break up and other stories

friday's main event : broke up with the latest bf

i know i know, im being a bitch. but i really cant help it.
i just have to do it. i seriously cannot end up liking him more than a friend.
so why did i went on with him in the first place? cos i gave myself a chance to
see if can like him or not!
haha
so it ended up as a big NO.
he's a total friend ONLY.
but i guess i just lost a friend again.
well, it dont matter... guys are like that.
if they dump you, they'll want you to still stay as frens,
but if u dump them, they'll just fuck off your life.
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people tend to meet and grow old together,
but i didnt feel it was you and me,
it's not you, it's not me, it's fated,
that i break with you now.
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then school ended with cognitive process and problem solving module.
hehe
and then i realized that i checked out some guy... (cos of sahidah lah! haha)
shhhhh...
OMG. but what can i say, i did like his shirt.
enough about that, okay, so i got a date on saturday(supposedly) but then
he cant make it the last minute.
so he still does owe.
well, ive been chatting a lot with him lately and i dare say that he has impressed me.
to an certain extent of propriety. hehe
and so i realize that i do like being impressed and kept interested.
i didnt know how to explain myself until just now,
when there was this guy who seem so eager to get to know me, but he isnt even putting
enough effort to do so. err both guys i am talking about now are different ppl.
well, i guess im just not ur typical kinda gurl.
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i saw pride and prejudice - i fell in love with the character of Mr Darcy.
and then it got reminded me of Hugh Jackman... i thought Matthew Macfadyen is Hugh Jackman at first!!
haha gosh. im in love with gentlemen and strong characters that can captivate me.
so someone please captivate me - guys only... lol

two characters that can make me really fall
- mr darcy's quiet, haughty and proud ways
- romeo's persisting charms and romantic bad ass ways.
arrrgh. i wonder if there's anyone who i will find like this.
i should live a life in theater. haha
i hate watching movies, i get soo into the character that i forgot it's mere movies.
for characteristics in movies does not truly exist.
not even mr darcy's and romeo's nature, for they are flawless lovers.
to my eyes that is. (munira, i bet u understand what im tryna say.)

what i need is romance back into my life
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por favor,
me deseo amar otra vez
mi corazon necessita amor.
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and then again i think, i guess im the only one not letting it back into my life.
i mean, im just being hard on love over and over again.
whenever it's there i take it for granted.
when it isnt there, i just want it soo bad.
-human nature-

i gtg. im sleepy =*() ...
nites nites