changes

there are many things that made my emotions grow stronger against going back to him.
a lot difference in opinions and ideas surges through me and i cannot overlook the fact that i had undergone another phase of which is the sign of really just letting go and moving forward, but there is still that love for him.
i wont deny that.
but now, things have been really good and tears rarely fall for him anymore.
no matter how much emotional my life can be, my smile just forces those woes to vanish.
i appreciate the many people who are entering my life and giving me the encouragement to be their reason to laugh and smile.
i have to uphold the label that these people are giving me - "the exciting one" .
im obviously flattered, no doubt. but how long can i even give a full smile.
but im sure these smiles will last and i have no fear to show my other side - my gloomy side.

if worst comes to worst, im prepared. but i wont let myself be distracted.
no more.
no way.
no thanks.
i have broken free and i will never let myself be imprisoned in whatever commitments that can just hurt me again.

im stubborn so i dont really learn my lesson, but i thank GOD that with my thick skull,
i manage to suck in some things that is taught to me by life.
**there is more to love than being in love.
i believe that with love, we can do so much, such as, letting go and moving forward.
being in love dont really let things grow.
so why cant we just love each other, and just stop being in love ?
get the meaning?
okay, if not, i shall elaborate ;
when u love someone, you want them to be happy and you can bear to lose them for the time being if that is what makes them really happy.
but, when u are IN LOVE with that person, you might only think that they want to move away from you cos they dont love you anymore.
that even tho they are not happy in the relationship, you still want to keep them and wont have enough love to set them free and fly away.

my motive is to let you know people, that i have moved far away from being in love.
now, i have that love for him.
that even tho i have someone else to hold me, i will still be there for him if he ever calls on me.
i will render my shoulders and my hugs.
i will give my all for him to just get over his crisis.

now i have to go.
the night is getting older.
the moon is passing by fast.
sleep is calling my presence.
i shouldnt resist it cos my lifestyle have change and will remain as so in months and years to come.

*loved.