TO MY BEST GUY FREN

i dedicate this post to jan rick mascarina...
in due reason of being such a bitch and a horrible best girl-friend

jan huwag kang iiwak ha pero this is from my heart.
i love you my friend, my bitch, my slut... whatever...

yihao has told me about how you felt about the other day
i didn't think you mean what you said about sa pagka time mo time mo, pag sya, sya lang...
i know i haven't been such the bgf that i ought to be
and i can tell you that i haven't been a good girlfriend either.
so parang sa totoo fair and square lang kayo

i have told you that i will divide accordingly my time for you
cos i know that nasanay kana sa akin...
and i think that even ako din nasanay na
i can see you're not the same either...
parang naging malayo ka...

sa buong days ng holidays hindi man kita na meet
not because 24/7 ko syang kasama pero kasi i was busy with work too
since holiday yun, si aunty ko nag-ask na i work more...
pero huwag mo sanang naisip na hindi ko even plan to meet you at all those days apart form last sunday
i did but you were busy and i feel unfit to go out either...
maske nga magpunta sa bash ng friends ko hindi ko nagawa eh...

pero i want you to know that you are one friend that i know understands me and dont judge me.
no matter how bitchy i am to you... it is for you own good you know... diba
and thank you for the advises you think i didn't heed
i did but not as a whole... pero konti per konti..
huwag na huwag mong iisipin na he's taking you away from me...oops i mean he's taking me away from you... lol gays
no he isn't... he respects our friendship no matter how anti-social he may seem diba?
maske ask him pa, kapag merong time na maske sino na maynasasabi or nagtatanong nag seksualidad mo, de-nedepensa kita.
alam na alam nya yun, kaya alam nya to respect our friendship.

also, yung araw na yun, i didnt know you mean it na nagalit ka
parate kanaman kasing demanding as a joke diba.
so i guess hindi ko take yun seriously.
so talagang talaga im sorry if i ever made you feel less important than you were before.
i haven't been myself lately...
even with shenath, i haven't been myself lately...
now however that i have finally figured out why i felt as such, i can tell shenath about the things im going to tell him tomorrow.
pero hindi pala nyon tungkul sa bitch ko.
tungkul yun so indecisiveness ko.
at sa mixed emotion na nararamdaman ko
and i think you have subsconciously made me feel guilty...

so i think this should help.
sa lahat nagkulang sa aking friendship for you, sorry.
sa lahat ng mga nasasabi kong hindi maganda, im sorry.

this whole entry is dedicated to you, my friend.
thank you for always being there...
and for not judging me horrible even for everything that i did that you know about.
thank you that even tho hindi mo gusto si shenath, you still understood me.
and thank you for being protective over me.
thank you for being my pillar...

thank you dear friend...
and im sorry for everything horrible a bgf can ever do.
muacks! haha

this is you and me
just that you're shrek
and im donkey
=)) okay?

love,
jean