FIRST QUARTER=)

there are many things i fear in life,
and yet many of those are things i want to brave.
there are many things that people fear, even love - that is my fear
never have i thought that fearing love was possible
and yet, fearing love is a little bit nonsensical..

i thought, "how can one fear love? when love is supposedly the one thing in the world that makes us smile"
then this created a paradox, "so why do love end up making people cry, broken and in solitude?"

that leaves me scratching my head and just pushing these thoughts away.
i was thinking of it just a while ago.
i thought about my current situation with my loving boyfriend.

despite having faith and a certain amount of trust on our love and on him,
i cannot place a sure certainty about what the future holds.
and yet, not seeing it and not trying it creates more questions for me.
so then i realize that i am quite happy that I'm brave enough to take this path in life
and so i encourage myself to really just let what be to be.

everyone goes through a transition, a metamorphosis and a change of some sort.
i am going through those i mentioned above.

a transition, a metamorphosis, a change - these I'm going through
because my views on love has changed...
with him, I'm seeing how i missed out on being really nicely treated.
i will never want to ruin these things we are building and shaping...
despite what people say and how people shall come to break us down, im hoping that we will have enough understanding and faith to hang on.
this goes especially for me... for i know i am weak - i tend to slip away...

the first month with him - a month of trial and error, testing, experimentation
second month - realization that our past should be forgotten and that we mus focus more on us
as the third month comes (which is today!!) - we have seen how we have developed and how we can make things work even better

I've have made somethings for him -
for i believe that first quarters are the start or the entrance of the doorway to the next level.
if we survive another quarter and another and another... and that we are still strong.
it thus then mean that we are really having something real and something strong. too strong...
but time is still young, fresh and still mutable...
frustration and mistakes can still ruin us, but then im willing to make things work..
i am willing to give him all the aid i can to make it work...
in time i guess i'll know if we are the ones to be... for now... que sera sera...
im loving him and im going to be good -

no more games, no more unfaithfulness
no more sidelines, no more sideplates, no more junkfoods

im going to try to give my best in this relationship.
although there will always be fear, i will see how it is with him..


darling... happy FIRST QUARTER *3 months
and this is for shenath thomas dias...

im naked around you
does it show
you see right through me
and i cant hide
im naked around you
and it feels so right
*click the yellow words

darling, i love the way you make me feel.
and that's why i cant hide from you
hugs and loves
take care