Diamonds are forever

So it's been many years of friendship and we stuck it out through good, bad and the ugly. The new year brought about much love and support that we can never thought we can receive from one another.

This time the bitchifive are finally five again with Lyn more available and reachable despite her busy flight schedule. (Lyn isn't in this recent photos because she's in Japan)

With Hajar married we are sure the next one is on the way and we're just finger pointing at one another to step up to that pedestal of bliss.

My instinct tells me it will be Lyn and Peter. Among the rest of us, both of them have been solid but of course with some normal couple irks.

Yours truly is taking it easy and focusing more on other aspects. However, I have recently admitted to feelings towards #hewhowouldsoonbenamed. It's something unexpecting and it crept up so slowly without me realizing it. I find it so beautiful to write about but that will be for another post.

I am blessed to be with these ladies who have always been there to make life sane. Being a strong and stubborn character, I have a lot of impact in their lives but when it comes to needing to be heard and to slap across a point to me, they are never soft about it.

They are far too opinionated to be shut up, and I must say that I am grateful because they become these strong spirited ladies who have grown successful in their lives and careers yet still find the time to be made available, sometimes just to bitch and whine.

When time calls for seriousness and the need to listen, they have always been there.
While they say DIAMONDS are a girl's best friend, you can be sure that she has loves that are on par with diamonds she holds dear.
So similar too with my girlfriends who have loved me and stuck it by me through my seasons of joy, pain and craziness, I have other girlfriends who have made a strong impact in my life that writing about them in paragraph under my long time girlfriends will not do them justice.

These are my ladies... My comrades. And tho I bitch and whine about things they sometimes don't understand, I thank God that they find my advices sound and worth the listen to. I am very much grateful and I pray to continue to persevere in times when everything is so mediocre and all of us are just too lazy or find it such a hassle to be available for one another.

It's always important to have such friends to stick by you and if you have a group that you owe your sanity to at some extent, write it down and share with the world your words of love for them.

Loves xxx

Meet Up With Eshani

It's always nice to catch up with a girlfriend.

We had lunch at Golden Cafe, and had a nice long chat.
But not long enough, nevertheless.
Women hardly have limited amount of things to say to each other.

I finally received her present (the printed one)

We chatted about things that happened lately, outings and her double date with Laura and Mario the other day (another couple friend).

It just hit me that I'm the only one single from all my girlfriends!
I guess I'm bidding my time. It's kind of cool that I'm the last among the girls despite my very early exposure to guys. Everyone seem to have it in their mind that I'd be the first to be married off!

Alas, they're wrong, and I feel a childish happiness having proved them wrong!

As how an ex boyfriend, Daryl, predicted last time, Jar will definitely be the first to get hitched! And it's happening! This June, Jar will be married to the love of her life.

Which makes me think, I should ask Daryl to predict for me. When will I meet that man that's just right for me. Nothing more, nothing less. Perfect for me, not for the world.

Maybe not, he'd prolly say something inconceivable.

Anyway, I already know what I've to do and I will get on to doing it - to make the time for dates. I cannot keep using work and church as excuses if I want to settle down by 27!

I've to keep in mind that I just got 'dumped' by this guy I'm dating because I keep cancelling on him, and now, he doesn't contact me. I couldn't really find the time to catch up or the heart to be bothered, which just goes to say that I don't really feel for him. (Too bad... NEXT!)

Anyway, what I really want to share in this post is about friendship.

Friendship -

It doesn't care where it started, how it went along and where it is going.
The people in it may see each other often, or not.
But when it's real, it's for a long haul.

I'm glad to have met her and the rest of my girlfriends.
They've been perfect despite some moments when they get busy with their love life.

Whatever it is, it's a beauty to see all of my girls blossom to wonderful ladies looking at life in different ways than how they used to. It's heart-fattening to see especially how our friendship has lasted and still counting.

Ahh, fuzzy wuzzy feeling now.

After you've read this, pick up your phone and call your girlfriend (s). Tell them how much you are thankful that they're in your life.

Good day!

My First Ladies' Night since FOREVER

It was my very first 'ladies night' since forever. I usually CANNOT be bothered to go out on a weekday but today Marilyn and I went out for a dinner date with Marvin, one of our cell friend whom we have not seen for ages. He's been busy with work (and perhaps play), but we are glad he's able to join us for a bit of a chill-out.

I introduced them to Nabins @ Sultan Gate.

Source (Click Here)

We had a great talk about EVERYTHING. Teasing especially on the hot topic on interests of Marilyn :)

It's really nice to get to know church friends in the most secular way possible. Away from the holy zone of the church, we get to know just how we all are able to open about our thoughts and views.

It's a wonderful wake up call and something to learn from. Marvin was really insightful in what he shared with us. It has been great food for thought the whole night today. And it's 12.45am, but here i am typing away when i've to wake up at 7am, 6hours later.

Lately, I have been sleeping late. Since Monday that is, but it has been good overall.

On Monday, I enjoyed the Holy Hour with Dapheni, Ninik, Susana, Ranson, Alex and Tim. It is a form of prayer that we enjoy the presence of God in the exposure of the Blessed Sacrament held up by the monstrance.

Source (Click Here)

We prayed before the Blessed Sacrament with regards to our vocations. At least that is what I think Fr. Albert wanted us to do. This month's holy hour topic was with regards to life pursuits. So therefore, we examine what is it that we are indeed looking for. What are we called to do? Marriage or the life of the Religious. I discerned with regards to my job, and also of course my desire to serve, and how is the best way i should do it - with a man He chose to serve beside me or to chose the Great "I AM" who created man? 

We'll see in the months or years to come :)

Yesterday night, I attended mass for the Charismatic Prayer Community 9th Anniversary Mass. I was the lector for the reading yesterday. It was a beautiful experience to be there.

Tomorrow will be a long day for me as I am expecting a LONG LONG meeting at Church on PRE Evaluation & Committee meeting.

So anyway, i shall bid you all adieu for now. Have a great rest ahead! :)

Discernment for Love

Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/love-chmy/3800147894/

It's not really a must to be with someone and to enter a relationship again. It's not mandatory for me to actually think of marriage, thus I'm not rushing into it. I just feel that marriage should really be kept as the 'one and only' phase of life. I always believe that there are that one made for each one, and that marriage will be what make it stronger. I can really see a huge difference now of how I see a relationship now than I see before. And as I see it, I understand why my past relationship that I thought would somehow, one way or another lead to the marriage, had to come to a halt. God is preparing me for something more, something He only know I will be needing.

Don't get me wrong, my ex-boyfriend, no matter how badly we ended, was a good friend, a good lover and a good husband to be, if so to say. However, there have been changes between us that occurred and thus it is where the incompatibility grew and thus the unhealthy defiling nature of human love emerges.The nature of our relationship, thinking back, actually proves to me that if it worked out till marriage, my relationship with God will not be established. And I was foolish because the relationship with God was the one thing that I should have known never to put second amongst other love. So I am thoroughly grateful how God allowed me to 'seek first the kingdom of God'.

Lately, my desire in finding the one is burning. But I'm putting it off, ignoring it, and dousing it with continuous establishment of keeping in mind healthy type of development of love, rather than seeking for the normal 'you like me, i like you, let's go on' kind of relationship. 

Serving in Church gives me the necessity to discern for the one. I've been practising discernment in guys since last year when I was dating Kenneth, my girl friend's guy friend. Where after discerning, God moves me to a 'NO' when I discern faithfully on Kenneth as it comes to the point of dating where I must decide whether to continue further or to stop seeing each other. So I listened to the 'whisper' I believe is God's, and later on in the months, understood why I was happy I ended it.

Then the next guy came, who had the marriage proposal which become the reason why we ended up being in a relationship. He is rich, son of a wealthy family, soft-spoken, spiritual, understanding, of age and we would have made it well, but after 4 months I had to empty myself of him because the discernment period gave me a feeble 'Yes'. So since that guy, I have not been seeing anyone.

I've a guy however, that God seems to be pointing to. BUT, yes a HUGE but is there. I don't think we're compatible. I have seek a extraordinary signs and each time I ask, it's a YES. So now I've stopped asking because I don't want to put Him in a test. Cos even if He points to him, I just don't know how it will all start, begin or even go forth. (Laughs)

I've taken a vow and have promised with my cell members as witnesses that I'm not going into a relationship without the thought of marriage. This is to avoid pre-marital relations, unhealthy mind-set and possession. I kinda, sorta know what I want but I guess it also seems still a bit too young for me that I want to look for a man to marry. Nevertheless, I guess I'd like to see my desires, and to discern for my vocation - if I want to consecrate myself to God or to marriage. I don't think it will be healthy for me to enter Blessed Singlehood as a lay person, so it's either I join the religious or to enter into marriage.

Oh well, I know within the months, I will have my answer. I'm excited actually!

Christmas Updates

I know it has been long since Christmas.
But anyway! here are the pictures of my Christmas Eve and Christmas Day :)

xmas_eve_atJan

It was a nice get together, with a family who's really nice and of course at least a filipino household who tries to make it as fun as possible here in another country. It's always nice to have Christmas at Philippines.
You can really feel the spirit of Christmas, what with the surroundings up and about with people busy and happily awaiting the day of Christ!
There are the songs and the decorations and more!
It is where you can never be frowned upon eating more than you can.
And it is the days of keso de bola.
However, in SG, it might prove a little bit inconvenient to really celebrate to the max.
But hey, we do survived it and yea i still had fun.

Although, it feels mundane and thank goodness i didn't really cry this Christmas.
Tears almost dropped, but better than the previous years when i shed tears because i miss the Christmas i spent decade ago in Philippines.

Sigh.
I miss my grandparents and of course the rest of the family as we celebrate these special occasion.

Christmas Day 09

I missed them more when  my parents proved to be Mr and Mrs Scrooges.

So i headed out to meet my gf Eshani for Christmas lunch over at BaliThai.

Twas really nice :))

And then headed home for a small little supposed gathering at the last minute when my parents said that they cooked the usuals.

I was bombed really, and very infuriated but i manage smiles:)

Headed to Laura's in the night, and i was really late.

I came when the main party was over, but in time for sleepover.

After 12 i succumbed to the drinks, and Laura was actually a great bartender if you really want to get drunk.

But a bad one as well cos i had a freaking hangover that lasted me the whole day.

Was so weak and dehydrated despite the amount of water i downed to battle the effect of the alcohol.

But after that i was fine ;))

The coming year would prove to be very busy, but so far really nice and productive.

Today is the Eve and im quite uncertain how my day will turn out, but im definitely praying for a good one ;))

So good luck and have fun people.

Hugs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

imy baby

i can't wait to see you soon!

Weekend Fun

Saturday

I woke up feeling negative on whether or not my friendship with Jan is actually possible.

So i had to be frank with him, and told him how i felt.

I'm glad to know he still care, and that we need time to work things out.

I went for his production, Dancing Through Seasons, with his mum, brother and uncle.

The show was spectacular, of course, very catty and really bold.
I spotted the obvious great dancers, 1 hot mama and 4 hot gays.
And i was wowed by this break dancer who did a freaking superb headspins for quite a long time.
Jan said his name's Ahmad i think. Haha, name's so old school huh.

I bonded well with Jan's mum and uncle.
Jan's mum and i really don't need to get formal again etc, she likes me and i like her.
No matter the old squabble etc, she understand and we really catch up.
I told her how happy i am that Jan and I are somehow back :)

The album for this post consists of my Fri-Sun happenings...
Saturday was quite omitted because i forgot to bring the digicam when i met Naq.
And my handphone is a lousy camera tool at night in a place without good lighting!
Well anyway, enjoy.

DEC4-6

Hung out with Naq to have lunch after the production.

Billy (naq best friend) and Yvonne (her gf) came down too cos they fetched Naq from work.

I had lunch with Naq at Tong Seng, which i never realized had a second floor.

We were there chatting and chatting, hmm mostly making fun of Billy.. Making him come out of the gay closet.Haha... alright, he isn't gay, just that we girls wana think he is. LOL

After Tong Seng, headed to sisha... Sigh

I don't know why the hell i had to go to Al-tazzaq man.

At first i was just having nice times making fun of Billy and talking kinky with Naq, and smoking sisha madly...

But after awhile...


BOOM!

memory bomb went off.

Naq was raving about her love for *someone* and i, well, i was listening to sad songs thinking of you know who. Haha


BAD VIBE man.

Crazy shit.

I scolded Naqiah for even allowing me to go there. LOL

I guess goodbye Al-tazzaq for the time being... Damn.

So we headed off to Wanna' B, stopped to see scarf here and there.

Got the 2 vendors from 2 different shop excited for goodness sakes why,

and telling me they'll sell me the $10 scarf for $6 and $5 respectively instead.

Since i was out of bucks, i declined despite the great offer.

At Wanna' B's we had M&M moments.

Superb dessert for sharing! Try it..! (see the only ice cream i took picture of in the album)

Headed home after that...

The effect of al-tazzaq lasted through the night too... Sigh.

I hate sleeping alone when it's cold.

Sunday

Headed to church and the sermon was all about making way.. moving along and ahead... forward etc.

I took that as a sign and i listened well.

It also contained that i should release the junk in the house(heart), the hate, the grievance, the offense etc...

So that God can come in and reside in it...

I aim to do that by new year... and by then i should have gone on ahead, steered clear of the dark clouds and making the journey right.

I have more or less new year resolutions done up in my head.

This time i'm going to write it down so that i will remember them!

Afternoon

Meet up with Eshani for pinoy lunch...

I don't want to keep thinking about it, but it just seem to come to my head. 
Sigh... just can't believe it... oh well...

We ate like pigs and crazy.. haha!
I mean u can see the amount of desserts we got. Damn...

Later on Sandu came and we three headed to cineleisure for a movie.
Nothing was really great to see but we settled for Zombieland.
Twas funny and disgusting! Haha
Sandu was cute... She's worst than me in terms of screaming and the adrenaline rush. And i thought i was bad. LOL

Later aft the movie, she had to leave so we dropped her off to the bus stop.
Then Eshani and i headed to TF where she got the cute flowery top in the album.
As a present, she got me that little black dress. It was all on sale! Lol
Thanks sweety...

After walking around Orchard Central from TF, we headed home.
65 was quite fast and i guess since i dozed off i didn't die in the bus... hate bus rides really.
I turned in later after supper and then felt guilty i haven't studied for ITSM exam on Tuesday! Yikes!

Will do it today, just want to nap first, mug and then sleep till the afternoon, and go to battle.
After that, dinner with the Bitchifive! Loves.

This is it

I spent my day doing what i really want to do, and i felt good.
I gave some time to my siblings, Ana and Zak, playing soccer with them.
It tickles me at how my brother, who's only 2yrs and 3 months, has learnt to dribble a soccer ball along the long stretch of corridors, within a few minutes of my instruction.
I felt happy at his accomplishment and i felt happier that the three of us bonded well.

The last two days of having stayed in the whole afternoon baby sitting felt really wonderful too.
Like yesterday, when i brought Zak, Ana and her bff, Jannah to the park to ride the bike and run around the big playground.
I fed from that happiness despite having a lot of things in my mind.
They provided me with the strength to keep my head together and i love them for that.

So after spending some time with the kids, i stayed in solitude in my room, till i got the urge to continue with my plan to enjoy the night by the beach.
I took with me my handy scarf so i can use it to lay on the sandy shore.
Before heading straight to the beach park, i headed to the Platinum Lounge.
I didn't even feel a kick though -.- nor even felt warm.

Damn useless and waste of money...
Continuing, i sat by the beach and as songs played in my ears, my whole 2 years plus of relationship flashed before my mind's eye. The memories acted like the smoke against my eyes, and you know the outcome.

I lay on the beach, looking up at one star, then the next star appeared, and then the next thing i know, the sky was littered with more.
I relayed to them through my emotions whatever i've felt and i'm still feeling.
It was low tide so i didn't bother to really 'talk' to the sea...
But the moment the tide starts coming in, i know the sea wants to listen.
And so i told it the same things i told the stars.
It felt nice and i knew the best thing to do next: call tita sol.

I had to talk to her. She'll know the answer i seek.
I didn't need to tell her much besides finally admitting to her that i'm riding solo now.
My clan will know by tomorrow, and i just need to call the grands to officiate it...

Tita Sol relayed to me things that truly made me realize a lot of things and make me come around.
It's really liberating, despite my fears but it gave me the reason to be positive, truly. Cos i know things now that i didn't know or wouldn't know if i didn't call her.

She told me to come to her again to give status report, and she gave me the timeline.
I'm glad to have her and i guess i never truly appreciated her until now because i didn't really take her seriously. But now i had to, cos i accepted her, and what she can do and what part she plays in my life.
We never really truly got along, but when needs like this comes, she always come through.
My entire clan do.
And honestly, i'm strangely amused how they stand to their policy all through despite the many drama.

I have to let go of doing myself damages and she warns me that if i do that, i'll only seek trouble.
It's imminent, and i need to make sure i take care of my well-being or i'll land myself on something nasty.
Therefore, i guess the phase of bad habit truly has got to stop. Best (nurul, my bff) has warned me too.
And i guess it's just about time that as this pack finished, it's going to be the last.

After giving me those advises, she told me to go home and not hang around the beach emoting. Haha

So anyway, I'm going to end it here..
I know you guys are half confused at whatever i'm saying as it is somehow encrypted. (sorry..)

But so to summarize what i'm to do:

I've the strong green signal to really hoist the anchor off my ship, land it to the solid ground, and begin the repair. Then, set sail and let the ship bring me to the land that is rightfully belonging to me, instead of just staying in the wrecked ship, feeling heart-broken and damaging myself with the bad habits i can succumb to. And as i set sail, there's no steering back.

Read between the lines or just take it as it is i guess. It depends on how your brain works really :)
I know Best will hate reading this, she calls this treasure map talk. haha