Mistakes?

I dont know if it was right. I dont even know if it was wrong.
It pisses me off to the part where i just want to press refresh and just try to forget all.
I know that i still love him but i guess i am just wasting my time.
It's like im the only one trying to pull him back and then im the only one even trying to see things clearly.
I feel as if what im trying to do is getting no where. I'm getting tired even of thinking about it.
I'm just so out of place. There are many times that i felt so high up and then he just bring me down so low.
I know it was my fault for just leaving him be but i left him because just need to be left be.
I said to myself that i can survive without him, but then again i just end up needing him more months after.
I am ashamed of myself. I realize that Love is truly uncontrollable.
I WANT to get over him and to just love him as a mere friend, but I CANT.
ishk! Feelings and MEMORIES are so hard to rid off.
Whenever i tried to push it away, it makes it much harder to pull through.
And im not seeing the right point of pulling through anymore.

But what i did days before, i dont know if i was mad to do that.
Also, i dont know why i did or say what i say.
I hate that... !!!!

I need a miracle to make this through.
I need a way to say goodbye without not being such a bitch again. haha.
but yes, indeed, i admit it that i do love him oh so much... still.
no one can take that away except Fate and Time... even i cant force it away..

going off now... ciaos