PICTURES | =))

what i recentlydid...
I LOVE YOU DARLING!
we need to study soon, tests coming up next week ready.

the reasons why sons are very dangerous...



SUI! MODELS.. lol
CEO ZhiWang, Marketting AM Calvin, Operations AM Jean(ME!)

sheesh! dont know why i must take this pic... lol

Goofing around. CEO crazy ready!

CEO and DCEO siao ready. must send em to IMH

Merchandising AM Quennie, Operations AM Jean! =))

what the hell.. so constipated..

In Class just now! =))

The faci that NAT hates. and the dude in class i dislike! OPENLY!
**its that guy in the middle back. uggh**

This is what they are looking at... sorry NAT's grp! i think i kinda shoot you down.
bang bang! =)) muahs!

Apathetic

the earlier poem i made
seems to be contradicting me
i feel like i want to let it burn
but a part of me wanna try again

im too indecisive when im hurt
when im slumber lacking
and when i know im right
with my fault admitted

emotions rush to me
something that i cant help
something i wont seem to handle
even if i can id just let this hurt be

nothing seems correct right now
someone says to give him a chance
another says to let it die
but i dont know

at least not now
at least not yet
maybe tomorrow id know
maybe tomorrow id see the answer

so for now
hold tight
and enjoy my emo days
like you've seen my happy ways

updates.

i woke up to the sound of thunder in the late late morning.

ignored it for awhile and then someone called.
she told me to tell my mother that the masseuse will be coming at 1pm.

then i realized it was my aunt so i drag myself off the bed.
such a sleepy pig i am!
so i went to the mum's room, saw Haizak (the malay spelling for the most argued name since ever - Isaac)

he was such an angel and every time i come to him, he smiles.
my presence i felt is very distinguished to him.
he didn't only smile once or twice. he smiled A LOT of times.

my exhaustion left me instantly.
it was like a boost in the system that i can only feel in that weird special way.
my brother... my dearest youngest sibling.

so seeing my lively manner, mum asked me to send off my sister.
i was goofy just now. then came the aftermath of the night.

now im too tired to even psycho myself to get off the bed.
all im able to do is to type away, listen to songs and plainly just pig around.

i must say, my room of this late has been one like a pig sty.
very very much awful to the eyes. i cannot stand it anymore.
i will have to just do the cleaning after bathing.

which goes to say that i official stink of booze, cigarettes and whichever
unwanted smell there was in the club all clinging onto my skin.
to think about it, i am showing signs of barfing...
im horrible sometimes! call myself a young lady. uggh
i think im worst than the boyfriend. hehe

anyway, last night was fun but as a whole, not very much what i expected.
*sobs* i was utterly disappointed how the night went along.
but to come to think about it, the night itself was testing my resistance.
of which i must admit here that i was so tempted.

then again, there is someone who's holding me back =)
desperate idiots who wants pussy so bad would just come around and touch you.
not even keeping to their zone of comfort.

it's a club yes, but i still believe that when the girl is not inviting anyone to her,
those dudes should keep away. dont ya'll agree?

i was tipsy but not enough to let down my guard.
then it wore off cos i feel that Laura needed me to stay sober.
she was gone - totally

in here i wont say what happened.
she was so high i dont even think she remembered what she did.
i am not into judging people, let alone my friends.

on another hand, i learnt what it means by why boyfriends dont let their girlfriends
visit those nightlife areas. unless of course the girlfriend is me...
haha okay. self praises is not allowed here for now.
i feel that i am very proud of myself, of which something i have already informed the boyfriend. lol

i hope that if he even visit the club, no matter with his brother or whoever, he keeps to himself.
look, see but no touching. that's the rule of boundary at the minimal for boyfriends.

you can trust girls but never the guys.
it sound very sexist but i must say that guys are just guys and very much human.
im not saying that all girls are good and prissy but im applying it to the majority of the wrong doers- guys. lol
gosh im sexist. no guys dont take it the wrong way.

im just saying that guys are capable of a lot of things.
especially when it comes to places where loose pussy are available.
why say this? because women has been the source of conflict in the world of man.

look at what happened to the great city of Troy.
The great emperor of rome, Julius Caesar.
the great general of rome, Anthony.

ALL SEDUCED AND RUINED BY WOMEN.

it has all been this way ever since Adam and Eve's time.
most conflict are resulted by women.
we, women are meant to be kept and treasure by one only.

being a person who cannot pass off as a saint, i admit to own wrongdoings myself.
because i wanted to test my power over certain dudes, i guess i didn't even realize that
the attention im getting are from guys who themselves are 'happily attached'

i have bad experience of being the third party before.
and i vowed never to fall under that again.
i am turning over a new leaf. actually i have been for the past months.

only now it's maximize cos someone said to me that i have him to hold on for.
and that no matter if we work out or not, only at that time we'll know.
and to you, i thank you.

well then lets get back to the updates for last night.
nothing special really.
i saw people who i know..

at CM - cheeky monkey - i saw someone who told me not to say i saw her there cos her bf doesnt know. lol hehe naughty girl...
at MOS i saw the long lost best guy sister, Jasvender...
he was still looking BIG as ever. bouncying and all.
so nice to see him after like months and months.

After some nice semi sober time at MOS we went to Gotham penthouse.
the source of Laura's 'downfall'... lol
then this i have to tell boyfriend later when we have longer time to talk.
AT GOTHAM : there were Whites and Hispanic dudes doing some performance.
and they were stripping up. showing hints of Man G-strings.

hot hot hot... noting to self : look but dont touch. hahaha
this is the way Gotham treat their ladies in the house.

it was fun all through till the ending time. twas irritatingly and horribly hilarious.
Laura was blabbering nonsense.
Jas was shaking his head.
Laura's boyfriend came down to pick her up. sounds kinda pissed...
wish them all the best...
on the phone, he told me to send her to his place and so i did.

the cabfare was major bomb! but it was expected.
good thang i have my cards. if not id have to seduce the driver to let me go. lol
okay just kidding... uggh id rather seduce the boyfriend.
hahaha

so in the midst of all the hype and the disgusting ways of clubbing.
the camwhore in me reigns strong!
so here are pictures!!!! hehe

and one video at GOTHAM. lol

On the way to Clarke Q - cab


ATTICA drinks - Cosmopolitan - i swear it did something to my system.
Cosmo did something to our system. came out of Attica a lil bonkers.

Now at CM a bit bonkers...
To MOS
Laura Ashley...
Aren't I great in photography?
Some peeps we made conversations with. took their pics and we left.
retarded pics lah. haha
okay. this is cos im tipsy. haha
The lady with the sash is having her Bachelorette Party at Gotham. haha. Happy wedding!!
then THE PATRON of tequila served us REAL tequila FREE. just to do what?
TAKE HIS PICTURE. and us drinking it. uggh talk about retardations.
wasted Laura hate tequila. but i was tipsy enough so after i sip, i didnt take anymore.

then now see what happened abt the tequila. haha.this is on purpose okay.
not lesbian when im tipsy.
this one is totally FREAKY!!!
i was too tired to open my eyes. plus the FLASH was horribly bright!
one..
two, three... wheeee!!

this is what frustration and alcohol to do me.. horrible picture ever.good photography? hehe

last but not least. the most retarded picture ever.
it's kinda obscene and if boyfriend complains, im taking it down..

THE BOYFRIEND HAS PASS HIS JUDGMENT
HE SAYS TO PUT THIS PICTURE DOWN.
&he says i look like a stripper

and so the night ended.

i hope it will be better next week.
and i hope the boyfriend can go too =))

=))

yesterday i was totally not in the mood, in anything that is.
the only apparent mood i was in was either im too happy or im too quiet - if u call that moods...

i only remember laughing madly or shutting up entirely.
shen should know! haha i wasnt in the mood for anything.
yesterday in class was hilarious tho, i was team up with the couple (vans and yihao), sahidah and nisha. we made quite a lot of noise talking about which ghost should represent which.
apparently i got the breast ghost - hantu tetek.
it's quite the contrary tho, i have big and juicy ass, not breast. im only a B-cup and they call me hantu tetek? retardation.
so nisha as usual get the calling pontianak, sahidah was the chinese vampire, yihao is the pocong and vanessa is toyol - i know... i dont kno what i was doing really

(this makes me happy too)

the mood of happiness or basically just outburst of laughter irritated even myself.
i wonder how Shen stand these moods im getting. it's retarded.
anyhoo, i had some talk with him.
apparently, boys out there who have been trying to figure me out can go to Shen to ask any queries - he's working double shift digging in me deeper =))
apparently, he wants to know 'this girl i ....' i shall leave the dots a mystery
okayy. absolute as it may seem, i am feeling rather emotional.
i think, yes, that's the word, emotional.
over what? nothing. it's the damn period
moody before the period, normal during the period and anger outburst after the period.
OMG shen is so going to suffer...

shen and i are somewhere in the line of friends and more...
we are still on that path. we are having fun and i guess id know if we'll ever really happen.
if im still feeling as if we are not, it would be up to him to make me feel as such.
so far we are really good on communicating what we feel and how we see things.
i admire people who are independent - at least those who are somewhere there.. - cos for nuts, im not independent really. that's a good thing about being a girl
anyhoo, yesterday when shen sent me to the bus interchange, we saw his classmates.
i so wanted to run and hide. haha i mean i dont think it should be fair to us being found out when we are still "on the way"
i have nothing against our closer friends knowing about us and all.
my readers basically wont know who the hell im talking about anymore. only some here...
RP readers should just keep a close watch if you're really that psychotic to know.
but please dont link me to some strange retard. haha

okayy. today was quite fun too.
ALIENS ARE INVADING!


- we have two days to inform the whole world about it.
how and what to do? this is the most retarded communication topic that is brought up ever. haha
my team did fine. not the best but it dont really matter, we conveyed and stood our grounds rather well =))

was with shen most of the time. i didnt see jan today tho =((
cos he left me in the morning and we didnt meet for lunch - went with Shen.
i know, it's like Shen, Shen, Shen... what can i do?
well, ive been spending and talking to him most of the time.
apparently he's gathering information about me and my character. i told him to make a book out of it. haha
okayy. after school today, met him again and went to his hostel and hung out with this friends. uggh his dorm totally is GUYS DORM - it's awful!
only one of the guys' BED AREA is clean!

okay whatever it was. we spend like 45 mins being together and ended up getting late for both our other commitments!
and and i gave him BUTTERFLY KISSES.


i like those kisses a lot and uggh however, whenever i think of that, i remember giving it to daryl. stop stop stop. brainwash
but however, Shen didn't get the REAL butterfly kiss i always give my bfs..
recalling: i dont think i gave one to ivan tho...
okayy whatever... it dont matter..

so today went for emcee meeting. yay! =))
we are going to be handed out events to host. it really is cool.
however, it so totally make me sooo packed this holiday.

3 weeks = 21 days
class chalet - at least 2 day 1 night
weblog camp - 3 days
2-4 days of workshops - journalism & emcee-ing
so far, that's 11 days gone and more to come...

today at emcee meeting it got me thinking of doing a podcast.
anyone has any ideas to do on? something that you think i can pull off?
dont ask me to do comedy. it'll will suck. =D

emcee meeting was like too fast and too long...
fast cos i was 10mins late. missed the introduction part. uggh wasted.
also, it was a bad first second impression.lol
then it was long because i was suppose to meet Yan - has been waiting for like 45mins or so
gosh. so he fetched me and we went to seafood place at tampines.
been long since i been there.
well, my bums hurt due to the travel there on the motor, it has been like months and months that i ride it.
miss going riding with my dear ling. haiz...
and of course i do miss my good ol' biker friends.. =((

okay anyhooo... i have to go.
im lacking sleep... but school is fun as usual.
however before i end my day today.
i want to do an advance greeting -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR FREN, YIHAO

best wishes...

goodnight....

pictures and updates.

boo hoo! im sick again.
this is sooo crappy.
anyway, i just want to post the newest and retarded pics that jan has taken for me.

so jan is getting cockier. his ideas, not mine.

just after i kinda stop having a runny nose.

random.

this is where jan screamed the loudest when a moth flew to his face.

well, like i said, not my idea.

me and jan, and, me and shen, has talked about our free times.
Shen and i are getting along fine. nothing much. but im happy that my friends find it alright... have heard of mira's opinion... nurul too, in a way, as well as hidayah and mei ling. hajar, not yet really.
but just want to reassure you my ladies, that everything is under control.
i know i know... =))
last night we did have a talk somehow and i did tell him more about my thinking.
i hope he's cleared. he too has voiced his opinion =))
it was good.
so for now, nothing to worry about.
also, our situation is very much based on spontaneity.
whatever happens, happens... que sera sera...
plus, our situation is very much under control.
nothing really special yet.

also, i must say that the past with that bastard is very much still coming forth in my head.
of which and from which i dont know how why and how.
it gets irritating sometimes.
it is a good thing that Shen is soo different from him.
kinda make me more happy.
imagine me having crushes on people who is like that bastard.
*fine id drop the bastard - i'll call him by his name; daryl.

okay, i wanna go.
im dying to rest again...
hope to see Shen tmr tho... see how it goes =))
oh and he just message!
toodles.

fun fun fun

it was a night of whistles, cheers, clappers, shouts and republican enjoyment.
the night of the Official Opening ceremony was something that i didn't think
i will go crazy over.
but after experiencing it, i am GLAD i attended the event and saw different versions of the people i see in school daily.
which goes to say, i finally saw the cute ones. hehe

no but that wasn't the main event.
today, PM Lee visited my school and he was the Guest-of-honor to start off the whole OPENING event.
after which, the JUMP party started and it was totally dissed.
why?
because the singer from this japanese band was totally screaming - not singing - i repeat
screaming with her coarse voice.
i admire her guts but she was totally too much.
i knew too well that she would give those 'uber-disgusting' versions of songs.
HOW?
THE DAMN FIRST YEAR ORIENTATION we were greeted by her singing.
imagine the shock - im glad that they even let her have the stage.
okay enough - jean your such a bitch - im sorry i dont mean to really critique - im being honest *smiles*

anyway, we (me and jan) realized that those who can sing uber nice are hidden/hiding and those who suck throughout are the one who are so 'out-there'
i dont understand this, i dont think i'd even do

well, lets move on and along now.
as the night continue after welcoming the PM, everyone was really joyful.
the last 'booth' of the PM's visit the most remarkable one.
everyone gave him a warm welcome - and so did the RUGBY team.
they are super hawt, i got to admit.
erms, kinda got to know this rugby guy.
yes yes, i asked his name - then you ask if i ask his number? - NO
i cant help to ask his name, he's just - well - captivating.
his eyes are lovely - *melts*
it so happens that we go to the same building just that at different levels.

okay, hush now.
well, the night went on and oh ya!
there were magic shows - from the Magic IG
then i got to know this magician - matthew - he's good.
so he did for me this trick and then he told me to remember him by it.
and so i will dude =)
you guys rock! hehe

there were a lot of people i missed out i hanging out with, we were all busy with our other friends.
some were like lost in the crowd, some were eating the buffet.
it was really cool and then i hung out with jan.
jan came to fetch me with sharlene.

[gluttony moment]
me and jan went to pastamania for lunch
we were so full that we couldnt walk back to school
so we decided to cab back - talk about being fat and lazy.
[exit]

hmms anyway, i realize that i really do adore my school.
also, im starting to see how fun it really is.
so RP you rock!
so sad my ABC weren't able to make it.


anyway, i have to run.
tata

these few days

hello!
so far so good.

so thursday i didn't go to school.
need a damn break from seeing that stupid facilitator.
he marked me C and D these two weeks.
so i realize i need to be positive and move away from seeing his face at least for the last week.
after this, i cant skip his module already.
my aim now - to get A to pull my predicted grade up.
i love computing but i totally hate it when he's covering maths.

haha.
okay, leave that irritating topic about some facilitator.
=)) thursday night i met the ABC members.
lol
then we all watched movie - Alone
thai movie about twins and all.
fucking thriller - okay, scary.
for sucha long time, thursday was the first time for so long that i went mad screaming.
and it wasn't just from the movie, it was cos sandy shocked me.

[irritating moment]
i was finding them when i reached at PS.
so cody called me.
fucking shit he keep saying, "relax, relax. dont panic"
when i wasn't even panicking.
when i wanted to talk, he keep saying that. irritate the hell out of me only.
plus, i cant seem to find them. the say the main road - THERE'S TWO.
haha. wtf lor.
[exit]

so to continue.
HIGHLIGHT.
DO NOT BUY NACHOS FROM THE CATHAY CINEMA.
UNLESS YOU'RE NOT EATING THE CHEESE.
IT SUCK!

anyway, i was stuck in between madness.
madness 1 - sandy. (she's the most scared one she'll end up scaring you)
madness 2- cody. (you can't scream properly. he keep laughing)
vanessa and yihao minding their own business.
at least they can hide among each other - they are together.
so end up, i will 'hide on' sandy, then end up moving to cody.
she scream like shit lah!
as if she scream, the ghost wont come out liddat.
lol
she was covering her ears - remind me of hidayah.
haha. then later on cody covered his eyes - hajar
i was as always covering my mouth.
see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
(correct or not ah?) hmms
lol
a bit retarded can!
there's one part, i dropped something.
then i whispered to cody "umm i dropped something"
then he say "okay okay dont panic,i have light"
i was like thinking - okay there's something wrong with him.
i cant stand him saying "relax dont panic"
it makes me more panicky. lol

cody, yihao and me wanted to join my friends to party after the movie.
but then yihao want to send vanessa.
cody was dry already.
i was thinking of school tomorrow.
so all of us went home.

then yesterday,
i got stuck at causeway point.
i went to use the ladies, so i was en route to other places as the only toilet was not in use.
damn lah - i swear im not going there in the early morning anymore.
everything was shut! imagine the panic i felt. uggh.
all because of cody and sandy.
both late, then have to wait for them. lol
not that i want to - we have to. haha
vanessa wanted to wait for him so okay lor, wait then.

[it just hit me]
i spoke so much singlish these days
lol
[exit]

and now, saturday.
IM GOING TO BE HOME ALL DAY.
YAY!!
im so going to sleep like mad.

okay, bye.

hugs
loves
kisses

UPDATES on me

there have been a lot that happened since my last proper posts.
from the "old" news to the latest...

1. THERE'S A BITCH in the class
2. **Mr X - thank you for at being at the least REAL to me.
3. Missing my darlings like totally - when can be meet up again? =(
4. Credits goes to Roz for being my movie buddy! =)) so what's the next movie?
5. Dilemma between Staying and Going
6. Story about the ex? - more like a gossip. uhh..

**not his real name. like duh...

1. About the bitch.
I do not revel in discriminating people,talking lowly about them nor even having 'supporters' against them.
I like being forward through my actions and then my words because i do not judge their deed at a point of days.
I scrutinize them and then so when my actions soured like almost 'forever' and they are still being like that - they better wear armor when i starting shooting at them
But i do this all for the sake of being a good person.
Why not shoot when they are the one who loaded the gun of mistakes?
Some keep quiet and eventually shoot themselves instead of pouring those 'bullets' on the culprits.
WHY? because they are too gutless to go on and do so...
Anyway, i really have enough of these nonsense in the class. I have enough of know-it-all about me, judging, hating and also being so psychotic about me.
Enough is enough! The next semester, you cant see me anymore anyway so just hold you tongue. One way or another you're at the losing end.
I happen to find out things about you - even from those people whom you thought are with you.
Maybe yes, you turned some of them against me.
But i guess those who dislikes you are the ones who has seen through you.
Your fake smiles and your fake innocence - whatever.
I USED TO SEE YOU AS A VERY INTELLECTUAL PERSON.
but then again, people do make mistakes - i know i did. so may GOD bless you ...

2. Mr X - what's his story
Well, i couldnt thank this person enough in being the one who saw my divergence due to the previous "event" that happened in class. Apparently, it was him to told me of that bitch's doings. And so his identity should be kept secret =)
Thanks mr x.

3. B.D.Q
YES all of you have been posting yet it isnt enough.
We are the ones who knew each other inside out, with clothes or not. hehe
So please dont waste this lasting quintet relationship that we have.
I know none of us have forgotten whatever, but we need to tighten up again.
Anyway, i have the news! hehe
IM STILL THE BEST YOU ALL EVER HAD - hehe
oh cmon, without me there's no quintet k. hehe
well, im missing you guys. so do be ready for a party... MY PARTY.
(remember what we did to Roxy a.k.a Hidayah?) Her birthday was wacked..
or should i say WET? hehe
so i decided i aint doing it anywhere near the sea, the pool, puddle, whatever... :P

4. MOVIE BUDDY
Im his pimp! hell yeah. Just that i havent done my job and place him in the girls area.
like how can i... almost all the girls i know ARE ATTACHED. i repeat, ATTACHED.
so how the hell am i suppose to do so unless when we all party in the club. hehe
but the issue? he doesnt like picking girls up from those places. hahahha
the good thing? he isnt in a rush to meet ladies. COOL so im just laying back relaxing, waiting...
so during the wait. instead of being pimp and pimpster - it's MOVIE BUDDY.
the JOB? I FIND THE MOVIE, HE MAKES SURE IT ALL GOES WELL. haha
cooly... anyway, bro Roz... thanks. ur like the closest thing to a bodyguard to me =)

5. Staying or Going.
KRABI, THAILAND - where the trip promises rejuvenation and a nice beach...
28th August - 30th August : SAME DUE PERIOD MY MUM IS IN =(
that's why im contemplating. the week of thinking is almost due!
dilemmas are sinful. we should not have them at all.
AND PLUS. IT'S AN EXPENSES PAID TRIP. so wanna grab the deal. =(
send ME A SIGN - to go or not to go.. hais

6. Gossiping the EX?
Yes, after such a long time, a friend decided to call me and told me about it.
I pity the ex and i just hope the best for him. But my pity has limitations.
I am glad he is getting a taste of his own medicine.
He knows now how it feels like when his girls wanna give him love and he pushes them away.
I thank that girl for being able to think about the consequences.
If she happens to really be expecting, it is a sad case that Daryl has no say whether to keep it or not.
I felt a stab at first. I could not imagine that the person i once cared for so much has landed himself in this pit.
His life is still whacked, he still cant find proper happiness.
It is evil of me to laugh about him to Jas. Then on second thought, i do sympathize.
He asks GOD for salvation, im told. But how can he be salvaged when he has hurt and took for granted a lot of girls.
Farah was one of them, Kristin was one of them, and at that certain point of our relationship, i was one of them...
I guess he cannot ask GOD to forgive him when he himself has not embraced his mistakes to the girls he caused so much hurt to.
I pity him yet i dont want to pity him. I have to think that he deserve this.
My anger was extinguished but it's aftermath is underrated.. or so it seems as of now
ONE ADVICE: GET BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE IN FAITH. MAYBE IT WILL HELP.

OMG i forgot to add in - to the BROTHERS and Cousin
i am so sorry if i havent been in touch with you all.
you were always there for me whenever i call on you. All are busy with your own things.
But i know that you will still remember me.
Salihin, Venga, Kumares, Puma... my walking 'towers'.
i remembered having people look at the girls with fear just cause you guys are walking beside us. haha that was nuts.
Prem, Ryan, Daniel... the jokers of all time
I rememebered laughing at all your damn jokes and whatever
Azmi kuz... you are the best cousin ever =)
AND THE OTHERS WHO I DID CALL ONCE AS BROTHERS.
you are all deeply appreciated.

TRANSFORMERS

watched TRANSFORMERS already.
like awesome! i didnt really expect to be blown away by it.
but what really crack me up was the part when the ROBOTS were like trying to
push themselves into hiding, even beneath the porches and all.
twas as if they were thinking they were small creatures of some sort.

and i was so touched by the loyalty and the courage that these characters portrayed.
like so totally awesome.
credits all to roz - hehe thanks for the treat. yey =))

well, while waiting in the cinema for the transformers to start, there were some preview
of the upcoming movies.
and i find that i so wanna watch em...

1. HARRY POTTER
2. STARDUST
3. DISTURBIA
4. BOURNE ULTIMATUM

A MUST WATCH!
Stories on the EX FLAMES is going to be POSTED at MISS JEAN (II) by next monday 16.7.07 - can be earlier... just look out for my announcement here. =))

take care.

hypo-bitch

tired from work - i hate being sickly really.
my health is really deteriorating.
i really want to do yoga now! or maybe that trip to Italy!
but like $60,000 worth of medical health insurance, for a short trip?
if i were millionaire then i would just so do it.

LEMME FEATURE A TOPIC: HYPOCRISY, BACKSTABBING, RUMORS, FOUL-MOUTHING

anyway... hypocrisy is so like high school - in this case secondary school and
RUMORS, uggh, that comes along with it.

so i decided to gather some words of advise to people who are being victimized by this.
actually there is a simple reason why people tend to be hypocrites...
there are the good and bad side of it. but i'd be talking of the bad here...

HYPOCRISY : Insincerity by virtue of pretending to have qualities or beliefs that you do not really have

most of us people are hypocrite in a good way. but also, a lot of us people are doing it the bad way.
(i wanna emphasize that this has nothing to do with the previous post. i have forgiven her.
we are friends AGAIN. i love her again- friendly speaking!)

this is some of them...
1. SPREADING TO OTHERS UNTRUTHFUL STUFF ABOUT SOMEONE
2. BEHAVING AS IF YOU ARE AN (GOD-DAMN-U) ANGEL IN FRONT OF OTHERS WHEN UR A DEMON-CHILD
3. YOU HAVE THE LOWEST SELF-ESTEEM
4. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE
5. WHEN YOUR INSECURITY LEVEL EATS YOU UP INSIDE OUT
6. WHEN U GOT NOTHING TO DO

anyway, there are people out there who are doing just about everything you did not expect them to do behind your back.
going at it about you just about to everyone who have ears that your this and that.
they dont care what time is it, where it is, how it is done... they just do it..
they feel that just by bad-mouthing you, they can make themselves feel satisfied about their own insecurities.
they feel that by the every downfall that they cause other people, they are elevated in the society.
it is like as if they really must go on about their victims and if they dont, they will just die.
not to forgetting to mention that these people are those who have something against you completely and the fact that they are the ones who do not know you.
they are the pretenders.
the ones who pretend to be your friends and when you think that they are likely to push it behind your backs, they just shoot you down from the back.
the only symptoms is that the people around you are the ones pulling away from you.
the other friends who are innocent minded and are easily instigated on are the ones who just sit there and takes in whatever this bad-mouther says.
they are what i call backless or should i just say spineless.
well, the only thing so spineless about this is that the spineless let these demonic shitheads to rule over their minds.
they let themselves be manipulated and therefore causing hurt to others even though they do not know the truth.
well, then again. i might be wrong.
maybe these spineless are the bitchers too. whatever...

but put this in mind people or victims:
this people spread rumors that are untrue about you when like all the time
because they see the things that they lack in you... whatever personality that you have that they want, those kinda things.
everything that comes out from their mouth is just their made up shit about you, because they are dying to blind people from seeing what you're really about.
so advises?

1. never stoop as low as they are willing to - uphold ur dignity
2. never be the one to be really affected - let them go at it about you, it's not true anw.
3. the most important advise - KEEP A HIGHER SELF-ESTEEM.

:) ive been bitched at. (accidentally or purposely) whatever, so i know how you people feel.
not just these previous days, but the last 18 years of my life, i know i have been bitched at.
so it dun really matter to me cos i know that the truth always come up.
just that if it dont and if matters come to worst, i handle them. HOW?

OH YOU'D BE SURPRISE.

so to whoever is fanatic about me, whether u are a potential or already an expert...
just go at it... just continue doing so... maybe u can add this

1. I AM THE B.I.T.C.H you can never be
2.I AM THE FOOL you cant fool
3.I AM THAT IDIOT who will be your salvation**

* TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY *

credits to you(u know you who are) =))

anyhoo, to you dear gal...
i hope that nothing of those things that happened previously will happen again k?
plus, uphold ur promise. this is the last time im forgiving you..
muahs.

updates

before i begin the updates, i would like to say

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY DEAR BLOGGY.
YAY!!

anniversary : june 15

so now, lemme fill ya with the updates.
but before you read on, there are things that i want to tell ya all first.

i was like in a dream-like state
not knowing if it was a dream or reality
of which i have to keep telling myself that it is real
and i wasnt dreaming

after that night, i came up with an advise:
being drunk and not knowing anything is a choice
and those who dont have a strong will to keep at least half sober,
ur in danger, esp fer girls.
people who are feeling down and who are too emotional about certain thing
will have trouble putting their guard up.
i can say this cos ive experience this.

1. club info - went with laura babe. whheeeees.

ok. I was REJECTED from O-bar and dbl-O, i was underage!!! i AM 19- for goodness sake and i felt soo underage. cos since like i-dunno-when-they-changed date, only aged 2o+ and above are allowed entry! gosh.
seriously, i was dejected. uugghhh! the last time i went dbl-O i was like allowed entry lah!
so anyway, we went to cheekys instead. yeps
they didnt even check my id or maybe they've seen me there before or whatever.
been long since ive been there and the crowds have changed.
i didnt see so many whites there anymore. ("i prefer blacks", says laura. hees)
for me, i prefer spanish/ italilians - hees.

so anyway at Cheekys, there were butches there and then THE WORST EYE CONTACT EVER was when this butch was like having this eye contact with me - like ugghh, im straight!!!
so i was just there drinking and drinking and drinking! danced only when hana came.
tho it's a sad thing that she has to go off early, she has sch the next day.
the songs there aint soo good, except for those a lil catchy rnb. love em
(i just have to say! the dj's cute - hees)
but i dun care, wasnt even into dancing there anyways,
and i dont think i danced tt much that night lah.
11.30pm, 13th june 2007 - I WAS ALREADY SEMI-DRUNK
gosh.
i should feel so after drinking 10 glasses of whiskey coke and 1 vodka.
then at mos, i drank 1 can of beer - gosh. IMAGINE i was lucky i was with good company and i still have my guard (semi) up.
but all i just wanted was to sleep. i remember fighting to that.

then so after cheeky's we went to mos.
it was freaking packed! it was retro night - so rnb was at smooth.
hmms then so we were at the main arena first. twas not the best really - but twas FUN
but at this time, i see people as if i was dreaming. like as if they werent real. lol
this feeling sucks to let ya'll know.
so like anyway, i think we all went to the second floor.
(oh i forgot to add, Zach and Laura's bro - shit i forgot his name!!! haha - met us before entering mos)
so like went to pure; gosh!!! i love the round sofas, lucky laura was holding me - i think id jump on em and just sleep.
i wanted nothing but to just sleep at that point.. uuggh!
okay, then we went to retro room and we stayed there for quite awhile- they bought more drinks
at this point i know i have to get myself together, cos laura babe is freaking high
then guess who we saw? KUMA - shim's soo pretty, she's really a pretty tranny
MUST-SEE PICS =))
we're like the only one she took with at that period. hehe ( yeah i love myself )
so later on, drank more - ugghhh the beer bellly!!!! ima have to abstain from drinkin!!!
yawwns. hmmms wat else - oh yeah.
went to smooth, the first time going in there, i felt like WTF! it's freaking full.
then the second time was worst, the damn bouncer was holding up people at the entry.
but i manage to squeeze in through till right at the door - hehe
mainly smiled at the boys so i got away with it (i soo love myself, conceited me - uggh)
then there were this two ladies at the entry too. so total there were me&laura, then the 2 of em
the bouncer is refusing entry!! goddamit!
i soo wanted to laugh really - one of em was like flirting with the bouncer- uggh so not cool
waiting for nuts, i asked the dude, why the hell is he holding up people.
then he gave the excuse that there were too many people in the room already... like duh.
everyone's looking for the rnb anyway. ahah
but then like after a few minutes of reasoning with him, he let me and laura enter! yay.
then the boys behind us also got in haha.
then ms laura wanted to dance with dudes. i was like tryna keep her to myself - sheesh
and i was successful, and also, i found a great place just near the bar.
there were more ladies at that side - and no butch! (ntg against em but at that point i was phobic)
so like me and laura were dancing away - the boys got soo closed then - so i stopped.
i turned and gave em the eye and good that they keep off - so not cool
(look but no touching man! - ya'll should know tt)
lol i shook it like i just dont care - make em go nuts - lol im sadistic
err fine, jean.. shut up! like so what. anyway, been long since i danced like that. hehe
but at least i was with laura - am more demure when im dancing with my guy frens. haha

okay so i saw him, then i turned away. i ignored him! so totally.
of all places he just have to keep walking up and down the place i was with laura.
so anyway, whenever i saw him, i turn away. when he saw me, he turn away. we're soo childish
then i dunno if it was soo meant to be or a freaking coincident, uggh.
so i was dancing rite, then my hands hit someone
then i looked up - uggh so happen to be him, i was like OOPPS. and he was like OOPS.
then he turned away, i turned away- minded my own business after tt
hahaha - i know i know. im retarded. i wanna see him but i still turn away.
what can i say? being ex lovers just spoiled it all. uggh

so anyways, we joined with laura's bro and zach outside mos, so i saw jas too( he was the bouncer outside)
then they were complaining that they didnt geta enter. then i told em, come with us.
they will definitely get to enter. ahaha.
so like we entered smooth again, danced fer awhile and then went out again.
and then outside, i had to act as laura's bro's girlfren, cos there was this gal laura was telling me about. err when i saw (yes, i just rmbred laura's bro's name : carl) hahaha.
so when i saw his ex gal that he wanted to make jealous, i was like..
"dude, you can like do sooo much better! like for real lah."
uuggh. anyways, i didnt really acted as his gal, more like stand beside him and that's all. ahaha
but anyways, awww he still love her... like ssoooo swwweeetttt. hahhaa
okay, so then we head home - tts all.

story done! and for shitty reason, pics cannot be uploading - bloggers fault
but i will upload is sooon...

p.s. sorry for the very late updates - was really busy lah. been resting and out.
now, im sick! ugghhh. so after this, i sooo want to sleep till tmr morn when im up fer sch!!!
yay school! at least i have things to do now.. rather than go out and spend money
i spent like $250 plus liddat since last friday. uggh
not counting last tuesday!! uugggh i hate myself sometimes. i need to save
OH YAY...
6 months from now - MAJOR TRIP TO THE PHIL AWESOM BEACH
so like me and jan are planning to stay there for a week, at my grands place for a week and then we separate to our own individual family - we are sooo gona get a car and fake license there! hahaha =))
anyways, ciaos for now, wanna slp.
good nights.
muahs

updates

so i woke up at almost 5pm.
as ive promised, ima update about those things ive listed =))

but before i start, ima realise that ive forgotten to say that FINALLY!
ive seen pirates of the caribbean, at world's end! with nisha... ehehe.
capt jack sparrow is ubber hawt.
ehehe - sorry naz, sorry as - i cant wait for you all lah.
as was waiting for me to sms him, but then i was waiting too, too bad lah :P

so Pirates rule! and as to those who knows, there will be another one i presume!
i mean like it's obvious that there will be another movie after this! cant wait.
i think the tittle should go ; Pirates Of the Caribbean Aqua De Vida - hehe.

but it's damn hilarious man - esp the part when the indian pirate lord sounded like a gay mouse!
his vooiice was sooo freaking uncalled for. lol
so like everyone burst out laughing - lol
and i have a say to those you said it was not nice, hehe
YOU GUYS ARE WRONG


OKAY.. so the updates

went for drinking session as i have posted in the previous entries.
cousin azmi and i were the initial people - guess where we drank?
i have never drunk in that kind of place before and i found that it isnt so bad -
cos everyone there were also drinking
where? at the old mac location, the new coffeeshop.
hahaahhaha. to those who knows me since duno when, i never drunk at coffeeshops and BEER.
well, except for once with cousin azmi and daryl - they were the ones drinking anw so yeahs.
so we had 3 or is it 4 bottles? i forgot. haha.
at first we were joined by barison and arwin - two otherguy frens
then their nights were cut off cos they were gonna have to meet their friends.
yawwns.

then cousin and i went home by around 3am or something?
had to do some reading fer him and all until i cant stand it, i was freaking woozy.
turned in like 5plus i think? haha
so then cousin woke me up at 830am plus.
then i went to bathe after he left - going for filming meeting
i was like a zombie walking around lah. tooo sleepy!
so anyways, cos of these cos of that, the meeting didnt happen.
poor alex was the only one there, and he called me saying no need to come, cos no one was there
gosh gosh

jan was sick.
ash was at relative's funeral.

i was only too lucky that it didnt happen.
i will be too tired to think, i think i'll die there.
haha

so yeahs.
anyways, clubbing is soo empty for me
i still aint feeling the mood to club.
maybe this friday then - jas' birthday. hehe
then this wednesday, im still thinking if i should go or not.
whatever lah.
ciaos for now - having relatives at home

:))