perseverance,dedication,concentration

i was typing away on the SISTERS BLOG , telling them to start sketching their goals in life.
then it hit me that i am right right to tell them to do so.
ever since i started having some difficulties(of which i wont touch on), i realise that working towards your goals just makes you feel secured.
having goals to look forward to just makes life more bearable..
that is because you know what you want to see at the end of the tunnel.
it coincides with the saying, YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
i do believe in that.
i didnt have the expected o levels aggregate score at all and i didnt land myself in a poly which my teachers greatly recommend for me.
i didnt get the desired points that the teachers has set for my standard.
im not saying that im a genius or anything, it's just that more of me was expected.
but i let that expectations down.
then so i realise that expectations and goals is never the same.
before this revelation, i used to torture myself due to the expectations set on me.
here are the expected points of mine of each subject during the o levels,
English - A1
Maths- A1
Science- chem A1, Phy A2
POA- A1
Social Studies-B3/B4

now look at my actual results,
English- C5
Maths- C5
Science- B4
POA- C6
Social Studies- C6.

see the difference? i do.
this is the result of having too much expectations to think of.
this is the product of not having goals!
because expectations show nothing of goals.
it shows mirage on the road.
it shows no light at the end of the struggle for the o levels(tunnel).
this shows that expectations doesnt ignite perseverance, it just tire people out.
expectations should just be set according to the goals that we are working towards.
and so i teach you PERSEVERANCE here.

i didnt have enough encouragement that could enlightened the struggle i felt.
instead i got too tired of the expectations that i hardly even realise that my dedication for my studies was slacking.
i wasnt consistent at all.
also, the teachers have too high a standard for me that they didnt see the laziness that has developed.
instead, they saw someone who is just being too complacent.
in fact, i think they didnt even see that i lack motivation.
but the blame should never be put on them.
it was me to be blamed for. i didnt put on enough dedication into my work, that's why i lost out.
that's why im learning and so i teach you DEDICATION here.

with all the lack of motivation being the product of some emotional distress,
i was on the verge of really breaking into pieces.
i was already fragile at that point but then i didnt break apart.
and i didnt break away from the one who made me so fragile.
i didnt think, i keep feeling and it caused me so much hurt to keep feeling.
then i realise that i have to just put my brain to use.
that it is best to stop listening to Ms Heart for the time being.
i was out of the path that i should be walking on.
instead i wandered out of the pavement, walked into the dangerous road of love.
i almost died when i got hit by one of the cars that drove past.
and so i learn that CONCENTRATION on that goal will be much useful than just having perseverance and dedication alone.
so i teach it here...

so good luck sketching your life.
live up to your goals and dont be swayed from your ambition, no matter who you are with.
remember, they are not worth it if they are the obstacles to your goals.
but if they are there to give you motivation and respects that you need your room to achieve your goals, always give them your time when you have it.
even just a single sms a day, at least let them feel that you havent push them aside.
yes, goals and careers are very important but that shouldnt be the reason why we push love away when it wont harm us.
just make sure that nothing sway us from that goal, doesnt mean that i must sway ourselves from being emotionally happy.
ensure only that when you start being emotionally distress, think on it and then release them and break away if you cant work things out.
also, i suggest you both have your space away from each other to see how much you still want to be with them.
the thing is, anticipate all things!
good or bad... just anticipate.

i leave you all now here.
think on it and remember, have goals that are achievable eventually.
it will make you more happy if you have worked your ass to achieve something!
have a great day.
till the next entry then...
take care.

love love,
mj