FYIs

lets see... today i was suppose to sleep in.
but decided not to... so i guess my tiredness now is my final outcome.
was from work... was from a bath... feels so wonderful and fresh... !


today shenath got injured at his rugger match!
poor darling... he's got his foot injured. i seriously hope it wont affect his race performance for track and fields. =(
but whatever, let's wish my darling a fast recovery k! EVERYONE I INSIST you do the same!! lol :D


today i worked... first time ever to come early for work...
had my late lunch-cum-dinner there... nice thai food. uber fantastic really.. should go thai once a week people! come to lemon grass.. lol =))
well, the once-itching-me-the-wrong-way manager is turning out to be a good help.
a little bit sharped tongued but he's not evil...
today he said i did better than yesterday =)) i tot it was the other way round...
thought i kind suck today. lol turned out the opposite. hehe cool


then during closing time... my old secondary school friends came screaming my name from afar.
i thought which idiots lah, haha... nice to see them...
then like shit lor... one of them named RP - republic poly - REJECT POLY!
hmph! but i must say, i had to say something... lol
kinda brainwashed them... then made them change their opinions. lol
RP IS A NEW POLY DAMN IT! not A DAMN REJECT!!! hmph!
woah, i didnt know i love rp so much. lol
but i daresay, RP is going to outshine the rest in our use of technology... so watch out people!

okay enough of this.
my mum started talking abt my future educations again.
i dont know really... she's thinking of local uni... but my dad is open to overseas uni...
i dont know... if i have to go overseas, i want to go to La Trobe Uni... dont know if gd anot..
still too early to pick and choose... must see first. then must consider bf's view next time right?
so yeahs... too early!!! im still in year 1 sem2... haha
but it's at the back of my plans... lets see... =))

the immediate challenge for me now is SEM 2 gpa.
i had a pathetic 2.4 PTS... cos of my lousy aims... i wanted to secure a C... lol
but have to up my pts to 3.8 PTS.... not impossible... quite easy actually...
i have to stop skipping class that's it... and AT LEAST STUDY OF 3 UTs... lol
so to those who want to study with me... esp shenath... pls let me know!!
this week UT is up! =(( dont have time to study... so much for wanting to score... haha
to shenath: i need week 2 maths tuition!!!


the next upcoming challenge is of course - PROFFESIONAL PROFILING.
CE POINTS ALSO... im sure i would be fine... not sure about shenath, lazy bum!
hmms let's see i have to promote some CE talks that SUI! IG is holding..
to RP PEEPS... as follows are the posters for the upcoming talks... i dont know if im releasing it too early but whatever.. this is just the rough gauge..
AND AND... i will be an usher for talks on 12TH(this friday), 17th and 18th talks! 12.30-1.30pm k!? please check ur webmails for more INFOs...

SUI! IG is giving out at least 20 points... so go mad k!!



and of course.. there's more =)) i hope jan dont kill me for putting this up... lol
jan is the Marketting Manager for SUI! IG... very very nice eh... =))

anyway... classmates... im not coming to school tmr.
i have a different agenda. lol =))
but i will be around school, so if you need me for anything.. call or sms... :))
see what you all want... AND I CANT FAST TMR! lol
hehe shit lah!! haha lets fast TUESDAY? can?

okay okay... ciaoz for now!
v v v v v v v v tired... yawns.

just another day.

well, nothing much happened today.
just that at the cafe, something really wrong happened.
to that person who caused it, SHAME on you.
if you dare do so again what you did, you'd wish you were never born in this Earth.
people like you have nothing better to do but to cause harm on people who have been
hospitable to you. fugging idiots.

okayy. im done with the swearings.
the day was alright. didnt meet Shen today tho.
he's probably having family time with his brother and all =))
id probably be seeing him tomorrow.

upcoming events...
1. emcee meeting
2. weblog day camp.
3. photojournalism workshop (still waiting for email)
4. more job at the cafe

and last but not least...
5. MY 19TH BIRTHDAY.

*sorry. was just finish talking to Shen.
yawns. im still talking to nurul syg tho.
we're talking about virginity. hahaha
and dear, i know that id only do it with someone i love too k. dont worry...
i still believe in love even after daryl crushed that belief like previously - i still do
im just waiting for love to come hit me. so yah... =))
but no rush though, im scared of chickening out from love. uggh

okay, wanna go off now.
till next post then...

muahs

my day with beer

okay went to work.
it was fING busy today! and that irritant had to make my day worst!

weird attractions' dying down in me. or so i think...
but i dont think it is up fer him! haha
gosh. there's just something in the ways he touches my hands.

then i went to see gu-gu!
nurul was there earlier - i was kinda late.
bought 3-in-1 and i dont geddit, she find it spicy! twas not even tt hot
anyway, he wasnt there when i came and he wasnt there wen nurul came.
so i was like, "im expecting him to not be there, yet i do hope he is"
but then i did get to see him.
dani found out i was at blk4 with nurul, so they came.
only for him to get ready and go riding.
gosh!
the feeling i felt was like someone slapped me so hard and yet i didnt have the chance to slap them back - that's how i felt like

he came and took his phone saying,
"sorry ladies, i have to go."
and when i asked "why so fast?"
all he had to say was "im late" and i didnt open up my mouth to speak further.

it's not the matter that i saw him and i felt weird,
it's the matter that he had to come and only for my eyes to feast on him for a while.
it isnt satisfying you know.
and also, it was like "a climax cut off" haha. (tts wat nurul and i came up with)

okay so i had a short mandarin lesson with gu-gu! haha
he taught me hippo, beautiful lady/miss, 1million, 10million, and so on.
haha i do enjoy talking to him.
anyway, when we were walking to the mrt, along the long carpark.
we were talking about boys when suddenly WOOF WOOF WOOF came to our hearing range.
later on we ran like mad cos we saw a fucking big dog!!! - chasing a cat
and we thought it was us it was barking and after at! stupid shit
me and nurul only recovered from it until the end of the long carpark - arrrghhh

duh! we laughed about it and so forth, cursed at the dog and whatever we can think off
THEN, the imagination ran wild - what if it were us it was chasing?? gosh

then nurul made us WASTE at least 100m of walk!
she felt like seeing her ex bf who she was just on the phone with!
so i was like, fine, lets go see him.
then we walked like a few metres from the MRT station when he cant be reached!
there goes "a climax cut off" haha

it was retarded today and as always with me and my frens.
yawnns.
still dizzy from the can of beer i drank - i hate beers, this is OFFICIAL
ima hit the sack now, ciaos
hugs!

today hees

Happenings since last entry :

1. i realized that i aint a bitch abt dumping the current ex.
2. met up with the sisters at changi airport - pre-planned for the upcoming gathering
3. i hv been thinking more often of my bitch
4. i called him without any pure hesitation
5. filming is eating my brain up (met the grp on monday)

today : im freaking sick

1. poor pregnant mummy's sick =(
2. chatted with mami and found out he's there
3. went to work
4. ate like a pig
5. called him again just to ease the urge in me

i can think of many reasons why i still have enough love sustained in me for him.
i can think of many reasons why i shouldnt come to him like i use to always do.
i have so many reasons why i have to run to him
i have so many reasons why i just have to stop myself.
and mind you, this is not a poem.

i have been thinking about him more often as i have this few weeks.
let say i have been having him in my subconscious mind and im pretty much aware of it.
this is ultra weird but i guess im just so used to having weird stuff abt me and him.

okay enough about him. i get irritated myself talking about him.
it's like an itch that i cant get off myself scratching.
my holidays so far is full of mixed or i prefer it to be unknown emotions.
now, it is wednesday and the time is 3.02 am - and im still awake!
anyway, i have this weird attraction on this guy.
and i would rather commit suicide than tell anyone about it - i cant even accept it in my mind.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Updates about the Gathering :

Date : Monday, 10th June 2007
Venue: East Coast Beach Park
Theme: Casual Gathering (Camping)
Cash Contribution: $10 per person

Invites
- first degree peeps have been informed!
- 2nd degree friends will be informed very soon...

sisters, do try to be able to ton.
jaja and ling have no excuse to not be able to ton.
with exception of ling's work, then maybe if she really cannot get leave on tuesday, then she can dont ton.
further news - call me or just see the confirm detail latest by Saturday.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Filming Groupies

Shoot Venue : Charcoal @ The Treasury (City Hall)
Time: 12nn-5pm
Jonathan and Alex - do submit the equipment loan form done ASAP.

get to me at mary_jean14@hotmail.com for further clarifications.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know this song has been out quite awhile back, but i wanna feature it here.
I dont know why i have a sudden attachment to this song. hais.

Usah Lepaskan by Taufik Batisah

...

today, work was okay lah.

there was some quarrell in the kitchen.

b/w that chéf that ive grown to detest and another chéf that i find nice.

i dont know till when this strong feeling will subside but for sure i really mean the word detest.

to the extent that i dont want to even eat the food he cooks.

and im all too glad that Shah cooked the staff meal tonight.

wells in my previous entry i talked of this new assistant chéf that had just joined the kitchen crew.

and i talked of my new found hatred about that ass.

gosh.

anyways, i really think that im being sucha workaholic.

but anyways, im really soo tired lah.

so im going to shut up now.

and hang up on my cousin who is on the phone with me.

then go to my novel that calls out to me.

haha.

ok ok.

gtg.

-love love love-

...

today, work was okay lah.

there was some quarrell in the kitchen.

b/w that chéf that ive grown to detest and another chéf that i find nice.

i dont know till when this strong feeling will subside but for sure i really mean the word detest.

to the extent that i dont want to even eat the food he cooks.

and im all too glad that Shah cooked the staff meal tonight.

wells in my previous entry i talked of this new assistant chéf that had just joined the kitchen crew.

and i talked of my new found hatred about that ass.

gosh.

anyways, i really think that im being sucha workaholic.

but anyways, im really soo tired lah.

so im going to shut up now.

and hang up on my cousin who is on the phone with me.

then go to my novel that calls out to me.

haha.

ok ok.

gtg.

-love love love-

out with the girls

after not seeing my girls for quite sometimes, we met up.

though it's not with mei ling and nurul.

me, hajar, hidayah and dinisha only.

we were suppose to have an outing to sentosa.

but due to the rain, it was cancelled.

anyways, today was soo FUCKED! haha.

i meant it in a foolishly great way.

yeah i know, why say FUCKED if it is a good thing right.

wells, the girls have decided to use that as a catch phrase.

with whatever motive, i know nothing!

haha.

anyways, im soo in love with Anne Rice.

why?

wells her novels really captivates me.

The Vampire Chronicles.... it's a collection of novels by her.

you ppl should really like read it.

i dont know what interest me with the beautiful creature of the night.

i guess it's the stories about them.

the way they are described is really alluring.

very captivating.

really makes me want to see them for real.

and i even fathom their existence.

gosh.

now, this is a real FANTASY.

something that only in my wildest dream will happen.

(btw, the new year kiss is also my fantasy rmbr. but this fantasy can happen. only that i dont know when. ahha. but anyways, my new year kiss isnt that spectacular. i was in the arms of an old date, he kissed me on the cheeks and i did too. nothing much to say about that. it isnt romantic. i dont know when will that fantasy come to life. haha.)

anyway, work really is freaking tiring.

cos i havent been really sleeping.

got problem sleeping like shit.

i dont know why.

it's like my mind/soul/whatever it is, being called somewhere or by someone.

i meant like my mind wonders like so much.

i been i have had this kind of probs sleeping but not like shitty as this.

anyways, i hate the new assistance chef.

he keeps looking at me.

and mind you, the last thing i want is for him to fancy me.

i'll seriously puke.

haha.

okay maybe not so bad.

but that's the last thing in my lifetime that id want.

anyways, Fik asked me out this sat.

he was kinda shy about it actually but i respect his tries.

i dont know if it's a confirm thing.

he tried getting my no. (even tho he knows two of his frens has alrdy fail in doing so)

but like i decided.

i will never give my no. i'll only take theirs.

so it depends on me if it pleases me.

but i didnt have the time to do so.

been doing other things lately.

which is WORK.

haha.

anyways, i think i like Ayul(another fren) better than Fik.

i meant it as a friendly comment.

like i said, im not really into bfgf now.

at least not now.

i want to take a break from all this emotional matters.

but i mean i will entertain semi friendly connections.

haha. yups.

okay, 7 things that i want done this month of January.

1) get my mum her bdae gift asap/take her spa/date her for a fine dining.

2) buy a new phone or get an MP3

3) date myself/go buy something for myself.

4) pay off my bill (at lst $50)

5) oh and rmbr to give nurul her present! hahahaha.

6)finish off the novel Blackwood Farm and return it on the due date.

7) go to gym with cousin Azmi

hey hey! wells, had ntg much to do lah.
so here something to see.
kinda bit retarded really.
but just see it here.
have it up at my frenster too.
but yeahs since i said i got ntg to do.
here's the product of it.

anyways, work was great just now.
EXCEPT for someone who just have to really bite me.
as in metaphorically speaking lah.
gosh. and yes i snapped at him GOOD.
i know what i was suppose to do and he just have to blab w/o really knowing anything.
and even though he was way way older than i am.
so what? i had every right to say what i said to him.
so if i was too much.
then sorree but i aint gona take a shit from someone who dont know his facts.

wells, i gtg now.
i need to adjust to a new sleeping strategy i came up with.
a standard 8 hrs sleep.
im becoming sucha pig.
been waking up at past 2pm nowadays.
and it isnt helping me!
+shalom+

-love love love-

im here

wells i was from work.
i called nurul and then we chatted.
wont be chatting with her till my return.
haaahz.
i be going to Genting Highlands.
i didnt wanna go at first.
after what happened at home the other day.
apparently i have to.
haaahz.
nvm, i just hope that ww5 wont start.
cos there is no where i can actually ran off to from there.
haiyoo.
my sweetie will also be on a trip tmr till mon or tues.
haha.
then we chatted awhile and then say bubbye.
haha.
(to sweetie: enjoy loads)

anyways, we were talking about the countdown.
then later on she told me something about some old friend who works there as a bouncer.
there, as in ST JAMES.
she remembered him saying that he wont let me in.
i guess maybe he is still being childish about the conflict we had the other time.
haiz. you know whatever it is.
im OF AGE.
my friends will be OF AGE.
there's nothing that he can try to do will happen.
and as for now till whenever suit.
im still going to countdown to the year 2007 there.
and my year will start nice and good.

i wont deny though that our friendship ended, hurts me.
i cant accept the fact that all the sweet moments, the sad shits we went through are forgotten.
he just chucked me aside and he let his anger and ego just come in the way of our friendship.
but whatever it is.
it's his choice.
i cant fucking do anything about it.
and neither would i say SORRY to him again.
that's all.
if all it takes is his night to be spoilt that he wanna throw our friendship away.
that is his choice.
whatever shit i was there for him.
whatever tears i know of.
whatever comfort i gave.
whatever time i made for him.
will just be forgotten like that.
then i proclaim that that friendship is never real.
AT ALL.
and me spoiling his night isnt as bad as him damaging my emotions about a later issue.
nvm. nvm. nvm.
good luck with everything that he will go through.
more and more.
best wishes to everything he deems dear.
wells, in all things i still rememebered this sentence,
"we've been through so much for me to just leave you like that"
where has that gone?
whatever.
nurul nurul nurul.
i know you know.

wells, update you soon!

-love love love-

im tired

wells, i just got back from work and im really very very tired. haha.
i almost fall asleep just now when i lay down for awhile to charge my handphone. then i remembered that
i already switched on the computer. so damn... i just had to get up and use it for a while. hmms. anyways, im soo hoping for my pay tomorrow but sadly... it wont be out till the evening. i just so hope that my mum really took a day off tmr. i wanna have a time on my own. haha.. wells, not really alone, but with a company that i hope wont be a bad news. haha..

also, to make matters half worst, i wont be able to take my sister out tmr. cos i wont be able to take her out without my pay... haha. i shall have to postpone it to the next day. sadly, my mum wouldn't be able to come with us. i was thinking of treating my mum and my sister to pizza hut or carls jr. i dont know.. just somewhere! haha

wells, im going to try to sleep early tonight. i want to go out energised tomorrow. actually, i dont know why i asked him of all people. haha. wells, yeahs... i dont know. wells, it's nothing personal so yeahs i said to myself why not. haha. anyways, i'll let you all know about it aft the window shopping. haha. hmms, i hope that id at least get my pay at night, if im still at vivo. haha. wanna get that red dress i saw at NICHI fashion city. haha..