reasonings

last night as things went across my mind
as i lay thinking about some things;
about how much love and discontent i have felt
and how much i can dare to try again
so since i couldn't sleep i crept to my mummy's room
to see my dear brother and to calm myself
i saw how my mum was; tired and exhausted
but she's still holding on
for the love she felt for my brother
but they are of blood so love comes naturally
blood love is unconditional and is natural in my family
so is so any other love...?
pondering over the things that i hardly knew
i hardly felt nor hardly even thought would happen
eats me up more often than not
somehow however i have already thought about my answer
later when i meet him, i know what it will be...
however, his actions towards me will still either spoil or improve my decision...