Day 2 on Superstar Virgo (2)

So I was writing my day 2 on board the ship and then as I was uploading some photos, my blogpress got cocked up and it crashed on me.

So instead of typing again, I'll put it on point form:

- went swimming with Cantona, Janice and Grace
- table tennis with Cantona, Rudy, Janice, Jacy, Shenal, Ganesh, Bryan
- did a mini photoshoot with Bryan as photographer
- played mini golf with Arvind, Krishnan, Moorthy, Anthony and the others who came by
- went to bella vista for dinner with Cantona, Gem, Janice, Shenal, Bryan and Anthony
- Chilled out at the deck till 3am
- Realized at I spent $100 on drinks just for myself when I won't normally do on land

So anyway, here are some pics to see:
























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Day 1 in Superstar Virgo

Post update of my weekend holiday:

We reached Harbourfront center around 4.30pm only to start boarding at around 6pm. We dispersed into our respective cabins with our designated cabin mates.



I was assigned with Gem & Janice, my two other Pinoy buddies in Innocom.

Despite wanting to rest for even just a little while, we had to get ready for our group dinner at Bella Vista. The stated dress code was 'Elegant Casual'. And so we dressed accordingly after our much needed shower and make ups, headed out late only to be further delayed by being late.

We were not able to locate the right part of deck 6 of the ship that is where Bella Vista is located. After asking and being directed to the area, we walked into the restaurant, only to get head turns and some ''wow'' and ''so dressed up'' comments.

They were hardly dressed closed to 'Elegant Casual'.

Nevertheless, we sat at the next available 4-seaters and made ourselves comfortable. The restaurant's waiters were not at all attentive nor even bothered to make us feel acknowledged that we are there ready to be served.

However, after a moment of asking and calling for them, they provided our allocated meal.



These were our dishes - steamed chicken, stir-fried kangkong, prawns, Thai-sauce fish, and sweet pork, accompanied by meat soup and Chinese tea.

The food was not bad. The fish was awesome in the thai sauce, if that is what is the sauce. It tasted as such. I pretty much enjoyed the Chinese tea. It's a real treat.

After exchanging silent "his" and "hellos" from the others, we received group gathering at our table, consisting of Anthony, Bryan, Rudy and Cantona.

They 'blessed' our food by eating off them complaining that they weren't filled and later left for the decks for a smoke. Cantona stayed with us till we finish our meal.

We joined them again at the deck D for the emergency drill.



The crew showed us where to gather and how to use our life jacket in case of emergency. The drill lasted for no more than 10mins. Then we were free to do our own things. The free and easy part of the cruise started.

Initial group was Anthony, Bryan, Shenal, Cantona, Gem, Janice, and I. Later as we headed to the Piazza, we were all joined by Grace, Ganesh, Basanta, and we saw the others.


Lost count of who came and went with us. But I know that after walking around for a bit, I disintegrated myself from the group and went solo to Bellini for a glass of wine. I got myself a $39 (add 15% Cust service charge for every transactions ok) coupon that gives me 6 drink tabs that I plan to last the 2 nights. I also saw the best present for mum. It's a nice bag, I will purchase it tomorrow and add it in the next post 'Day 2 in Superstar Virgo'.

Later on, I walked around and ended up at the top deck, in hopes to bump into them. After walking around and exploring on my own for some time, I was reunited with Gem and Janice, who were taking photos with Janice's DSLR. After which, we explored the casino areas in hope to find the guys.

Cantona called me to let them know where they are. But darn it I'm going to be charged $10 jus for that 2mins call! So we headed up deck to be back with the group. We found them, sat with them - Anthony, Bryan, Rudy, Shenal, Cantona, Basanta - and then later I floated onto the other group - Judy, Lenny, Derrick, Ck, Andrew (red-faced due to beer), Joot and beau, Fabian, and Richard - they were drinking on and on, with Andrew already tipsy. It was a good laugh with them. Then I floated back with the earlier group.

We had a round of Truths and Dare minus the dare, and uncovered crazy things from these colleagues. Good laugh!

After a bit, we went to check out a party at the Piazza, which was not a party at all, more like games night, so we headed up to the Mediterranean Buffet food hall. Along the way, Arvind, Ganesh, Moorthy and Krishnan went with us (minus Anthony and Bryan) and all through supper.

Gem and Cantona respectively called it a day and they retired on their respective cabins, so it was only Janice, Shenal, Basanta, Arvind, Ganesh, Moorthy, Krishnan and I was left.

Headed to casino as Basanta wanted to try his luck, but since Janice couldn't come in due to her DSLR, we left Basanta and Shenal there, and headed to top deck.

Then that's where we all learned dance from each other. We took shots and being the photography enthusiast, I was their photographer!

Richard came to join us and danced with Moorthy to some Hindi song. It was another good laugh (:

We hung out for a bit joining the other group at KTV lounge, just to say hi and we went to Starlight lounge to listen to the liveband but just as we wanted to order drinks, the singer bid goodnight with their last songs so I cancelled my order and without much left to do, we all called it a good night and headed to our respective cabins.

Tomorrow is a brand new day!



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Are we having fun yet?

This weekend will be a bit different. I'm going to join my company for a 3D2N retreat on board a cruise - Superstar Virgo.

This is going to be my first time on company retreat and on board a big ship like Virgo.

I've always loved the waters. There's something about the sea that I find alluring. I always feel at home when at the presence of the sea. So I enjoy the beach, and even just lazing by the shore.

So anyway, I will update when I get back hugs to you all!

Mwahs.

Dream Bedroom (This is only on sexy and girly days)

This Malibu Barbie Bedroom is the bomb man. Makes me think of nice nice things (:
No, i'm not girlie. And it's not because of Barbie that i like this bedroom. Cos this is a harmonious combination of my fave colors - Red (especially) and Pink!

Love it.

Mr Right, please get me this bedroom, and you can expect great things ;)

Weeee~

In Search of a New Heart Beat

I was actually pondering this subject in my head - How come till now i haven't gon gugu gaga (crushed madly) on anyone, that is then worth enough to flirt continuously with in hopes and wish to have him as my boyfriend or my potential hubby? *Laughs*

You know, the kind of budding love that can make your whole life a little bit more exciting romantically? Maybe after being on two long term relationships that didn't last, my excited mojo just died after the recent ex-boyfriend i bide adieu to.

So now, most dates i have been with are due to reasons. They are decent and nice guys who makes me smile.

But is the decency and the nice feeling of smiles worth it to settle compared to being in an up and down roller coaster ride with tons of real love and affection? I don't know much now, but hey, when i get a real answer then i shall thread back to this topic.

Lately, i have suitors who have been asking me out but i'm not saying straight 'yes' to them, with one suitor last month has been given the boot because he reminded me of why i dislike being in a relationship. So what if i date a lot and i get reminded why i dislike being in relationship again. Then what happens?

I'm therefore looking for a guy who makes me see why i preserve and fight to be in a relationship. Even my last relationship of 3 years didn't really put me rooted to the ground. I couldn't find the reason to stay most of the time due to the hurt i felt which he caused, and due to the hurt I give him which i'm guilty about.

In any case, i realize i lost my fighting spirit and the need to hold on to a relationship after my 'first love' spoiled me. I don't know why for him, i stood standing for years. I held on, i persevere, i didn't say goodbye, and i fully compromise. We ended cos of huge miscommunication and misunderstanding. After him, my next relationship started half hearted, but proved to be the longest and most trying one. I loved the guy but the hurt made me all the more uncertain how to hold on to that relationship. but for the 'first love', it's like a different language of love altogether. Maybe it's true the saying 'First love never dies'.

& now it's funny how after 5 years, were back in contact and i found out some things during some times spent that i was really surprised about. I didn't really know how to take it to my hands, so i rode the waves. But then i eventually cannot find the reason to linger...

So i float.

I'm now seeing this guy lately. We met at one of my favorite club joints. I don't usually like seeing guys i meet at clubs but he's different. He dance and he's very respectful. I guess he's one of the guys who goes clubbing just to dance and enjoy, instead of the typical.

We're at the moment friends, with the benefits like those who date - head out for dinner, chill out, hugs, kiss, hold hands - but with no commitments, or even talks of such. The last talk we had was we found out that we 'like being single' and that's that.

There's just an aspect that makes him really different - he respects. So all the warmth and care i get from him, they're all full of respect, full of 'if this makes her happy, it's enough' kinda respect.

There's no force, no expectations, no hopes... Just fun and company.

---
However, if there is that one guy who still seem to make my heart beat so fast, it's *him* despite the many volumes of my love stories. And i can never understand why...

Maybe cos "It was only just a ..."

God spoke to me!

Mark 1:14-20

After John was arrested, Jesus went into Galilee and began preaching the Good News of God. He said, "The time has come; the kingdom of God is at hand. Change your ways as believe the Good News."

As Jesus was walking along the shore of Lake Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Ndeew casting a net in the lake for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you fish for people." At once, they left their nets and followed him. Jesus went a little farther on and saw James and John, the son of Zebedee; they were in their boat mending their nets. Immediately, Jesus called them and they followed him, leaving their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men.

Sermon highlight:

To immediately leave everything behind to follow Jesus is ideal; in reality, our following of Jesus happens in stages. We receive the call, we follow, and yet we also return to our former way of life. Then, the call comes again and once again we respond to follow Jesus is not something we do once and for all, but ab on-going process, life our life. Following of Jesus is not static. It is not a goal but a process.

This sermon highlight made me cry for it has totally spoken to me. And it is only in my heart did I sound my doubts and fears in what if I stray back to my old ways, of frivolous enjoyment - drinking, smoking, night life and forget Him.

As of, my weekends hold great happenings in the social sphere, but I'm always afraid what might happen to my religious life, will I lose God's calling.

And so with this, I totally understood that God doesn't hinder me. He is the premium addition to a much controlled enjoyment.

Thank God. I was not worthy of His message, comfort and love, but He heals me when my burdens grow heavy. He heals me and I'm able to receive Him.

Amen.





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First Wknd of the New Year

It's Friday night!

People like me will be out partying on premium invites to one of the hottest clubs around, sipping free drinks, heading to the dance floor and be the life of the party. And then meeting other people who also fly in the same flock just having fun, passing the night away.

Even the transport back home is taken care of. Safely, and clean. No dirty business because you know you can pay whoever and whatever just to make sure you're safe home.

Yeah, but that was half a decade ago.

Now, in short my Friday has become more meaningful over the years :)

And also, it means I'm not well off (brat) anymore, nor fly with the 'cool' and 'live for the moment' people anymore. Which then becomes either a gain or a loss - to me a loss is a gain - subjected to your own mindset.

I don't fit with them anymore, the ladies who spend their life on parties, and men who's just living it out for the moment.

I think I outgrew the whole idea of being a party animal but that doesn't go to say that I don't have fun anymore.

Of course, I also cut down being in the limelight, what with me being off dance for quite a bit. Usually, what makes me the life of the party is that I become the only girl who can battle and win, even getting free drinks as a form of applause from the ones I bit.

Well well, bidding adieu to that party memory now.

I have my own party ways as it is. Not so frivolous, yet not so rigid either :)


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Back to work

So I took leave from 23 Dec to 4 Jan, to spend Christmas and New Year away from office.

I wanted to travel out to some undecided destination, have an adventure, maybe meet someone interesting and stay interestedly distracted for some time.

But two group of people interfere, and One Divine Will told me I shouldn't go out of the country. So I listened and I stayed, and eventually as I looked back, it was really for the best.

I got to spend time with my siblings, bestfriend, cousins and of course take a rain check on everything I need to do to better my financial securities and personal relationships.

It was only my second day at work, and I was already looking forward to the weekend. Honestly, work felt like an ocean these past days as I keep swimming and the land in the horizon is still rather far.

However, as the day ends I know that I've only left one more day to bid adieu to my frivolous lifestyle and holiday feeling. It's about time I straighten up and get to work as the second week of the new year enters.

Thank God for the Divine assistance he's been giving me because despite my distracted and holiday mood still majorly present, I still manage to ascertain my job well done with my boss giving positive feedbacks at my supposed second-standard works :)

I badly want the Marketing Supervisor title already, and a pay raise because I cannot be left stagnant in my current pay and title when I know I deserve an acceleration.

Employee appraisal has been held, and I await good news by end of this month.

Pray and wish me well.

God bless!




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A New Year!

Wow.

As i checked my last post, i am very ashamed how i have abandoned this blog.
I love writing and yet, i haven't updated much about the happenings of my life since July's post regarding my 2 months being single.

Well, as it is the butterfly ring had more in store for me.

You see in the past, old wives tale, even my parish priest, Fr Albert, says that butterflies symbolizes spirits of the dead. In this case, it symbolizes my grandmother.

Shortly a few weeks later, my grandmother fell ill and eventually the sickness, which was rather minor, took her away from me.

Regrets and complete heartache befell me.

I had already planned my trip to Vietnam by July 30, booked and paid for my 4d3n stay in Ho Chi Mihn City during my birthday week on 21-24 as i took a one week leave.

I don't think i really took the seriously the situation of my grandmother, i never even fathom that my grandmother will leave me one day, and never at all did i see nor feel this coming.

I usually do when something bad will happen. But this couldn't have been bad i guess, because it never went on my 'something bad will happen' radar. I actually took to heart more the pain of having lost my 3year boyfriend, because i know it's already going, gone, gone. The only moment it felt real was when I went back home in the midnight with my mother and sister with bloodshot eyes crying.

I cannot believe she was really gone.

My world was definitely 100x crushed comparatively to having broken up with my 3 year bf.
Because i know i can never hear or speak with her again. Never.

So anyway, i eventually flew to Philippines to take care of her burial rites and everything.
I'm blessed to be the one to be functioning still, to take care of everything. Although it was hurting like an intentional cut of the knife on the flesh, i still had to be the one to arrange it all.

My grandfather and I.

Well, i guess we both are the ones who had the most regrets in life pertaining to her so it's only just right that we help each other redeem our conscience.

Another aspect of my life in 2010 that becomes a highlight was that only at the loss of my grandmother did i realize that I don't know much about Catholicism, nor any type of religion at all. It also awakened my age-long question of religion. I have been caught in between two religions for the past 13 years & so here i am, already decided.

I embraced my faith as a Christian again. To affirm the calling, i was called to join a 4 day Parish Renewal Experience (PRE).

Laura joined with me and we took a journey to renew our faith together. As it is, we are serving still, under the Youth Ministry. I took another responsibility under the Charismatic Prayer Community in IT assisting in the powerpoint slides coordination. In the Charismatic group, i never fail to actually remember that granny must be happy i'm following her footsteps, serving in church.

These are one of the things that i promised to her at the foot of her grave. She is the only pillar of Christianity in my cradle Catholic family, and i guess she has chosen me to follow where she left off.

I felt really good about everything as i embraced my faith. No longer do i rely on my own wisdom, knowledge, strength, or positivity. No longer do i get exhausted chanting in the morning, "Today is a new day!" with no form of divine request of assistance. No longer do i rely on my own will. I feel like I'm backed up by faith.

Faith in oneself is nothing compared to having faith in God - because i have always had and relied on self-faith, and so i know the difference.

The only thing that eventually still poke at my scars is the loss of grandmother.

As months passed, i decided to completely forgive and forget the hurt i felt with regards to my recent ex. I hated him, but i guess i can never ask for God's love if i have hatred in my heart. So i removed all the hate i have had about him, then i uncover the amount of love still present for him.

I decided to fight for it.

Then again, i was 7 months too late.

It was me who wanted to end it, it was me who pushed it all away, it was me who rejected him, and so eventually he saw no reason anymore not even the love he felt for me, just because he feels that I've already ruined the view of his family and friends on me, by the amount of hurt he has incurred.

Well, the only defense i had for that was that i know that his family and new/old set of friends also knew that i was someone he was totally happy with. And all the hurt he incurred was self-inflicted because it was not even half the pain i incurred from him. Nevertheless, he's a good man. Just maybe, not the one for me.

So here in 2011, he doesn't seem as if he existed besides the fact that i recall great moments still. Esp some traces of memory at my place, and places we usually hang at. But someone's presence actually makes everything of him seems distant.

I am full of question actually, as to why of all people, he's still the one who can console me from deep within.
It's like his very presence in my life becomes the antidote to my heartache - without even trying, without even the full force of comforting.

But there's always something i'm afraid of about him.
All this times apart... How can it actually still be possible?

--------

With our eyes closed, we go on with the pretense that we know nothing.
But language of flesh did the talking, the momentum of things started.
And yet it has to stop... before more things occur.
I now stand aware, how things are still there left to bare.

--------

I said to myself and to everyone before, never again. Never ever will this thing occur.... and yet it even to the minute scale of it, something did, and as i can see if we, or i, don't fight it, it will continue.... on and on and on and on till it's too late to drop it and go.