ARRGH

first of all, i want to wish all you chinese folk a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.

anyways, mum's being a tutu.. seriously.. i fucking cannot stand her fucking mood swing and her fucking reasoning of things... gosh.... haiz.. i cant wait to start school and to be more away from home. really man... like wtf lah.. haiz... so much for wanting to lengthen my time at home... i just cannot stand her lame shit lah... i mean i do love her but this is sooo freaking different... im so ashame to even think of moving out of my house lah... i have nothing without her financial support and that's the worst being such a pampered child as i was growing up.. having all the material support family provides and then the complacency i nurtured as i have everthing within my reach. this sucks you know...
when i was growing up i have everything... money, nice house, nice clothes... comfortable people around me... who loves me... either cos they know that im a daughter of someone who has money or really because they care... yes, that's how i feel growing up... money talks as they say anyways... haiz.... and that's why im always wary and anticipating betrayal. that's the reason that i dotn really seek vengeance when someone betray me.. and so far, i can only count having betrayed.. i count myself lucky.
honestly, i prefer my life in which i dont have much to offer to anyone so that i know that they love me for who i am instead of other malicious thoughts.
my biological dad was his own way of being the boss around my estate in the Philippines. he is the man of the place at the area i grew up. last time when i was a mere child, i enjoy the privilleges of it, then as i think of it now, im quite ashame of it... due to his ways, my life was the ransom of it. i forgot how it went. what i remembered was being thrown over the shoulder of my big lady neighbour, i think her name's Ophelia, who was always instructed to look out for me. i realise that only years later... anyways, i remembered that she was running away from someone. someone she was telling that is after me cos he was angry with my dad, which makes him a threat to me cos he was my dad's enemy...
haiz.... all this happened when my mum was on a a holiday to china. and my dad was away on some business shit. wells, that's my life last time... then my dad and mum separated for good and she remarried and then now.. im here in singapore. yep yep... =)

very interesting right.. haha.. haiz... but i wish sometimes to ask for my dad's financial support... but nahh.. haiz.... i dont even have his numbers anymore. my grandmum and granddad cannot even get to him thru his extension number. wtf lah.. then give fer fuk.. cant even get connected... haiz.. nvm....
ok ok.. my mum's being a tutu again. i gtg ...