to you once again

i dont know what's worst, to not have you with me completely or to keep hearing that you havent forgotten about US but we cant be together again.
that somehow you still think that it is an impossible goal now.
i dont quite agree. if you really can prove yourself to me, i will be happy to give us another try...
im always like that, whether in relationship or friendship wise, im quite generous with chances.

when he told me all the things you said, i admit that i wanted to just run to you and make things right.
but then if anything happen we will regret it. i KNOW we will.
no matter how much i still ache for you, i believe that our time is not now.
and if we survive through it all, we are worth it and then you will know how fated we really are.
im not saying that we really are, apart from those premonitions i have about you, i still want to see if it is really so...
but once again, i say it here, IM SORRY I HAD TO LEAVE.
it isnt because i didnt love you mi amor.
i did and will always do.

so the worst isnt the worst, there's more to come.
what if i have met my real competition in him. yes he can cant get over the memories but what if this is the girl who can make him just truly forget me.
i mean for him i will be happy, but what about for me? well i will feel shitty for a while but then as usual with me, i will adjust to the stimuli.
but then a very good friend and GOD do witness to what i said.
if whatever it is, i will know what to do...
** i pray for courage and for the chance to go well with.

but i know that through it all, we can pass this. we can just have our own moment again.
i meet you in my dreams quite frequent of the late. sometimes, it is me pulling away.
sometimes, it is him pulling away.
then there are times that we both just succumb to it.
but i really do miss you...
and i do understand now that it is hard for you to be my friend.
but till when can you stomach me? till when.

**i just need to hold you again in my arms.
but then again, i dont want to make you be in sucha shitty dilemma.
next time, we'll have our time again my love. **

love love love