the day's fulfilment.

today today today
was was was
very very very
tiring tiring tiring

lol im feeling so retarded today...
hmms i wonder why... (see the next few paragraph)

okay i went to school. managed to dragged myself off from bed.
but then developed flu so when i reached school, i was so weary!
manage to reach 15 mins late ONLY.
gosh. then the problem for today made my brain melted.
then later bf gave some itch on the emotions again.
but twas alright, nothing big. lucky... phew!

ouhs yeahs.. yesterday, after the photoshoot, went to meet shenath.
didn't want to actually due to the attitude he gave me the whole of yesterday.
he himself didn't want to meet. but at least we sorted things out.
so on my part, i apologised and reassured.
sorry darling... i love you! :)

then finally, we are fine!
=)) then today gotten sick... yawns.
so mr shenath insisted i left class to rest at his place.
was so tired i forgotten my fear of staying alone at his place...
yeah alone lah, he went back to class :)
today i have to say that he took care of me VERY VERY well :))
i gave him an A :))

anyway, lets talk about a fulfilment.
shenath had finally manage to bring me to this place he wanted to go last month.
(even when i sick oso still can go around ah.. haha this is what happens when he and i are together.)
he failed in getting into this nature place in singapore at first.
apparently, the second time he tried looking around, he found the place!
it was quite hard to get to the place actually;
quite tedious cos the place has this gates one need to squeeze into/ or climb!
even i cant get to that place... i seriously doubt i will find it interesting!

but it was eventually very very interesting.
i was quite afraid id get bruises or cuts or injury of some sorts, but at least he led me to the place gently.
sucha gentleman he is =))
the place was dewy. nature see... so yeahs
later on he had to rush to leave lah... uggh
then uber disgusting had to brush on those dewy part of the leaves all...
he has rugby training so no choice... =((
but.... he says he'll bring me to the place again. lets see...
hope it wont be that dewy the next time around =))

okay... yeah so that is our fulfilment!
okay okay maybe not lah. but today was quite insane.
shenath went late for his rugby training... PARTIAL ATTENDANCE! =))
darling... thanks for your socks ah... *sarcasm*

hmms anyway, wanna upload pics in my next entry.
got some retarded pics to show.
but for now.
this entry is for TODAY'S FULFILMENT.

work | revelations

went to work yesterday - lemongrass thai restaurant (pasir ris branch)
it was damn packed.
there was a lot of work to do... my kind of thang.
i prefer doing something than just standing around...
when i came in for work i was a lil bit taken aback at the number of reserved seats.
then store manager said there is 95 pax reservations.
that is not counting the extra people those guest brought along with them.

it was a real nice semi cardio exercise :))
despite wearing a kebaya, i was feeling alright.
my shoes were a little bit slippery... i think i almost slipped in the kitchen entry for like 5 times.
wonderful.. lol

but i was a lil bit pissed at work too!
store manager suck the blood outa me. damn shithead lah
i hate it when someone gives imprecised directions/orders.
if he can tell it to me once, i will know it straight...
he DONT even know how to direct me to do things...
he just know how to give VAGUE directions... but whatever.. i hope i can avoid him most weekends. lol
cant help it... my aunt aint the owner anymore.. cant do anything but to do proper work.
haiz... but the best part? im getting pay very soon! yey

i have to save money though.

ive been spending a lot... actually i always spend a lot... haiz

i cant help it... but im alright with handling other's money... i just cant handle mine... at least not now...

i have to learn tho... for my future too...

talking about future.
last night, i was having a talk with my mum...
and it has made me set a long term goal. a wonderful goals in life...
but it would need a lot of me... i just hope i can do it.
after graduation, i shall have to test things to implement it.
as of now, i wont reveal it yet...
but it's about business... here in singapore and in the philippines.
i have enough back ups but i want to start with my capital together with parents' help.

i guess this is the way i can help my family gain what we have lost along the way in life.

life has taken a lot from us... failure after failure has reduced us to something that is not satisfactory to my eyes anymore.

with the talk i had with mum, i found out how important i am through connections.
i also found out who we are connected with.. and i found out how an important family has been run down by failures.
haha there are a lot of important people in my family actually.
now then my mum reveal to me...

i was wowed.
haha i aint going to say it here... i dont want to attract wrong events to me know =))

i know im important. that's it... =)) hehe

new beginning

w45f

!!here i come!!

whatever part 2

i havent slept properly since the induced labour my mother has experienced.
as i have earlier proclaimed, i have a new baby brother.
he looks like my dad, his eyes however, has a tinge of Bautista in them.

i am currently tapping into others internet.
my internet is down =( kinda cause a contact barrier b/w me and shen but im still able to find devices to get through to him. phew.. im sucha good girlfriend right?
haha and jan, stop protesting that im still not his girlfriend.
im his "woman"... (i would so prefer to be called his lady)
haha... whatever...
yesterday, we were smsing about how fast it seems that we got together and how long it felt that we knew each other.
then i forgot to recount that part when i told him that maybe at the end of the year i might have to fly to the phil to do some stuff-cum-vacation...
then he pops that question. then i asked him, so it means that it's exclusive that we are seeing each other?
then he on the other hand seem to get it wrong and say that i want to see some other people. lol what the hell.
it doesnt mater. i know that if we really end up as in OFFICIALLY TO THE WORLD together, then things will materialise.
then again, im afraid that i might get dump for doing some stupid mistake and im afraid id back out in the last minute, or he might do some stupid mistake and get dumped by me.
either ways still seem quite possible right?
uggh i dont know.
well, i better get back now.
i didnt bring my hp and i know he has already finished work.
he's bound to sms me 20 mins ago and im still here typing away.
going going gone!
poof!

MOMENT OF JOY

AT APPROXIMATELY 1.25am TO 1.30am, on 18th August 2007 (1887)

ISAAC MUHAMMAD BAUTISTA BIN HASSAN
has come into the world!!!!!!!!!

I AM OFFICIALLY THE ELDEST OF THREE!!!
i will be posting his picture v v v v v soon!!!!!

major much

MAJOR NEWS TO ALL.

MY MUM IS CURRENTLY IN THE DELIVERY SUITE!

means that she's going to be delivering! yayness! a baby brother!
anyway, im with my sister now. she didnt want to go home.
she's all hyped up about our brother on the way that she was sooo insistent that she stays.
today, i turned down two invites to nightlife.
sadness but my family needs me now - MORE.

okay. to the sisters who are so coming down tomorrow, please dont go nuts seeing my brother k. give him peace! haha
well, whatever the case, thank you for giving these family-like support.
like awww....

anyway, before coming down here - KKH women tower - i was with my rugger.
yey, haha i got a new term for him.
he went to pasir ris today, met me at whitesands and yeah had an ice cream with him.
plus, we talked quite a lot.
and guess what? we just realize that we only got to hook up last thurday - national day - and yet it was as if we already knew each other since GOD knows when.
it is really very surprising.

but yesterday, that rugger has a mood.
i was sooo tensed yesterday as to why he was pissed with me.
in the end, it was settled. i realise that he want 2 knw wher his woman is..he dnt like 2 c me randomly sumwher...
when my eyes saw, "my woman", my eyes narrowed. surprising.
then he was saying that i was in school too late already. and that he was worried that id reach home too late.
i was like "sorry, i didnt think it would matter. i guess i underestimated your concern"
then he called me straight away. gosh.

this ways of communications just keeps making us closer and closer.
what if i really fell for him? id be damned! i think??? ugghh im still staying off the deep.
=)) i love to stay in the shallow too long. oh well, i still need to know him more...

okay. my sister is bugging me to do her blog.
see ya ard soon.

AND YAY, IM GOING TO BE THE ELDEST SISTER AGAIN!!!
=))

on reserved updates.

there may be possibility that jan is going into depression.
why?
because he's jealous i have Mr. Crush, whom he helped tremendously to fixed up with me, without my consent,
I REPEAT - without my consent.

okay that is not what i wanted to update on. So here it is;
The day turned out okay.
the fact that Mr. Crush did not turn up suddenly, during the time that i was having rudolph's (the reindeer) nose, was really a blessing.
i was close to rushing to the ladies' to touch up on my already-unfresh-sickly face when i smelled the rat.
jan was about to almost succeed in tricking me.
the whoreness! uggh

well, we ended up chatting over the msn.
it was not bad for the first time talking, it was cool.
found that he is an outgoing and open-minded person.
that's already a plus.
but anyhoo, i would so totally not want to place too fat a hope into this.
i mean it is still there in the crush zone.
it might crash half way through the flight.
but if he and i gets along rather well, i wont deny i can like him.
:D yayness for me! it's like a fresh new chapter in the love dept.

anyway, the trick Jan made seemed to happen like unexpectantly.
that frenwhore of mine has 'salty tongue'!
so like after chatting with mr. crush, he asked to meet, at least for a while.
then yeahs, lucky i lost the red nose within like an hour.
haha, so went to meet him for a while lah.

then after Jan's class we ate at the canteen.
i saw the two guys i saw in the library in the canteen.
of which one is so cute, he has dimples.
gosh... nice nice... im a sucker for dimples and nice eyes.
which explains my choice in Mr. Crush and the sudden attraction to this guy name Shah.

ya okay, im sucha whore.
First is Mr. Crush and then Shah, like wtf.
Jan was so pissed.
[recalling]
shah was eating diagonally behind me, so was stealing glances at him and all, like some girl do.
so happens after he finished, he was walking out of the canteen when we had eye contact, then he smiled.
his dimples are soo ugggh! *melts*
the funny part was that when we were busy smiling at each other, he slammed into his friend.
i almost laughed out loud. wahahaha

Anyway, so this friend of shah passed me a note, with his number and all.
so i decided to like give it a try.
test the waters... then *chechang* he was so cute over the phone too.

okay like enough.
im still crushing on mr. crush here.
hehe i was reasoning out to Jan that i am not attached with Mr. Crush so it is like okay to talk to Shah, right?
Nothing wrong.

so far, i have a plan to go out with Mr. Crush tmr.
i hope he really wakes up after boozing the night away.
if he is really reading this, i hope to see him... like whatever.
hehe

ciaos now.
muahs

reserved.

today's experience made me relive my past deeds.
i really feel that im being a nice and nasty person at the same time.

okays.

reserved updates.

laters...

crush madness

Im here in the library, waiting for jan to come down for his lunch break.

I cut class today.
I foresee myself not being at all productive.
For one, i was late for school on purpose.
I wasn't feeling well in the morning so decided to snooze.
Snooze for like 45 minutes before i manage to pull myself off my bed, throw off my clothes and into my bathrobe.
Jan himself woke up late, which i am not really surprised with.

Then later when i was outdoors to meet him, my was half blind.
The sun was too bright and too hurtful.
My eyes went teary and my flu got worst - apparently heat didn't make me feel better ='(

Nice Jan made us Cheese Cheesy Hot Dogs in Bread - 3 for me, 3 for him.
Awww isn't it such boyfriend material doing?
Jan, let's go on! provided you pledge yourself straight - eww haha
Anyway then he was so nice he brought along chocolate berries bar in RUM!!!
it was really nice, i don't know if it was me or it was the rum in it but it made me okay at least for a while.

Anyway, jan and his friends has just left as i type this sentence, we had some board games.
It was really retarded.
And i so love battle ship. I won Jan in the game.
Call it semi-cheating, i kinda use 'tactics'... hurhur

Im going home very soon after charging my laptop.
This is something good about RP; you can surf all you want, anytime, anywhere, it's free!
then again, i think im not going just yet...
•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com derailed says:
jean
i got amazing news
LIKE NOW
i meet u same place
wait for me



i bet he's like crawling here.
i wonder what his news is.
okay, let talk random things while waiting for the release of this 'amazing news'

random topic #1 - piercings.

so yesterday was checking my inbox and i found these...

If you think people who went for extreme make over only want to look beautiful, wait till you see these...






would you pierce this way?
ultimate yes? and totally meant to be ostracized.

random topic #2 - extreme make overs







random topic #3 - people who pays to be deform

this generation has gone mad, probably with the fact people pay to be deform and with obvious thinking that deformity is really cool. i dont ostracized people who are BORN deformed, but why spoil the beauty GOD has given? FOR THESE...







okay, random topic is over. soon will come as long as there are good materials in the inbox.

anyway, here is the 'NEWS' that jan was talking about.

one of his classmates is good friends with Mr. Crush.
Dang, im dead.
I guarantee before i even get to know him, he already knows about me. ugggh
then that would completely be a turn off - to me!

jan msn me saying all these...
i dont know if to be thankful or not... i feel like a dang school girl.
oh wait, i still am! haha. kae shit!!! haha

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com derailed says:
jean wait la
we got like 3 teams je
before 3.30 finish
thats like roughly an hour left
and ive scheduled lunch friday
so u owe me
he told shan redi

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
OK DONE
both of u
meeting for lunch
period

reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
ME AND HIM
ONLY???

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
friday
yup
(:

reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
ARE U LIKE NUTS?????

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
alredy settled

reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
WTF DID YOU ALL SAY

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
e say he dun want with ppl la

reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
?????

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
my fren say
ok i told my fren
reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
wtf???
huh?

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
"your fren and my fren have been flirting"
my fren say she dun like flirting, just straight to the point, have lunch together
then he said "no, he wont have group lunch"
"ill schedule lunch for them"

reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
JAN DO YOU REALIZE THAT IM ALONE IN THE LIBRARY AND UR MAKING GIVE RETARDED REACTIONS!!!!!

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for
starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
HAHAHAHA
ust trust me
it will go well
settled redi
u owe me
one gigantic
favor
better wear nice
on friday
and u better come!!!!

reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
NO WAIT
how can it be that im meeting him for lunch
"your fren and my fren have been flirting"
my fren say she dun like flirting, just straight to the point, have lunch together
then he said "no, he wont have group lunch"
"ill schedule lunch for them"

pleass explain this to me??

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
thats what i told him
reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
ur fren and my fren has been flirting?
haha
NO GROUP?

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
nope
only u two
reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
jan.. i duno if to thank you or kill you

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
(:
wear nice
reyna jean -- who doesnt love for someone to hold. says:
uggh

•···¤jªÑn¥¤···• eyeswillroll.blogspot.com looking for ACTORS/ACTRESSES for starhub/ripplevox "I AM HUB" competition. says:
ok he say he wants to meet u after sch


then he sent me more stuff but there was this part he was telling me Mr. Crush was like going to find me now and all.

I so want to kill THEM...
okay, chatting with him now.
toodles.

CRUSH MADNESS....

Updates on hyperventilating.

Currently writing this post in my school’s library – waiting for the incorrigible incessant late comer!

And I am sure that I will be continuing this post somewhere else.

After much concentrated thought, I lost my hyperventilation.

I had to put my head into my work – of course with constant nagging of my conscience and Jan!

It was S.T.D (gosh forgive me for calling you this)

He was the cause of my hyperventilating!

Of course with the help of no other but Jan Rick Mascarina – oh and I almost forgot, Jo…

Why must I be blessed with two bimbos who so totally just seem to really get me in deep shit?!

H-E-L-P

Okay fine, not that deep.

But deep enough to put really thick blushes on my tanned face!

You cannot imagine the feeling I felt unless it was you or unless it happened to you.

I think you’d kill a duck after that.

What happened?

Okay well, it was on impulse.

When I do a thing on an impulse, it usually ends up retarded or the likes!

I think it was Jan who sparked this impulse.

I felt challenged and I took it.

I was waiting for Jan for lunch break.

He came then and (I forgot how it came about) we ended up going to Jo’s class.

On the impulse of wanting to see S.T.D – someone I have a crush on!!!

I repeat – CRUSH – and not some lover or whatever.

Crushing is basically normal but it’s a little bit good for me because it is hardly for me to even have crushes on anyone that stays.

So let’s put to test this current crush.

Anyway, diverting back, so during that impulse, I en route to Jo’s class which was just side by side his class…

Then in the end, when we pulled Jo out of the class, this Chinese guy came out to take an “Everlast” pumps from a corridor, and then this dark guy in spectacles sitting on the mobile school chair was too!

My heart thumped hard – I felt it was him…

And then I almost slammed on Jan trying to ‘get away’ when Jan said that it was him!

The bespectacled dude was Mr. Crush?

I was totally taken aback – from the entire wrong angles – yes.

I didn’t know he wore spectacles. Of course I don’t really mind but I was shock Mr. Crush is Mr. Trash

And then again, NOPE – he is Mr. Crush.

Im fucking superficial sometimes, on impulse especially; im working on it!

Anyway, that wasn’t the worst – I promise more is to come in the later parts – bear with me!

Okay, I think he was wondering if it was ‘the girl’ from the JUMP party, who boldly complimented him and who talked to him as if she already knew him. (Yes I did that – blush)

For some apparent likes of my hypothesis, he peak out of his classroom door.

I was facing Jo, my back faces him.

Jo was like “He’s peaking, he’s peaking, he’s peaking…” then…

Nothing happened! He wasn’t there when I turned.

So then I was like “why was he wearing specs? I want to see his eyes.”

“His eyes are so nice, why he wear specs?!” of course the exclamation was in hush

But it proved to be contrary…

So he went out of his class, AGAIN, this time when I was pushing all my weight on Jan, (pinning him to the wall, opposite his class, to prevent him from going in Mr. Crush’s class!); he went out WITHOUT spectacles! I damn hope he wasn’t listening in(out)… arrgghh

That was such a ‘wonderful’ timing for him to go out of his class!!

Goodness!!! I think I was blushing.

Okay I admit I pretended not to see him initially okay.

Then when our eyes met, I fucking can’t turn away right?

So I said a stupid, “Hey… you…”

He flashed his award-winning smile and I swear I wanted to kill those people rolling around their mobile chairs making those noises.

Totally distracting!

Conversation went like this…

Me: Hey… you…

Crush: Hey.

Me: (not knowing how to fucking pronounce his name) you are…?

Crush: says his name….. (im not saying his name!) , JEAN right?

Me: Yeah… *smiles wildly*(‘cause he remembered my name!)

THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED FROM HERE!!!

Okay I have to stop this madness.

This crush secret won’t be a secret for long. One of my friends is in the same class as him.

And after speaking to her, and confirming she really is in the same class as him I realize that she seemed as if she knows what happened just now! But I’ll just die of embarrassment!

OMG! I cannot believe I just say that!

Me? Embarrassed? I sound like a timid and stupid school girl.

I got to stop thinking about what happened just now! This is madness.

[Inner voice to jean]

You have got to be kidding. You know you’re not like this. What kind of a guy is he made of anyway?

How can he have the power to overwhelm you this way?!

[Over]

Now im finishing this entry on the comfort of my room, sitting on my sofa and recounting today’s madness.

I must admit, the inner voice says it.

I am not that weak when it comes to boys – especially crushes!

Im doomed.

He’s made of something else.

Well, then again.

Maybe it’s just some stupid crush, some emotional impulse that puts me off guard for a little while.

Although it seems horrid, I won’t deny myself the chance of befriending him.

I feel as if a new species of me is being reborn.

Im out!

I hope that maybe I will bump into him one of these days.

Just a hope; I don’t even know where this impulse lead.

Just that no matter where it lead to, I hope it is good.

Because it has been long since something romantically good happens to me - months.

The WORST flirting style EVER!!!!

The WORST flirting style EVER!!!!

AND

im so over and done for

HELP


*updates later*