don't know.

Last night watched THE DARK KNIGHT.
It was really great! "thats what you call a movie" - bf commented.
I agree! I must say that Height Ledger was a wonderful actor. too bad he has to die -.-
The Joker character was really very impressing. The best acted villain ever!
Bruce Wayne's character was all right, very weird with all the rough voice and all.
It's quite weird pertaining the plot but overall, the movie was breathtaking.
Also, we watched it at The Grand Cathay!
It was really very nice, the cinema i mean.
It looked like those Opera house.

After the movie, we headed towards the National Museum.
But we passed it... We wanted to have dinner first and head back to it after.
Headed down further towards sakura and had dinner.
It was nice and i have a horrible thought that bf wants me obese! haha
He kept feeding me more than he's suppose too. Boo hoo. Haha

Felt lazy after that and i really didn't feel like heading down to back to the museum.
sorry fyzah, didn't get to watch your performance. another time, somehow! =)
Didn't meet up with Jobelle either, she went shopping again!
She's taking it out on her money! She's depressed about something. LOL she needs counseling. Haha
So anyway instead of heading back to museum, bf and i headed down to Esplanade after dinner.

.

.

.

A mixture of feeling overwhelm me. It always happen when we're going to have a row about something.
True enough, it did.
I could feel something from Shenath that i didn't like.
Something very impatient and very much threatening to come out.
In my head, i wondered if he was suppressing yet another set of anger about what i did or said.
It didn't erupt up till later. I am not going to elaborate further over here.
I don't even want to think about it anymore.

I just can say that i didn't like the things he said and the way he say it to me.
It is very hurtful no matter how much i try to not feel it personally.
Somehow, it make me wonder why is it he loves me for.
Cos from all he said, i don't find any reason why he is going on with me.

However, last night, i didn't ask for a break as a solution as i use to.
I didn't but it made me feel that he did. So i told him okay, he's officially single.
(if that's what he really want)
But then he responded that he didn't want it to be over.
That he has already made up his mind about staying with me.

in my head, i wonder why he is staying... i don't like the things he said. 

i have my feelings and he's destroying that. if he didn't mean what he said, then okay...

but all i have to say was it hurts...

i love him. so much more than he thinks he know.
it hurts me more than it seems whenever we have our fights and of course, i doubt that he knows it.
i am cold and emotionless sometimes, but he doesn't know me that well yet.
i guess it is the right thing what i told him last night.

i love you shenath thomas dias

-hearts-
we need to take things slow and get to know each other better.
but of course, we are still together and we're going to do the getting to know, together...
i hope he's up for it and i hope there's still the Him saying "i'll do everything for you, darling..."
i'm in love with him and i have already decided to stay with him ever since i gave him ME.
i'm staying cos i love him, but if he end up destroying my love for him then i'm sorry.
i can only do with so much hurt. the more hurt i feel, the more courage a get to leave.
but i guess only time will tell.
as of now, my plan is to marry him after a year or two after graduation, and have his kids...
but let's see how much love can conquer everything... i shall try to believe in love again...