haloween and time management

haloween is upcoming and i still havent really decided whether to go or not
i mean i am thinking of all the possibilities.
laura says that the haloween bus still hasnt confirmed anything..
she will of course contact the i/c and i hope there really is
i mean $25/person bringing you in the most happening clubs around spore?
with free entry and free flow? =)) *heaven*



especiall to shenath, that idiot will go if there is free flow! haha
i just hope it will be damn happening...
well, so far i have thought about being a;
1. Gothic Fairy Princess

2. A vampire bride


and then i got attached... i thought about being...



and then shenath wanted to be zorro! so i might be elena...

anyway, i have a little big dilemma because i have to start saving doing my time management up a notch, i am very much eaten up with a lot things. hardly even have time to rest...
as of now...

i have
1. SUI! Operations DepartmentWelfare section
2. Institue-Varsity-Polytechnic Sports Reporting Crew Job
3. Social Circle
4. Boyfriend
5. Sleep

this is in random order...
but the boyfriend part is in my priority list but he will be a little bit inactive as we will both be busy doing our own things.
see how we have discipline! =))

anyway, i hope i will get around to joining laura and the rest. =))
it's going to be fun filled joy and laughter... lol

anyway, if you people out there would want to come and join us, let me know.
also, if you have any suggestion for any couples haloween costume get-ups, let me know...
call me, sms me, email me... and tag me if you want. but email me (as usual) is better... hehe
or you can find me in MSN, friendster... whatever... =))

toodles!

=))

yesterday i was totally not in the mood, in anything that is.
the only apparent mood i was in was either im too happy or im too quiet - if u call that moods...

i only remember laughing madly or shutting up entirely.
shen should know! haha i wasnt in the mood for anything.
yesterday in class was hilarious tho, i was team up with the couple (vans and yihao), sahidah and nisha. we made quite a lot of noise talking about which ghost should represent which.
apparently i got the breast ghost - hantu tetek.
it's quite the contrary tho, i have big and juicy ass, not breast. im only a B-cup and they call me hantu tetek? retardation.
so nisha as usual get the calling pontianak, sahidah was the chinese vampire, yihao is the pocong and vanessa is toyol - i know... i dont kno what i was doing really

(this makes me happy too)

the mood of happiness or basically just outburst of laughter irritated even myself.
i wonder how Shen stand these moods im getting. it's retarded.
anyhoo, i had some talk with him.
apparently, boys out there who have been trying to figure me out can go to Shen to ask any queries - he's working double shift digging in me deeper =))
apparently, he wants to know 'this girl i ....' i shall leave the dots a mystery
okayy. absolute as it may seem, i am feeling rather emotional.
i think, yes, that's the word, emotional.
over what? nothing. it's the damn period
moody before the period, normal during the period and anger outburst after the period.
OMG shen is so going to suffer...

shen and i are somewhere in the line of friends and more...
we are still on that path. we are having fun and i guess id know if we'll ever really happen.
if im still feeling as if we are not, it would be up to him to make me feel as such.
so far we are really good on communicating what we feel and how we see things.
i admire people who are independent - at least those who are somewhere there.. - cos for nuts, im not independent really. that's a good thing about being a girl
anyhoo, yesterday when shen sent me to the bus interchange, we saw his classmates.
i so wanted to run and hide. haha i mean i dont think it should be fair to us being found out when we are still "on the way"
i have nothing against our closer friends knowing about us and all.
my readers basically wont know who the hell im talking about anymore. only some here...
RP readers should just keep a close watch if you're really that psychotic to know.
but please dont link me to some strange retard. haha

okayy. today was quite fun too.
ALIENS ARE INVADING!


- we have two days to inform the whole world about it.
how and what to do? this is the most retarded communication topic that is brought up ever. haha
my team did fine. not the best but it dont really matter, we conveyed and stood our grounds rather well =))

was with shen most of the time. i didnt see jan today tho =((
cos he left me in the morning and we didnt meet for lunch - went with Shen.
i know, it's like Shen, Shen, Shen... what can i do?
well, ive been spending and talking to him most of the time.
apparently he's gathering information about me and my character. i told him to make a book out of it. haha
okayy. after school today, met him again and went to his hostel and hung out with this friends. uggh his dorm totally is GUYS DORM - it's awful!
only one of the guys' BED AREA is clean!

okay whatever it was. we spend like 45 mins being together and ended up getting late for both our other commitments!
and and i gave him BUTTERFLY KISSES.


i like those kisses a lot and uggh however, whenever i think of that, i remember giving it to daryl. stop stop stop. brainwash
but however, Shen didn't get the REAL butterfly kiss i always give my bfs..
recalling: i dont think i gave one to ivan tho...
okayy whatever... it dont matter..

so today went for emcee meeting. yay! =))
we are going to be handed out events to host. it really is cool.
however, it so totally make me sooo packed this holiday.

3 weeks = 21 days
class chalet - at least 2 day 1 night
weblog camp - 3 days
2-4 days of workshops - journalism & emcee-ing
so far, that's 11 days gone and more to come...

today at emcee meeting it got me thinking of doing a podcast.
anyone has any ideas to do on? something that you think i can pull off?
dont ask me to do comedy. it'll will suck. =D

emcee meeting was like too fast and too long...
fast cos i was 10mins late. missed the introduction part. uggh wasted.
also, it was a bad first second impression.lol
then it was long because i was suppose to meet Yan - has been waiting for like 45mins or so
gosh. so he fetched me and we went to seafood place at tampines.
been long since i been there.
well, my bums hurt due to the travel there on the motor, it has been like months and months that i ride it.
miss going riding with my dear ling. haiz...
and of course i do miss my good ol' biker friends.. =((

okay anyhooo... i have to go.
im lacking sleep... but school is fun as usual.
however before i end my day today.
i want to do an advance greeting -

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR FREN, YIHAO

best wishes...

goodnight....

just another day.

well, nothing much happened today.
just that at the cafe, something really wrong happened.
to that person who caused it, SHAME on you.
if you dare do so again what you did, you'd wish you were never born in this Earth.
people like you have nothing better to do but to cause harm on people who have been
hospitable to you. fugging idiots.

okayy. im done with the swearings.
the day was alright. didnt meet Shen today tho.
he's probably having family time with his brother and all =))
id probably be seeing him tomorrow.

upcoming events...
1. emcee meeting
2. weblog day camp.
3. photojournalism workshop (still waiting for email)
4. more job at the cafe

and last but not least...
5. MY 19TH BIRTHDAY.

*sorry. was just finish talking to Shen.
yawns. im still talking to nurul syg tho.
we're talking about virginity. hahaha
and dear, i know that id only do it with someone i love too k. dont worry...
i still believe in love even after daryl crushed that belief like previously - i still do
im just waiting for love to come hit me. so yah... =))
but no rush though, im scared of chickening out from love. uggh

okay, wanna go off now.
till next post then...

muahs

the day and some thoughts

well first of, i must say that since Mira has brought up my all-time happening birthday celebration, this may sound disheartening for those people who love the parties i hold.

however, it will double the pain in me - i may not be celebrating my 19th birthday! =((

i really enjoy throwing great parties..
and i am so honoured that my parties are the ones you people truly love going to.
as you all know my dear people, my mum is expecting to be due this month.
and it is most probably be around my birthday - 23rd August.
well, to those whom i know is planning my party, im thanking you really.
like aww jan, you're a wonderful guy.
if only you we're straight... ewww!
haha. anyway, jan is going into depression.

it's Shen(mr. crush)... jan is jealous of shen - he thinks his bgf is getting pulled away or something.
darly no k. everyone's my friend and i dont want to lose any.
okay. so ive revealed mr. crush's name.
just to remind all sisters, this is still in the crush zone.
i dont think he'd settle anytime now... plus, we're both flirts.

also, the situation is that we are friends with benefits - i dont know, we never talk about this.
it's those spontaneous things. que sera sera.
no one is tied down to no one. i just hope im not just his other woman.
i so totally have enough of being the third party.
for some fateful events in my love dept, i have been the third party at least thrice.
so if Shen is reading this - "please dont lie to jean when she ask if you have other women. she must know cos she prefer it that way"

okay, i must say that i really dont really feel truly satisfied.
i cannot help it, sometimes it sucks but when i think about the future - my future - it's better to wait till the 21st.
if however, they drag it till 30th or if last minute they tell me that i am not eligible, im killing them - no way im going to wait that long.
ima screw the damn milions or billions or whatever...
*to those who dont know what im talking about - just forget i say this, haha

however, i must say too that Shen is really a nice guy.
i hope he really dont end up dumping me after like i dont know. haha
but that's it, if im getting dump for that 21st birthday event, i dont know what to say.
and whatever it is, im fine. im not placing hopes and fears on anything...
im a good girl and i know God looks after me even when im not holy. =))

well today, i spend my day quite well and quite happy.
to Shen, i had fun today =)) but u guys are pigs!!! uggghh
go get yourselves french maids so that you can like have fun while they are cleaning your hostel.
omg, i bet Shen's friends' women will run after me with knives! =0

oh this afternoon, belated birthday boy khalid msn me.
he said he wanted a massage. hahaha, i know dear boy, you love my massage.
it made you go oooohhh and aaahhhh rite? hahaha sure i will, come crash my school k.
it'd massage ur head and neck like i always did. my school got sofa and all. haha

then just when i was walking home.
the most sweetest ever, a dog humping a cat! haha okayy that's Shen talking! like wtf.
i cant believe he thought that was sweet and worst - romantic!
uggh. okayy. so back to what i saw.
this boy in his just turned teenhood, or not even close, was knocking on this window, calling someone.
so the window opened and then he climbed up the sill and he talked to the 'friend'; it appeared to be a girl. it reminded me of me when i was trying to get out of my window to sneak out and flirt with some cute neighbour, in the Philippines.
okayy. the main point is, it's sooo cute. so romantic. so childlike.
innocent and pure, it was i seem to not have now.
not that im already used or sexed - but i have a corrupted mind, so you cannot count me pure.
haha and certainly aint that innocent.

okayy. i want to turn in soon.
just waiting for mr. lost crush to come online.

okay. for the time being, do me a favour and do this.
it's for a very good cause, a research that is being conducted... [LINK]

Updates on hyperventilating.

Currently writing this post in my school’s library – waiting for the incorrigible incessant late comer!

And I am sure that I will be continuing this post somewhere else.

After much concentrated thought, I lost my hyperventilation.

I had to put my head into my work – of course with constant nagging of my conscience and Jan!

It was S.T.D (gosh forgive me for calling you this)

He was the cause of my hyperventilating!

Of course with the help of no other but Jan Rick Mascarina – oh and I almost forgot, Jo…

Why must I be blessed with two bimbos who so totally just seem to really get me in deep shit?!

H-E-L-P

Okay fine, not that deep.

But deep enough to put really thick blushes on my tanned face!

You cannot imagine the feeling I felt unless it was you or unless it happened to you.

I think you’d kill a duck after that.

What happened?

Okay well, it was on impulse.

When I do a thing on an impulse, it usually ends up retarded or the likes!

I think it was Jan who sparked this impulse.

I felt challenged and I took it.

I was waiting for Jan for lunch break.

He came then and (I forgot how it came about) we ended up going to Jo’s class.

On the impulse of wanting to see S.T.D – someone I have a crush on!!!

I repeat – CRUSH – and not some lover or whatever.

Crushing is basically normal but it’s a little bit good for me because it is hardly for me to even have crushes on anyone that stays.

So let’s put to test this current crush.

Anyway, diverting back, so during that impulse, I en route to Jo’s class which was just side by side his class…

Then in the end, when we pulled Jo out of the class, this Chinese guy came out to take an “Everlast” pumps from a corridor, and then this dark guy in spectacles sitting on the mobile school chair was too!

My heart thumped hard – I felt it was him…

And then I almost slammed on Jan trying to ‘get away’ when Jan said that it was him!

The bespectacled dude was Mr. Crush?

I was totally taken aback – from the entire wrong angles – yes.

I didn’t know he wore spectacles. Of course I don’t really mind but I was shock Mr. Crush is Mr. Trash

And then again, NOPE – he is Mr. Crush.

Im fucking superficial sometimes, on impulse especially; im working on it!

Anyway, that wasn’t the worst – I promise more is to come in the later parts – bear with me!

Okay, I think he was wondering if it was ‘the girl’ from the JUMP party, who boldly complimented him and who talked to him as if she already knew him. (Yes I did that – blush)

For some apparent likes of my hypothesis, he peak out of his classroom door.

I was facing Jo, my back faces him.

Jo was like “He’s peaking, he’s peaking, he’s peaking…” then…

Nothing happened! He wasn’t there when I turned.

So then I was like “why was he wearing specs? I want to see his eyes.”

“His eyes are so nice, why he wear specs?!” of course the exclamation was in hush

But it proved to be contrary…

So he went out of his class, AGAIN, this time when I was pushing all my weight on Jan, (pinning him to the wall, opposite his class, to prevent him from going in Mr. Crush’s class!); he went out WITHOUT spectacles! I damn hope he wasn’t listening in(out)… arrgghh

That was such a ‘wonderful’ timing for him to go out of his class!!

Goodness!!! I think I was blushing.

Okay I admit I pretended not to see him initially okay.

Then when our eyes met, I fucking can’t turn away right?

So I said a stupid, “Hey… you…”

He flashed his award-winning smile and I swear I wanted to kill those people rolling around their mobile chairs making those noises.

Totally distracting!

Conversation went like this…

Me: Hey… you…

Crush: Hey.

Me: (not knowing how to fucking pronounce his name) you are…?

Crush: says his name….. (im not saying his name!) , JEAN right?

Me: Yeah… *smiles wildly*(‘cause he remembered my name!)

THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED FROM HERE!!!

Okay I have to stop this madness.

This crush secret won’t be a secret for long. One of my friends is in the same class as him.

And after speaking to her, and confirming she really is in the same class as him I realize that she seemed as if she knows what happened just now! But I’ll just die of embarrassment!

OMG! I cannot believe I just say that!

Me? Embarrassed? I sound like a timid and stupid school girl.

I got to stop thinking about what happened just now! This is madness.

[Inner voice to jean]

You have got to be kidding. You know you’re not like this. What kind of a guy is he made of anyway?

How can he have the power to overwhelm you this way?!

[Over]

Now im finishing this entry on the comfort of my room, sitting on my sofa and recounting today’s madness.

I must admit, the inner voice says it.

I am not that weak when it comes to boys – especially crushes!

Im doomed.

He’s made of something else.

Well, then again.

Maybe it’s just some stupid crush, some emotional impulse that puts me off guard for a little while.

Although it seems horrid, I won’t deny myself the chance of befriending him.

I feel as if a new species of me is being reborn.

Im out!

I hope that maybe I will bump into him one of these days.

Just a hope; I don’t even know where this impulse lead.

Just that no matter where it lead to, I hope it is good.

Because it has been long since something romantically good happens to me - months.

updates

so (1st August) went with ABC to City Square.
first time i went over the custom to JB with friends!
it was really fun and retarded at the same time.
fun because ABC is fun, retarded because Cody is part of it and he irritates the light out of me.
okay, diverting back to the updates.

it all started with late lunch.
[apologies] sorry for being one and half hour late, uber sorry
anyway, after getting fags, we all decided to go for some late lunch at the VIVO.
it was alright there basically but everyone thought it was not.
after the meal, we went shopping!

after that we all ate AGAIN..
yihao intro to us Portuguese egg tart - super nice.
so was the chicken! yum yum.
anyway, after such a long and tiring day going in and out of the custom, it was still really fun!
reached home at 1230am - if im not wrong. haha
my memory is getting poorer by the days - that is ubber sad!
shucks, anw ABC planning to go another round to City square.
I WANT TARTS!

okay anyway, 2 august.

we all went to school and then decided to skip after the second meeting.
surprisingly, i still manage to clinch a C - hehe
we had some lame conflict where to head to.
at first we settled to go to changi and then all these and those.
eventually, we went to Hougang Mall, to get Cod's laptop skin.
for some apparent reason, he cant wait to get it for nuts.
and for some another apparent reason, he seem to enjoy rubbing me the wrong way.
then after like shutting up, i exploded on him.
hahaha he deserve it anyway. :P
okay okay, i wont be mean anymore k.
as long as you dont piss me off.

well, ABC thanks for accommodating me yesterday.
loves.

yawns. im soooo sick lah.
damn dizzy from just now.
i think it's the migraine or something.
well, ABC has more planned.
just not sure if it will happen - im not sure if i can skate tmr.
i feel damn fucked up, uggh.
anyway, i am quite looking forward to bringing ABC to party...
:D

well well, im also looking forward to meeting my bitches.
i dont know when we all can meet up though.
some stupid conflict still seem to be around for some particular reason.
okay hidayah, im apologising, since you think YOU'RE CLEARLY not in the fault.
im sorry, for the fault that i may seem to have done.
for whatever reason for you just be so wrong at reading my comment, im sorry.
besides, i didn't post that to ignite some fiery flames that you seem to have been keeping or something.
i appreciate you speaking up but sometimes you have to see other's motives before you 'dedicate' such surprising posts.
anyway, im tired of everything really.


that's why i appreciate close people who gives at the least of their time for me.
or at the least our friendship.
because if it was me, i will, whole-heartedly.
and that is why i thank ABC and of course JAN RICK MASCARINA.


also, to those old friends who is still a part of me until now.


thank you.

okay, emotional much! stopping right here, NOW.
well, i can say that quite recently, i think i been having some tinge of crush on someone.
hahahaha. i think so anyway.
for people like me, it would just be a passing fad or something.
i seem to have tinge of crushes that last like a day or even just half.
goodness gracious. i think it's 'cause of my past flings or my past longest emotional damage. lol
i developed a way of not feeling anymore emotions. lol
been long since i really go lovey dovey anymore. haha
i think it's inhuman already.

okay i got to go.
my dizzy fiesta is starting again.
ciaos
loves

MY WEEK

WOW.

The first week of school life has just come to past this afternoon.

This whole week was really hectic for me that i really just cant find the right mood to update my blog.

So far, my new school life in Republic is really a new concept. Instead of the normal module that every other polys touches on, RP goes by the problem based learning.

Everyday, we are given a problem based on the respective subject/module that we are to do that particular day.

And guess what? It makes my life full of PROBLEMS.

Gosh. IMAGINE, 5 DAYS A WEEK, ONE DAY ONE PROBLEM TO SOLVE.

then u times it by three years! IM FULL OF PROBLEMS!

But so far, i havent screw up any presentations this week.

Also, this 5 days are graded and are commented on latest 3 days after the module.

and so far my best score is A. =)) my worst is B.

I AIM TO KEEP IT THIS WAY ALL THRU.

my A was from the INTRO TO COMMUNICATION module.

it is a module whereby we have to make something out of recycled materials.

then we have to list out instructions to let our clients assemble it themselves=))

yeaps. i have five different modules actually.

1. MATHS & COMMUNICATIONS - computer progamming stuff. arrgh!cant it THIS right!

2. COGNITIVE PROCESSES & PROBLEM SOLVING

- more on researching to prove and find out more about the problem statement

3. BASIC SCIENCES 1 - all things about science lah. this week prob was about blood transfusions!

4. INTRO TO COMMUNICATIONS - ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS!

5. ENTERPRISE - about life after poly. yeps.



THIS WEEKEND, i wanna rest... THEN more problems next week. haiz.



OKAY. I HAVE GREAT NEWS! I HAVE A BABY BRO!!!!!!

:))

** anw, the guys at RP are not bad lah. the thing is, i havent seen the one who makes my head turn. lol. kiki oso says so... (she's my fren) hmms, we were bitching abt some ppl during lunch. lol. naughty us... :P anw, i have seen so far 2 hunks. but then 1 of them is a brain dead. really a DUMB BLOND. havent really seen the other guy after two days! shux! hahha. then again, some guys who i just find quite cute, ARE ATTACHED! haha. one fren was like telling me, ohs, he's my friend's boyfriend. i was like, shit! hahaha.

okay okay, im going now. im damn tired!! arrghh. till next time...

PEACE AT LAST

continuation of the PREVIOUS ENTRY.

i was smiling and im smiling as i write this... but it isnt as broad as just now lah.
it was like reliving the days that i am crushing on him. gosh. and then reliving our memories of just having some talks.
my heart just beat sooo hard. from my house all thru till his house.
then i saw him lying down on the floor and then rain.
i didnt see kukong so i kinda wake him up and ask. BUT I JUST HAVE TO SAY THIS!
i hate that tattoo on him! gosh. okay anyways, i still say it is NOT REAL!!!
arrggh. nvm. but i lost my right in him lah. arrrgh. ** i wish i wish it isnt real.
okay anyways, after not talking with him for sucha long time, and after him having to stomach avoiding me, WE ARE OKAY. =)
**i rather have you as my friend than not have you in my life at all... =))

anyways, it was really very nice to like really talk to him again and have the peace that i so long for. and i get to tell him some things that i want to say. esp about It.
and also the question that i just so want to know. it came out so randomly lah... i thought i didnt dare cos like of what happened and all. and him avoiding me.. like finally =)
then i kinda told him and reprimanded him about avoiding me and all lah...
but the saying bye for the day was kinda weird for me lah. cos as usual i will kiss him or he kiss me on the cheeks. but like sooo weird lah. we just say "bye" then i straight away walk off. haha.
**haiya but he never say about the girl leh. haiz. nvm. i think soon he will... like he denying only. tst. haiya i also cant be bothered lah. im just so happy that we are finally talking again.
so means he have somehow forgiven me? i hope lah. he is forgiving lah i know but he took sooo long to stop avoiding me i thought it will be a few years more till he stop it lah.

arrgh but the tattoo is still itching me the wrong way lah. hahaa. then i was like "WHY U PUT SEY!"
then i will say, "haiya nvm lah.. ur body right. nvm. haiz"
after that i will ask him again why he put. then i think he got annoyed he shouted to rain, "eh boy, sound her sikit why i put" ... alah, i know lah i know lah! no need to slap it in my face lah.
*oh but i wanna hear and see about the girl... see if she's okay lah. but he like soo denying lah...
then he was like complaining after she call. i know it was her lah cos he talk differently to other girls. i KNOW... please, i read him like a book...

oh and about the question, he was still concerned and that's why i think he's worth it. =)
i cant believe that despite it all, he still do care...
thanks mi amor. LO SIENTO

that's all i can say and all that i want to say...
so like the 5 or 6 of us are gonna go out this tuesday... i hope it happens. cant wait! =)

sooo the day is good and so the day is worthwhile.

**an ounce of actions is a ton of theory**

this is really a good qoute cos today, i went all out to fix us =)
and i hope this peace lasts. =)))

loved.

P.S. nurul and i will be seeing RIVERMAYA concert tmr.

ciaoz!

HIDAYAH BDAE CELEB

i cant stop smiling today. kecik knows and she saw me smiling a lot today =)
BUT......... i want to talk about yesterday FIRST!

and first of all i want to say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIDAYAH DEAR!!!

**like finally she turned 17. my lil sister's all grown up. tho she's still one year short till being legal. but wth. she deserve credits. =))
the place we went to celebrate her birthday was at vivo 3rd storey play area.
GOSH!!! so malu lah. but it was really fun!!!

okay so first thing in the morning, tho i was still feeling sick!!! (until now i am sick!!), i went to hajar's place to cook her favourite dish. it came out okay, tho it wasnt really as good as my mum's but we ate it like nobody's busines. SO I PASS THE COOKING EXAM!!! =))
but poor hidayah, she was also as sick i was. but she was having the flu, i was having fatigue so yeahs...
it was really hilarious lah. hajar asked mei ling to buy the pasta and the potato.
this mei ling thought hajar asked her to buy potato CHIPS!! wtf.
so like when mei ling called me and all, i was wondering ytf did hajar ask ling to get potato CHIPS?
kecik and i was agreeing that if we put ling and hajar together, they will make the best bimbo club! =)) **ohhh yes it's true!!
so like otw there, all four of us are cooking up pranks in our dirty lil minds. the prank was like sooo impromptu!!! **wahahahhaaha!!!
okay, we were like telling hidayah that we are going to west coast and that she had to be blindfolded cos we were giving her a surprise.
so "we were suppose to take the shuttle bus to west coast" at vivo there.
the good thing is that she dont even know where the hell is that place. the other three were just like supporting my prank all through. cool shit! love them!!!
haaha. then after reaching harbourfront mrt, i blindfolded hidayah. made her turn three rounds and then we made her walk, holding my hands and hajar's, while ling take the video and nurul carrying the foodstuff!
so okay when we enter vivo basement 3, she was like saying "DUDE, WE'RE INSIDE VIVO! I KNOW HOW IT SMELL LIKE OKAY!" lol.
so i had to think of something! then i decided to just enter thru the carpark and go to the other entrance... like we were telling her that we are on the road and that she need to be careful of all the cars.
so i signalled to kecik and ling to get the cake... and then later we entered at L entrance.
then we took a stair up after taking a lift at lobby C. then before exiting to the third floor, i saw a pair of used gloves on a tin of paint! lol.
later on, WE GOT HIDAYAH TO WEAR IT!!!! ** like eww but it is a prank after all.
so like she was still blindfolded and all, then later on, when we exit, we made her enter the pool and then later on we got her to sit on the yellow figure stuff in the mid of the pool and ask her to wait there cos "i wanted to take my slippers"
later, we sat at the opposite side after running ard thinking should we hide frm her completely or just get ourselves seating on the opposite "land" of the pool?
then we decided not to be so bad and horrid. she was like sooo obidient la! she didnt take off her blindfold. lol.

she was just sitting down in the mid of the huge thing where everyone was like looking at her and all. plus,she was under the scorching sun!!! **bad bad sisters.

later we called her hp to tell her to loosen her blindfold. but cos of her gloves, she cant picit the phone properly. lol. after that she got so pissed she took it off and then just loosen her blindfold.
gosh gosh!!! she was like sooo freaked lah!! lol
then she slowly made her way thru the pool to us, then we each gave her hugs and kisses!!!
**muacks muacks hidayah! fer the prank... the sisters had great laughs!!!
so like we went to another place outside the RED, WHITE AND PURE shop. and we execute our makan makan there!!! =))
then after like 1 hour or so, we went to look for a place to slack the whole day till dusk.
we went to the sisters' fave hang out at pacific coffee co. but it was damn packed!
so then we scouted till something just pulled me to BROTZEIT!!! **a german restaurant =))

AND THEN THERE'S THE CUTE WAITER LAH!!! hahahhahahahahha.
i flirted, he flirted. then we made eye contacts and then i look away, and then he raised his eyebrows and then i look away. then he smile, then i smile back.
then we took pictures with my laptop cam and then he walked towards us and then he just looked at me. then he just looked....
** when we were like ordering, he lingered so long and he was just looking. i felt like asking WTF. CAN U JUST ASK ME FOR MY DAMN NO. wahahhahaa... i freaking flirted lah. even the sisters cant stand it. lol. they were like saying, WHY HE KEEP COMING. ASK LAH YOUR NO. OR WHAT!! wahahha. lol.
but then we exchanged names. lol. his name? Nidus. *i hope it is the right spelling.
his a nepalese or something... at first he said he was German. i believed cos of his accent...
DAMN SEXY LAH. ahahahha. and his eyes damn hot! =)) heeeess.

okay then after that restaurant... we went to the first floor hang out just beside the sea. then we slacked there till we finished the food.
then hajar and hidayah acted drunk. and it was really retarded lah.. send each other songs, to and from my laptop until i ran out of battery.
after that, we went to the 3rd floor again to PLAY WATER. damn paiseh lah but we just heck care about what others thought.
gosh gosh. RESULT? all of us got wet... then we used the handicap toilet with all five of us inside.
**jahat betol lah. like everyone stipped there lah. lol

OVERALL!!! it was damn crazy!!! and here are the pics!!!!

this first four pics are the successful ones we took. the last one is not cos we moved to fast b4 the cam captured us. lol.





and there's more!!!






then at brotzeit, i did cam whoring!!

THEN THERE'S MORE BUT LING WILL BE LOADING IT AT OUR BLOG. http://www.blackdiamondqueens.blogspot.com

okAay. so i will have to like end this entry. THE ONE im smiling about is on the next entry. =)

my day

i stayed home today.
i didnt get to go out as planned. i was supposed to meet up with yani.
the one that i said i would be meeting. someone from the past.
imagine lah, 3 years then she finally find me. that's how long she went M.I.A !
and she still hasnt forgotten me... and i still havent forgotten her.
eerr it's starting to sound all wrong. ohs heck! but then anyways, its too bad we cant meet.
i just have to have a major flu! sucks! so i rested like a damn pig.
i will be sleeping very soon.
after i post this i guess.

anyways, i will be having my first ladies' night after 3 weeks!
plus! i will be hanging with HAJAR!! i freaking miss clubbing with her!
love love! haha. As was like "besok confirm boring " ... i was like.. NO WAY.
haha. so i rattled on saying that with me and hajar, we will never be bored. haha.
then he said, " tak besok boring cos i takde! " wth. lol. (to gf! funny u but u tak tau malu =P )
okie anyway, the weeks of mine had been planned! like hell.. not bad lah.
but then the boys, jas, daryl, ryan and maybe dani, wont be coming along.
maybe just jas. daryl will be working on friday.
anyways, tomorrow, club plan as usual.
thursday, i will be meeting nurul and then maybe visit our godmum. been long man!
friday, we will be going out to celebrate hidayah's birthday! my lil baby is turning 17 this saturday! =))
then at first nurul and i thought that we could thon with the boys after that, but too bad cant!
then maybe on tuesday... i wonder if i still have that SIT cypher camp. like they havent even called me up lah. I WANT MY $10 BACK! if there aint no camp whatsoever.
one reason why we cant is cos daryl wont be free. haiz. like we are like accomodating his schedule. oh wells, what are friends for? :))
hhhmmms... so saturday is rest day.. if sunday there will be camp!! if not, then thon again! =))

i love my life! hahahaha. but i also got to watch out. i have been sick for two days now.
so i gtg and rest!!
ciaoz fer now. love love love!!!






++ i still have you in mind no matter how i tried.
how do i erase you from this memory and just push you completely aside.
but then again, no, i dont want to push you aside.
i love the dreams of you and i thank life for still having you in my life. ++

sick day

sick as a puppy today lah...
im now in bed still just taking a break from sleeping... i havent eaten from just now.
i guess im going to be visiting the kitchen in a moment.
i just feel sooo weak now. and im so overly fatigue stricken...
couldnt even come for work today... poor feroz have to call for a replacement.
anyways, i think i have to resume to my sleeping mode now.
take care.

to fyzah 3

and so i trashed her on my blog. like it isnt normal for me to voice out my unhappiness.
basically, im not afraid to show or say if im pissed off or just pure outraged.
but then again, i really am not a fan of girls in a quarell.
and also, due to a guy.
whosoever is at fault... i shall leave it to them.
the whole chapters are closed but i still think that my chapter with her isnt.
i think i maybe being stupid to just give her another chance to explain herself.
but then again, she is a girl and have been a nice girl friend.
just that this time, if she ever lie to me about anymore things at all, she's crossed out.
i dont know why im have so much patience for all this.
for letting her prove herself again, at this final time.
i can be really mean and freaking nasty, but it contradicts my natural all-so-nice-and-kind ways.
the sisters tells me to just drop her dry, torture her if possible.
they know im capable...
but then again, i think i have tortured enough girls in my years at st hilda.
im not the type to hate the person to such extent.
unless i really have to (winks winks)

so tonight at 8pm, i'll be meeting her at tampines interchange.
well, i maybe cycling there...
need to exercise! im certified FAT!
hahaha...
i dont know what else to even really talk about.
i guess i really just want her to come clean.
then we will see if there's anymore left for our friendship.

fyz,
i know that you did say that you want to save this friendship.
that you dont ever want to lose a friend in me.
but girl, the more you lie to me, the more you really will lose me.
just be frank and be straight and i will overlook anything else.
that's just how i am.
people think that if they hide things from me is somehow just saving our friendship/r'ship.
but no, im quite the opposite. cos i rather that you are honest and then you apologize.
if i see ur sincerity, it's a higher chance that i will forgive.
that's all.


anyways, i really cannot wait for school next week! =))
sun-tues (8-10) stay in SIT cypher camp.
wed-fri (11-13) "prison break" day camp

REPUBLIC BABE'S FREAKING EXCITED!!!
=))

inspiration chunk from mr clarke

Well Being / Inspiration
How Do You Make Love Stay?
Daily Inspiration
By Dr. John H. Sklare
Friday, March 23, 2007

Love! It can be the most wonderful feeling in the world or the most torturous emotional state known to mankind. But the latter is not the approach I want to take today. Instead, I want to talk about the good kind of love, the kind that lifts your spirit, fills your heart and changes you in the most deep and profound way. If you are fortunate enough to have found that kind of love, how do you make it stay?

That reminds me of an old Dan Fogelberg song titled “Make Love Stay.” In that song, there’s a line that goes, “But mystery’s a thing not easily captured and once deceased not easily exhumed.” The mystery of love is elusive! Those who actively seek it always seem to walk away disappointed, and then when you least expect it, that special someone seems to just show up. My message today is for those of you who have found that special love – why not make today the day you recommit to making that love stay? Don’t take it for granted and expect it to always be there because, as the lyrics suggest, once it’s gone, it’s not easy to get back. Love is like a garden that needs to be nurtured and tended to. An unattended garden will soon lose its beauty and die – and the same is true for love. How do you make love stay? You work on it every single day!

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare

this is what i got in my hotmail inbox.
then i thought, damn it's harder than it sounds! like so totally hard.
sometimes when it's there, you wont even know that you are taking that love for granted.
the only time that you get to know about your own mistake is when things go wrong.
someone once asked me, "can you even live just by love?"
then i remembered my reponse was, "no, of course not.but it makes life much worthwhile".
so now as i think on it, im glad that i did answer it that way.
anyway, i have much to say at my affliated blog.
go on CLICK THIS LINK ...

there are more to say about other things besides love.

i wont be able to really talk about love much lately.

that is because im not involve with some Mr MJ...

yes yes. i am not yet ready for another relationship.

i know it's been like what, 4 months since i left daryl.

but that's not the whole thing.

it is because i think i feel tiresome of the rough waters i had with him.

so im not ready to really jump into the potential choppy to rough waters again...

i prefer just watching the ocean of love and just stay out of it for the time being.

i just want to foster friendship until like the time comes and i see who is there for me.

who is sincere enough to be really there for me...

i am leaving you all for now.

do check my affiliated blog for some other stuff i have written.

tag at the board if you have things to say further.

=))

love love

Some some

what is love to me now?
it is still something that makes me feel squirmy inside, but it is somewhat an irritant and a distraction.
it has begun itching me in the wrong form whatsoever.
not that i dont want to be in love anymore, but the thought of losing the person you start to care for the most will be just another passers-by in the street of life.
Life is to be enjoyed and to be led with much fulfilment and happiness.
We should be happy and not sad most of the time.
Tears fall no doubt but we should never ever let sorrow rule our heart and mind.
I have begun my quest for romance again after the 3 months break. I somehow have someone who can be there for me whenever i really call for company, that is if being with my friends is not enough. But it is, i am happier with my friends rather than sharing intimacy with another person. Intimacy breaks my wall and i really cannot bear to let my emotion run wild anymore.
Not after what happened to my relationship with Daryl. It will always be the same pattern for everyone. After i realise that all, really, everything do come to an end... even the love that have blossomed well whither and die due to some incidents because we humans get tired of doing the same thing over and over again... watering and building up the love that we feel for our other halves just gets too tiresome for most of us. The big mistake? We should not treat our love as flowers. But in reality, we always do... I did.
Love is a cultivated feeling, a friendship that we share with someone special that has evolve to something better.
Love should be well attended to. To me, i have a theory that there is that one person who we can really love and give ourselves fully, no matter how egoistic and cold we can be. There are that souls who are bounded to meet... yes, im talking about soulmates.
As they say, love has many imitations... Lust is one of them... as well as our blindness to the superficial thing... we humans can be such stupid creatures when it comes to love. even the most intelligent beings on earth can land themselves in a pit of insanity with LOVE.
I can say that even though i help solve other people's emotional and relationship problems, I can never really ever do so for myself.
I can you guys how to treat your lady and i can tell the ladies how to treat their man right.
I can tell a couple how to make their relationship last.
I can get a broken up couple to be friends again..
BUT NOT TO MYSELF. never ever to myself.

But ive learnt how to psycho myself.
Now, i have learnt to let things go easily.
And i have gotten rid of that hurt i felt against Daryl.
i have learnt to let go of the most special person in my life before.
But we can never be friends... he made that clear to me, even though he was the one who made me leave him.
I just sad that he dont want to be friends.
Sad that i can learn to forgive him but he cant...
But it's okay, my friendship's always here for him to accept anytime.
Also, i think im really starting to like hIM. shux!!
haha. but then im in a huge dilemma now.. shit shit....

-till next time-

LATELY

okay, there are lots that has happened lately.

well, the most important news is that my application for the poly courses i chose were failures!!
that is really sad but i have appealed and im just hoping that 13th march will bring a much better result.
it's my points that pushed away the diploma course that i so wanted.
TOURISM MANAGEMENT... now im considering taking it at MDIS.
the problem is that i havent tell my parents that the course fee for a foreign student such as me will cost $6000-$7000.
Even if they agree im soo going to feel so bad if i dont do well for it.
i have appealed to Republic Poly. the campus that i really didnt even dream of entering.
but this is the last resort. i have heard from people that Republic Poly is not really that great.
that it is a lousy Poly. that really is a sad case... i didnt imagine landing myself in this kind of situation. im usually offered one of the best opportunities. but i just have to make do with this.
if i really land in RP, i will just make the most of it. so far, i been feeling really optimistic, TOO optimistic in fact. i must admit that my perspective has changed drastically this few months.
i really do think that it is the way to survive heartaches and disappointment.
i learn to let things go easily. that's why i really dont feel much disppointment when i receive the unsuccesful application shit. hidayah was so BOMBED. gosh.
anyways, at RP i have appealed for BIOTECHNOLOGY, BUSINESS COMPUTING, INFO-TECH..
so we'll see how it goes there.
if i get one of them and it didnt suit to my way of doing things. that after the 2nd or 3rd year of doing it, im still not able to comply to its specified industry, then i am going for the 7 months tourism course at MDIS. i have somehow planned what i wanted to do.
i already voiced my decision out to my mother. i questioned her about the financial situation of it.
i told her that if i go for a diploma in tourism at MDIS, i still want to continue it to a degree.
the dimploma + degree course cost about $35000 ++ with a 3 yr duration. so like now im so seduced to just go for the MDIS shit. my mum said that if i really want and i can do well at it, that i still can further my studies, i shouldnt worry about the money... well, i know i need not worry but i still will feel quite pressurized.
my dad said that if RP still rejects me, we will consider MDIS.

this time even if i get RP and the course that i like 2nd ONLY, i will still do my best. i will give this diploma by best shot that RP will just be a name that schooled my potential... i am capable of great things, it's a matter whether i really want to do it- this i really know..
i shall try to adapt. im good at it so i dont see the wrong in doing it for my future. =))

okay now, enough about the academic...

like what they said, fun plays one of the important key to leading a life worthwhile.

i have seen movies and clubbing lately this past days.

GF is the best!!!

well, he really is nice lah.

anyways, we have seen Norbit and Volver together.

next week we will be watching Blood and Chocolate.

cool shit!! =())

i cant wait!!!

anyways, last night i watch 300 (some epic movie) with Fariz.

then went clubbing again..

the other night, i went to club with Vicky, GF, his kuzin and the kuzin gf.

went to momo.

i had a wonderful time tho the music didnt suit my vibes.

no idea why.

like so no mood lah.

haha.

but GF is good to me =)) haha.

okay... last night!

clubbing was soooo not the way i anticipated.

i didnt enjoy myself.

i was quite angry about it lah.

ARRGH.

rather not talk about it...

anyways, laura, thanks for the Jack Daniels invites!

see ya again next week!!

=))

okay, im soo going to end now.

IM FAMISHED!!!!

CIAOZ!!

nothing

im not working today.
really bored. im waiting for time to pass by fast.
i may be meeting IM tonight. go vivo and then take my watch from him.
i left my Guess? watch by accident at my work place.
good thing my manager was still there and then so i told him to hand it over to edica.
i dont know why edica. (he's fyzah's mr eye candy... wahaha...)
maybe cos he has done me and fyzah a great favour.. right right fyzah!?
hahaha. ok. anyways, i told edica to hand my watch over to IM.
then later i be meeting him... yep yep...
nothing much to do at home really. im fucking having my monthly cramps!! arrgghh!!
damn pain lah... :(

no attica tonight. no mood. no hope of entry for hajar.
so yeahs... see when i have the full mood to club. like so bored already...

video

another song that i love . haiz. ok... hidayah reminded me of it but anyways, whatever.

*** hear this song (after the Background song) ...

poems

did you all ever know that i have a book of poems? it isnt really that personal but usually is it about love. and yes there are some semi-personal ones, so yeah.

im not a really romantic with words but there are times that i see love all around me and i cant help but write about it.

in my poem book, there are a few poems that are not written by me. Either they are the poems of my other friends (of which i will state who) or they are poems written for me. yeah, the ones written for me is from a guy. of which i wont write who. cos i really dont want people to know that he's sucha, err, sweetheart. ahaha.

but it did won my heart. i love poems, see. i appreciate words expressed thru poems. i love poetry. whether or not they rhyme. but i must say, poems must mean somethings. okay now, let me take you to it slowly. i will copy here everything. but not all in a day's entry. maybe one or two? hmms. i think i shall establish MONDAYS n SUNDAYS poem days!

okay so here i start with a non-romantic poem.

poem 1

Tittle: Something to think about

When painful sorow sweep over you,

Be strong and listen still;

Life is full of meaning so true,

That all you have to do is feel.

Roads are bulky as ever before,

Fear nothing but the wrath of the Lord;

He stay true to us and more,

By actions and sometimes with a word.

The love we feel inside is by Him,

As well as those ache we feel;

We just have to search within,

And everything will be done by will.

Fate and destiny is one with GOD,

Together thru time that's irreversible;

Changing them is something bad,

Cos everything in the present will be invisible.

Be happy with now and everything,

Contented with whatever there is;

For the 'morrow is life renewing,

soul searching whatever it is.

**yes, i was thinking of GOD at this point of time i wrote it. and so i wrote this to remind myself that HE is there. And that i shouldnt want to change the past.

poem 2

tittle: Untittled 1

You're all that I've wanted,

You're all that had mattered;

I didnt know that you're still the one,

That one i really still want.

Love is very much alien to me,

But it's you who made me see;

Who stand as proof, who made me feel,

That love do exists for real.

Pride and ego may come between,

Pain and separation may even win;

But you and me are meant to be,

We'll be back again someday they'll see.

Whoever they are who make us part,

They'll never change that feeling in our heart;

Do trust what it says cos i do love you,

And thru whatever I'll still be your boo.

**this is a poem made by me quite a long time ago. yes, to a lover when we had somehow almost given up hope on each other. that lover isnt my lover now though. so no matter, i still wont say who he is..

well, let's just say that the poem came true and then it didnt.

okay so i'll end here. till this Sunday then. anyways, i shall copy here the poems in the book firsts. then when everything is done. i shall do more of new poems. haha.

the newest year

the new year.

year 2007 at last!
a time to break free and to let bygones truly be bygones!
and im happy to proclaim that my old 'frenenemy' is my friend back!
im glad...
(jas... thanks a lot for having a new start:))
year 2006 is really an inspiration and sucha a good teacher to me.
masks, lies, denials... love, hugs, kisses...
i learnt it all.
i put lots of people before me and i realise that i didnt really do that to my family.
so as i restart, i want to try to place them before me.
and yes, im truly going to try that.
with my best no doubt.

oks.. the night of the new year's eve was really not that bad lah.
i had fun and i was tipsy.
there was a fight lah.
then the guy accidentally pushed me off.
and then he hit my mouth there.
apparently, my lip bled.
i spat out all the blood i could.
but no matter, i was angry at him.
accidental or not.
i cant give a damn lah.
but eventually, things got better and then went back to the worst.
gosh.
yat the mr soulman was not really into all this.
i could see his distaste and all of the things that is obvious to me.
to yat, im sorry.

anyways, good thang i didnt spend much money lah.
gosh.
i want my phone ASAP!
haha.
wells, to start the new year.
i just had to have an arguement with someONE!
jas knows who it is.
and apparently, he was further sarcastic when he found out that we were waiting for my ex.
it was my fault for letting it out but yeahs.
anyways, i had no idea why jas was waiting for that guy but in any sense we didnt go with him.
he went to zouk after work.
i was glad he was the one who distant himself.
cos seriously, i dont want what happened to farah happen to his girlfriend.
i dont want to be responsible to relationship breakdown!
hah.

but i still just want to be friends with him.
nothing more nothing less.
and im a good person so the girlfren wont need to worry abt anitin.
im sure daryl has moved on.
perfectly fine and well...
err yeahs.
me too.
haha. of course man!
i wouldnt be like with some other ppl if i havent.
my ppl shud know.
hahha.

anyways, sweetie!!!
happy new year!!!
and to my darling
happy new year!!!
haha.
and yeahs, my friends!!!
happy new year!!!

movie marathon

heellloo.

wells, im at home surprisingly.

not really lah.

i just dont really have the energy to go out and hang.

turned down quite a number of plan out.

my cousin and i were supposed to go out but eventually came down to two option.

one ; slack at my place.

two ; go his place and then we have our fitness REJUVENATION.

i opted for the first!

haha.

im starting to think that my cousin is going to kill me.

haha.

but we'll have our fitness times next week.

when im feeling better.

siao! im sick but still ask me go jogging! kao pe!

hahaha..

so yeahs, he brought some movies and his portable dvd player(sanggup lah dier! cousin's the breast!)

so far since 4pm, ive watched STEP UP, FINAL DESTINATION 3 and TAKING LIVES.

cool! soon after this post, we'll be watching SKELETON KEY, AEONFLUX and some gore movies.

good thing he has all this dvds lah.

haha... btw, a my darLing came over too!!

anyways, not to forget.

my cousin taught me a very very very tiring but awesome way to control my mind.

he's damn cool with it lah.

ass..

haha. im soo jealous! but hell, i still got loads to learn.

practice, practice, practice.

i mean really, it kinda answer why i cannot decide on things very well.

apparently, the pencil just hung vibrating on the spot.

dont even know whether to turn left or right.

it just vibrate there and only on the first try when my mind was really blank did it move.

i tell you.

the fucking pencil just seem to be magnetised or something.

fuck man! im fucking envious. my cousin can clear his mind damn well and just move it.

asss..

hahhaa.

(he's right behind me and reading this and he laughed at me)

lol.

wells, anyways...

i gtg.

still got loads to watch! hahaha.

-love love love-