Some some

what is love to me now?
it is still something that makes me feel squirmy inside, but it is somewhat an irritant and a distraction.
it has begun itching me in the wrong form whatsoever.
not that i dont want to be in love anymore, but the thought of losing the person you start to care for the most will be just another passers-by in the street of life.
Life is to be enjoyed and to be led with much fulfilment and happiness.
We should be happy and not sad most of the time.
Tears fall no doubt but we should never ever let sorrow rule our heart and mind.
I have begun my quest for romance again after the 3 months break. I somehow have someone who can be there for me whenever i really call for company, that is if being with my friends is not enough. But it is, i am happier with my friends rather than sharing intimacy with another person. Intimacy breaks my wall and i really cannot bear to let my emotion run wild anymore.
Not after what happened to my relationship with Daryl. It will always be the same pattern for everyone. After i realise that all, really, everything do come to an end... even the love that have blossomed well whither and die due to some incidents because we humans get tired of doing the same thing over and over again... watering and building up the love that we feel for our other halves just gets too tiresome for most of us. The big mistake? We should not treat our love as flowers. But in reality, we always do... I did.
Love is a cultivated feeling, a friendship that we share with someone special that has evolve to something better.
Love should be well attended to. To me, i have a theory that there is that one person who we can really love and give ourselves fully, no matter how egoistic and cold we can be. There are that souls who are bounded to meet... yes, im talking about soulmates.
As they say, love has many imitations... Lust is one of them... as well as our blindness to the superficial thing... we humans can be such stupid creatures when it comes to love. even the most intelligent beings on earth can land themselves in a pit of insanity with LOVE.
I can say that even though i help solve other people's emotional and relationship problems, I can never really ever do so for myself.
I can you guys how to treat your lady and i can tell the ladies how to treat their man right.
I can tell a couple how to make their relationship last.
I can get a broken up couple to be friends again..
BUT NOT TO MYSELF. never ever to myself.

But ive learnt how to psycho myself.
Now, i have learnt to let things go easily.
And i have gotten rid of that hurt i felt against Daryl.
i have learnt to let go of the most special person in my life before.
But we can never be friends... he made that clear to me, even though he was the one who made me leave him.
I just sad that he dont want to be friends.
Sad that i can learn to forgive him but he cant...
But it's okay, my friendship's always here for him to accept anytime.
Also, i think im really starting to like hIM. shux!!
haha. but then im in a huge dilemma now.. shit shit....

-till next time-