become.
I will give him the glory He rightfully deserves.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
My heart Smiles
It's funny how you never expected to feel something wonderful but you actually do.
I've conveyed to mum and well, she was concern but all was good when she asked me something and she saw I'm happy. She was trying to catch a glimpse of what I feel, that I might not know about.
I honestly didn't think that my face expressed what is in the inner part of my heart. (even if I'm afraid or shy to admit)
Haha I'm not saying I'm soooo in love, but it will get there, given proper time and connection I know I will.
For some reason, I still cannot find a bad thing to pin point in him.
But maybe, who knows it's true that maybe someone is made just for you, perfect in your eyes and soul.
We are two adults seeking something stable and of love.
So may God bless our souls.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Friday, March 4, 2011
The New Beginning?
I decided.
I'm excited and it's really funny how things led to something serious such as these.
I've to share with mum soon.
She'll definitely be full of questions, and even skeptical, just as how concern my best friend is due to this.
I don't blame her. This is not how my relationship starts but honestly, it's real funny how my life goals matched his.
We'll have to simmer things down, actually accept the incredible story.
I think even he and I still find things incredible.
I've never felt more adult than I ever thought I could feel. Wow.
I'm looking forward to see him again :)
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
I'm excited and it's really funny how things led to something serious such as these.
I've to share with mum soon.
She'll definitely be full of questions, and even skeptical, just as how concern my best friend is due to this.
I don't blame her. This is not how my relationship starts but honestly, it's real funny how my life goals matched his.
We'll have to simmer things down, actually accept the incredible story.
I think even he and I still find things incredible.
I've never felt more adult than I ever thought I could feel. Wow.
I'm looking forward to see him again :)
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Love, Salvation, Trust
Human's love is imperfect no matter how sincere or perfect it may seem. It is selfish, and it is full of shortcomings. But with God, Human's love is made perfect.
Why? Because...
And the most evident product of His Love is His providence of our salvation:
When you learn to
Even the most scary fall, you will not fear because you know His Hands will catch you, firmly and securely.
So come on, it's time to fall into His arms.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Why? Because...
And the most evident product of His Love is His providence of our salvation:
When you learn to
Even the most scary fall, you will not fear because you know His Hands will catch you, firmly and securely.
So come on, it's time to fall into His arms.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Generous heart
Mother Theresa said to give till it hurts. That only when we feel a pinch do we know that yes, we are actually giving ourselves along with what we give others.
It goes with regards to money, but of course the intangible things like love, help and the likes too are counted.
In which case, I thought that maybe it suggests that Love NEED to hurt.
So I was thinking that it's when were hurt that we learn to appreciate the love, and when we give till there's none much left that we understand the meaning of being generous.
I have been examining my conscience with my ability of being generous.
Am I being generous or am I being a show off?
With lately been provided by a good cash-flow, am I lending, giving and loaning to people because I want to be a help that makes my friends glorify God for my help or is it to increase my ego and glorify myself?
Honestly, this year GOD's providence is really abundant. Even when I don't have much anymore, even to the point of complete dry spell of money, one way or another, I get a windfall.
Experiencing God in this way makes me understand how blessed I am.
This year is one of the most challenging just yet: two of my younger cousins will be coming with grandpa. They'll be studying here and I'm going to be their lifeline.
So many obstacle so far with documentations and as I think of the cost of them living here, I praise the Lord for letting me tap from His strength.
Also, im not going to lie that I need a human man offer me the warmth and moral encouragement I need.
But I will not settle for just random man with false intent and insufficient warmth to support.
He must be a God-fearing man who honors and respect a woman in all ways, in hopes of allowing her to be holy.
Idealistic? Yes, but ideas divine are ideas that will be made real by God.
Believe.
This year, I've an offer to take that can truly be a blessing. If it is His Will, I gladly accept it.
P.S. I've already made peace with Thomas. That means that emotional baggages has been cleared. We are happy for each other.
Praise God for today's opportunity. Amen.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
It goes with regards to money, but of course the intangible things like love, help and the likes too are counted.
In which case, I thought that maybe it suggests that Love NEED to hurt.
So I was thinking that it's when were hurt that we learn to appreciate the love, and when we give till there's none much left that we understand the meaning of being generous.
I have been examining my conscience with my ability of being generous.
Am I being generous or am I being a show off?
With lately been provided by a good cash-flow, am I lending, giving and loaning to people because I want to be a help that makes my friends glorify God for my help or is it to increase my ego and glorify myself?
Honestly, this year GOD's providence is really abundant. Even when I don't have much anymore, even to the point of complete dry spell of money, one way or another, I get a windfall.
Experiencing God in this way makes me understand how blessed I am.
This year is one of the most challenging just yet: two of my younger cousins will be coming with grandpa. They'll be studying here and I'm going to be their lifeline.
So many obstacle so far with documentations and as I think of the cost of them living here, I praise the Lord for letting me tap from His strength.
Also, im not going to lie that I need a human man offer me the warmth and moral encouragement I need.
But I will not settle for just random man with false intent and insufficient warmth to support.
He must be a God-fearing man who honors and respect a woman in all ways, in hopes of allowing her to be holy.
Idealistic? Yes, but ideas divine are ideas that will be made real by God.
Believe.
This year, I've an offer to take that can truly be a blessing. If it is His Will, I gladly accept it.
P.S. I've already made peace with Thomas. That means that emotional baggages has been cleared. We are happy for each other.
Praise God for today's opportunity. Amen.
~ Posted by MJ thru BlogPress by iPhone
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