Updates on hyperventilating.

Currently writing this post in my school’s library – waiting for the incorrigible incessant late comer!

And I am sure that I will be continuing this post somewhere else.

After much concentrated thought, I lost my hyperventilation.

I had to put my head into my work – of course with constant nagging of my conscience and Jan!

It was S.T.D (gosh forgive me for calling you this)

He was the cause of my hyperventilating!

Of course with the help of no other but Jan Rick Mascarina – oh and I almost forgot, Jo…

Why must I be blessed with two bimbos who so totally just seem to really get me in deep shit?!

H-E-L-P

Okay fine, not that deep.

But deep enough to put really thick blushes on my tanned face!

You cannot imagine the feeling I felt unless it was you or unless it happened to you.

I think you’d kill a duck after that.

What happened?

Okay well, it was on impulse.

When I do a thing on an impulse, it usually ends up retarded or the likes!

I think it was Jan who sparked this impulse.

I felt challenged and I took it.

I was waiting for Jan for lunch break.

He came then and (I forgot how it came about) we ended up going to Jo’s class.

On the impulse of wanting to see S.T.D – someone I have a crush on!!!

I repeat – CRUSH – and not some lover or whatever.

Crushing is basically normal but it’s a little bit good for me because it is hardly for me to even have crushes on anyone that stays.

So let’s put to test this current crush.

Anyway, diverting back, so during that impulse, I en route to Jo’s class which was just side by side his class…

Then in the end, when we pulled Jo out of the class, this Chinese guy came out to take an “Everlast” pumps from a corridor, and then this dark guy in spectacles sitting on the mobile school chair was too!

My heart thumped hard – I felt it was him…

And then I almost slammed on Jan trying to ‘get away’ when Jan said that it was him!

The bespectacled dude was Mr. Crush?

I was totally taken aback – from the entire wrong angles – yes.

I didn’t know he wore spectacles. Of course I don’t really mind but I was shock Mr. Crush is Mr. Trash

And then again, NOPE – he is Mr. Crush.

Im fucking superficial sometimes, on impulse especially; im working on it!

Anyway, that wasn’t the worst – I promise more is to come in the later parts – bear with me!

Okay, I think he was wondering if it was ‘the girl’ from the JUMP party, who boldly complimented him and who talked to him as if she already knew him. (Yes I did that – blush)

For some apparent likes of my hypothesis, he peak out of his classroom door.

I was facing Jo, my back faces him.

Jo was like “He’s peaking, he’s peaking, he’s peaking…” then…

Nothing happened! He wasn’t there when I turned.

So then I was like “why was he wearing specs? I want to see his eyes.”

“His eyes are so nice, why he wear specs?!” of course the exclamation was in hush

But it proved to be contrary…

So he went out of his class, AGAIN, this time when I was pushing all my weight on Jan, (pinning him to the wall, opposite his class, to prevent him from going in Mr. Crush’s class!); he went out WITHOUT spectacles! I damn hope he wasn’t listening in(out)… arrgghh

That was such a ‘wonderful’ timing for him to go out of his class!!

Goodness!!! I think I was blushing.

Okay I admit I pretended not to see him initially okay.

Then when our eyes met, I fucking can’t turn away right?

So I said a stupid, “Hey… you…”

He flashed his award-winning smile and I swear I wanted to kill those people rolling around their mobile chairs making those noises.

Totally distracting!

Conversation went like this…

Me: Hey… you…

Crush: Hey.

Me: (not knowing how to fucking pronounce his name) you are…?

Crush: says his name….. (im not saying his name!) , JEAN right?

Me: Yeah… *smiles wildly*(‘cause he remembered my name!)

THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED FROM HERE!!!

Okay I have to stop this madness.

This crush secret won’t be a secret for long. One of my friends is in the same class as him.

And after speaking to her, and confirming she really is in the same class as him I realize that she seemed as if she knows what happened just now! But I’ll just die of embarrassment!

OMG! I cannot believe I just say that!

Me? Embarrassed? I sound like a timid and stupid school girl.

I got to stop thinking about what happened just now! This is madness.

[Inner voice to jean]

You have got to be kidding. You know you’re not like this. What kind of a guy is he made of anyway?

How can he have the power to overwhelm you this way?!

[Over]

Now im finishing this entry on the comfort of my room, sitting on my sofa and recounting today’s madness.

I must admit, the inner voice says it.

I am not that weak when it comes to boys – especially crushes!

Im doomed.

He’s made of something else.

Well, then again.

Maybe it’s just some stupid crush, some emotional impulse that puts me off guard for a little while.

Although it seems horrid, I won’t deny myself the chance of befriending him.

I feel as if a new species of me is being reborn.

Im out!

I hope that maybe I will bump into him one of these days.

Just a hope; I don’t even know where this impulse lead.

Just that no matter where it lead to, I hope it is good.

Because it has been long since something romantically good happens to me - months.