the day and some thoughts

well first of, i must say that since Mira has brought up my all-time happening birthday celebration, this may sound disheartening for those people who love the parties i hold.

however, it will double the pain in me - i may not be celebrating my 19th birthday! =((

i really enjoy throwing great parties..
and i am so honoured that my parties are the ones you people truly love going to.
as you all know my dear people, my mum is expecting to be due this month.
and it is most probably be around my birthday - 23rd August.
well, to those whom i know is planning my party, im thanking you really.
like aww jan, you're a wonderful guy.
if only you we're straight... ewww!
haha. anyway, jan is going into depression.

it's Shen(mr. crush)... jan is jealous of shen - he thinks his bgf is getting pulled away or something.
darly no k. everyone's my friend and i dont want to lose any.
okay. so ive revealed mr. crush's name.
just to remind all sisters, this is still in the crush zone.
i dont think he'd settle anytime now... plus, we're both flirts.

also, the situation is that we are friends with benefits - i dont know, we never talk about this.
it's those spontaneous things. que sera sera.
no one is tied down to no one. i just hope im not just his other woman.
i so totally have enough of being the third party.
for some fateful events in my love dept, i have been the third party at least thrice.
so if Shen is reading this - "please dont lie to jean when she ask if you have other women. she must know cos she prefer it that way"

okay, i must say that i really dont really feel truly satisfied.
i cannot help it, sometimes it sucks but when i think about the future - my future - it's better to wait till the 21st.
if however, they drag it till 30th or if last minute they tell me that i am not eligible, im killing them - no way im going to wait that long.
ima screw the damn milions or billions or whatever...
*to those who dont know what im talking about - just forget i say this, haha

however, i must say too that Shen is really a nice guy.
i hope he really dont end up dumping me after like i dont know. haha
but that's it, if im getting dump for that 21st birthday event, i dont know what to say.
and whatever it is, im fine. im not placing hopes and fears on anything...
im a good girl and i know God looks after me even when im not holy. =))

well today, i spend my day quite well and quite happy.
to Shen, i had fun today =)) but u guys are pigs!!! uggghh
go get yourselves french maids so that you can like have fun while they are cleaning your hostel.
omg, i bet Shen's friends' women will run after me with knives! =0

oh this afternoon, belated birthday boy khalid msn me.
he said he wanted a massage. hahaha, i know dear boy, you love my massage.
it made you go oooohhh and aaahhhh rite? hahaha sure i will, come crash my school k.
it'd massage ur head and neck like i always did. my school got sofa and all. haha

then just when i was walking home.
the most sweetest ever, a dog humping a cat! haha okayy that's Shen talking! like wtf.
i cant believe he thought that was sweet and worst - romantic!
uggh. okayy. so back to what i saw.
this boy in his just turned teenhood, or not even close, was knocking on this window, calling someone.
so the window opened and then he climbed up the sill and he talked to the 'friend'; it appeared to be a girl. it reminded me of me when i was trying to get out of my window to sneak out and flirt with some cute neighbour, in the Philippines.
okayy. the main point is, it's sooo cute. so romantic. so childlike.
innocent and pure, it was i seem to not have now.
not that im already used or sexed - but i have a corrupted mind, so you cannot count me pure.
haha and certainly aint that innocent.

okayy. i want to turn in soon.
just waiting for mr. lost crush to come online.

okay. for the time being, do me a favour and do this.
it's for a very good cause, a research that is being conducted... [LINK]