something in mind

yesterday, i stayed home and all i did was clean up my room and then it stretched till night time.
then i felt so bored of cleaning that i went out jogging to clear my mind off things that i have thought of suddenly - my results!!! i mean no matter what my results will be i just hope that i can go to the choice of course that i want. cos if i dont do well for this exam, im flying off overseas, this is inevittable. haiz.

i dont want to leave this country and try to settle down at a country im not really ready for.
i have relatives there but i cannot be away from my mum and my sister. of course, my friends too...
but like i said over and over again, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. i cant pretty much do anything about the results that have been finalised. the moment the examination ended last year, it is already destined that i get the results according to how i did the paper. and tomorrow after 2.30pm shall i be able to foresee my destiny further. but i promise myself that i will be positive. it is funny that at this period of anxiety then people want to think of GOD. i mean i feel ashame even calling out for HIS help when i dont even really do so days and days before. i just hope that HE forgives me. whatever it is, i will try to be positive.

but if it is meant to be that i leave this country for another... of which im not really certain if i'd be going to live the rest of my life in the Philippines or my mum will be sending me to some other country... maybe Timbaktu. haha. nah... she's not soo harsh. but whatever it is, i have foreseen what i will get. it's just a matter of a few more hours to getting the results that i will know if what i have foreseen is not due to the desire that blocks my accurate guard feeling but because it is what as ive foreseen. i pray GOD be lenient. haiz.

anyways, to those people who share the same anxiety that i'm feeling, hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
wells, there are many things that we want to do with our life, there are many things that we want to accomplish in this life of ours. never let this chance be the obstacle of which you stumble on and fall, then never get up at all. i'm sure that even if we get the worst grade of all, we cannot just lay down there and let ourselves go down the pit of insanity. we will have to fight it and eventually, we will still succeed in life.
there are still many options for you people. and for me, if the option is that i go overseas, i just have to make the most of it.. click the refresh button and then start my life accordingly again... but this time, make it be much better as the previous one...

okay, i gtg get ready for work now...

p.s. to the UNKNOWN who wrote at my tagboard, thanks for the advise. but there are other things that im thinking now besides boys... i mean if it is meant to be, the answer should have been given last Sunday already. but apparently, i see it that it isnt meant to be. im sorree to him since that's the case. but he'll always be a friend to me. and i hope that his life is better than it has been lately.... (ok boi??)