Nostalgic Me

did another day of 5-10 shift.

i swear if i had another day of that shift, id end up a murderer
it's good im still able to suppress my dislike of my aunt's 'efficient' worker

no doubt that's an overrated statement
all i see is my cousin and me working properly, that's even under rated


anyway cant expect much from those people
i dont know, maybe they tend to work harder in other things.
yeah, like lazing around and willing me to take care of everything

anyway, their actions wont ruin my mood
i need a break from being so pissed off yesterday.

i have developed a new way of suppressing dislike against a situation
yeah... i did... to those who know me well enough, yes i psycho-ed myself to feel better
at work, anywhere... but i doubt the mood swing will be suppressed.
i think my way of psycho-ing myself has mood swings as the outcome.
oh i dont know... haha it's a theory... a stupidly weird one

anyway, i do feel more lively and enlightened today
i dont know the source but i feel that i have let loose negativity today
should do more dancing...
i dont dance for leisure anymore, nor for entertainment... but i do it when i feel too tired

to the sisters, yeah i miss dancing.
i miss the times when we hold the attention of the whole school or even the public
remember the national day dinner dance? lol that was a colorful dance.
i doubt that was even dancing right? haha twas like jumping around and still getting all the attentions

then in school, i do miss the times when everyone anticipates our item
always ever ready to clap madly for us.
when the item has ended, they always praise us for the wonderful performance we ourselves find isn't at all mind-blowing!
then daily in school, everyone regarded us as 'BITCHES' exception of ben loh
ben loh, i remember has been itching to be called prince bitch!!
hilarious... it seemed only yesterday, and now, he's all grown up, bitching around almost everyone... lol

then the terrorizing we did to some poor people.
i swear i am sorry for making people cry...
but i assure that i have repented and have been karma-ed.. lol
i think ive cried a NILE within my teenagehood..
i dont think i can cry again, i dont want to... lol

thinking about secondary school, i miss the OLD CLIQUE
it saddens me to think that we dont even talk to one another anymore...
at first it broke apart due to the Azim-Shaistah-Hajar love triangle

that was the long term damage to our clique actually.
haiz... there was initially 3 girls- me, vanessa, shaistah-, 5 guys- azim,venga,kartik,kuma,salihin
of which there were automatic members like hidayah, hajar, puwarma and of course daryl...

i think i only have one pic of all the brothers together.
i remembered the night conferences we all had, the way everyone in school looked so afraid,
i remember a lot of hilarious things that had happened
especially the part when me and azim got caught in the boys toilet... lol
OKAY STOP THE DIRTY THOUGHTS.

we were all daring each other.
so then this azim wanted to take my bag and put it in the boys toilet
then apparently i didnt let it go, so i got dragged in.
then from afar, the so call Head of department, Mr Chiang, saw!
lol we were both reprimanded... but azim has to do physical punishment. lol
i didn't get anything tho... just a 'talk' with him that ended up in a screaming fiesta. lol

i didn't mean to be a rebel... i intended to be a good girl. haha
anyway of course thinking about secondary school, i felt the happiest and then the saddest
of which i refuse to go into detail
oh and i remember the enemies i made, hmms i dont know if they are enemies, but i swear they itched me the wrong way. lol

i dont think i made any OBVIOUS enemy. hmms
they didn't show me that they are my enemy... i dont know why.
even if they dont like me, they just shut up and go... oh well, i think twas cos of the clique.

haiz... i do really, really miss the clique...
i wish we could have a reunion... but not now or soon this year.
i dont wish to see some person yet. neither does that person, im sure.
it would just dampen the whole happiness and celebration
and i bet these people would wait for my PARTIES to be invited to as a way of reuniting.
basically the only reunion that can happen is most probably on my birthday party.

hmms maybe my 20th birthday? i hope so.
we shall see. but i want my big 20 celebration to be a bit smaller than my 18th.
lesser invites... hmms but i doubt it...
even the automatic invitees doubt it.
if i say that there will be a small gathering, it will explode.

yawns. let see. i want to leave nostalgia already
i miss another person too... shenath... haha
he and i had been discussing a lot of things, but i appreciate the things he do to handle my moods.
i dont know whats wrong with me lah... i get to negative sometimes..
but whatever, i think we'll be fine... =)) he's sure, so im sure...

okay ciaos!