Songs

Songs is an art derived from the emotions. The words from the songs which we so often missed are some of the most beautiful art that could even surface from the elaboration of our emotions.

<3


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To the point of breakage

I'm strong and I know what I want and need now. What breaks me apart is the thought that he's not going to be a part of me anymore.

He had grown into me as much as I have into him.

It breaks me.

But this might be for the best.

It is and for the sakes of our happiness individually, I guess this is it.

I don't think I'm the cut at the other line of his soul and heart.
I don't feel that im the perfectly imperfect soulmate meant for him.

Idealistic as it sounds, I know that we all have that one person who will never be perfect to the eyes of everyone, but it's the feeling of acceptance that you know they are the perfect one for you...

Love is not about the general definition anyone else can form about, it's about how the couple make it according to their own ways/rules etc.

I still love him and I won't regret having him a part of me. I don't deny it. But as long as he don't acknowledge all the good things I did for him or own up to all the mistakes he did to me and our past rship, he'll never have the complete happiness he seeks, even with other women.

I know what he wants and what he seeks(or at least I used to), I can give that to him but not till he don't grow his own backbone and form his own needs and wants according to his own heart, away from influences whatever - As an individual, not as a race, a representative of a community.

As it is the phase of acceptance that were over is coming through.

I wish him well and my sincere apology I can't act as a friend cos I still have thoughts that we could make it perfect but it will definitely take a miracle.

And miracles don't happen in real love and life. At least not like this... It takes years of building the character that fits each other.

I'm still young and I know what I want and need... I always work hard to achieve it.

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The Love

I never thought it would turn out back to the end again. I thought of all the mistakes I did that contributed to our failures, accepted them and forgave myself, thus being able to apologize wholeheartedly to the one I have hurt.

Despite not doing the initial attack, it seems that my defense was so strong that the attacker fell back and having an injured pride resorted to hiding and as I seek him n held out my hand, after licking my wounds, he refuse to take my hand.

I found myself cheated. How come I could still see the importance and the affection, of the good things he has done, and in turn, he couldn't do so for all the things I did for him.

I did no unforgivable sin that requires such a response. I could think of all the reasons that can get me to go from years ago and never come back, so I feel cheated again, why doesn't that matter when I think of the love I have for him and I can still always come back and love him wholeheartedly?

How come I can come out as the culprit and not even given credit for all the things I sacrificed and did all this times?How come things have to be so complicated with my changing the status of my facebook relationship to complicated, and with that it becomes the basis of decision for the one who claims to love me completely, and ironically and sadly one who is the reason why I found our relationship complicated thus the change.

This is not a badmouth post about my former other half. This is about my feelings. I keep asking myself what did I do to deserve such a response or a retaliation.

In any relationship, specially a failed one, is never contributed by one person. Such is rare and never happens when both person testified of loving each other.

I feel cheated that despite it all, i can sit down and think of all the reasons I may hv contributed to the failure of the relationship, admit it and learn to destroy it.

How come it seems that all this time I'm the only one who was prepared to be true to myself and to come to reality. It helps, to really see what you did wrong, and admit it. It may not do anything to change what has happened, if it completely is over, but it makes you a stronger and much wiser person in the end.

But of couse, it doesn't mean that u admit your mistakes or even take the blames or swallow the wrongs that your other half did and take it as your fault, no that don't cut it cos your not being honest to yourself in the end, and instead of having enough strength to kill your own demon, you find youself haunted by the demon of your other half too.. No not good. It shouldn't happen that way.

If your other half cannot take his own faults in and swallow it and accept it, you will find your relationship alrdy dead - soon you will get the smell of death, a sign that it's too late.

I'm going to mourn this passing of a great love. Well, at least to me it was a great love, worth enough to choose it over anything, and taking the leap of faith instead of letting fear cave me in. This is how I love, and it ended jus 2months before we could enjoy our 36th month.

Well, this is know - I will have to find someone who will love me for me, completely and who gives me the credit I deserve. He will come. I won't give up on love just because of a huge failure - no one should.

And I'm wishing he will find the fit he's looking for, cos all this time, I nvr felt it was me...

"The real way to measure love is to measure how much hate you felt but turn it to love effortlessly." - M Jean