stupid paranoia

like what the fuck.
i think the whole paranoia of some stupid sort has subconsciously entered the sand my sandman has blew on me.
i feel so irritated having to force awake in due of that dream, no no it was nightmare!
shithead!

the nightmare however, made me feel more aware that i did feel a tinge of anger but not jealousy.
uggh i think i can count how many times ive been jealous in a relationship.
i dont know if im that heartless or emotionless. but i can only remember ONCE that i felt jealous and irritated at the same time. those closer to me, you all should know which one...

well i think my feelings is developing. i think this is the way it is trying to show me.
kinda happy the boyfriend is very understanding about this.
he's very patience in terms of a LOT of things... =))
okay. i have to go.

due today:
1. medical check up
2. banking stuff
3. bills payment
4. bag shopping
5. meet roz

of course... im doing 1-4 alone.
love shopping alone actually, only when im in the mood then will go with sisters. =))

yawwnns. another long day...
bye