I got stuck somehow but i am delighted now that i've pull myself out of the rut that the ex lover had almost dragged me into.
Friday was also a big irritating but NICE night out with Naq.
Irritating because i kept thinking about someone in particular, and honestly, it was due to that thought that made me succumb to my impulse expenditure.
Naq and i were like saying we don't want to spend so much, ya-da-ya-da, but then we ended up still spending $30 each to the minimal -.-
All thanks to sisha and the arabian drinks from Nabin! OMG! but the Laban Wardah was awesome! +.+
Since the happening was at night, my Tribe being a useless camera tool didn't help out much. I only manage to take a shot of Naq (enjoying halo-halo), and so the rest of the pictures are still with her. Boohoo!
It was such a nice chill out night with Naq, where we talked about everything!
Like gossips on sex, scandals, gays, guys, and also definitely about ourselves :)
We went home separate and i took a lonesome but nice ride back home.
When home, the ex text asking me to tell him if i was home as he doesn't want to worry.
So alright, i responded and we kinda talked okay, until i got mood out when he kept telling me to quit smoking so much. Blah-blah-blah
Yep, i've kinda started a phase. I call this a phase because i cannot be long-hooked with fags because i dislike it. And so i really don't know why i've picked it up again -.-
I guess it felt like a company of my tears and it kinda make me forget that i haven't been eating.
Well, it ain't a healthy habit and so does everyone says.
I appreciate their support and encouragement, but know that soon i will get over this phase.
But not now, not soon.
I got in bed by 4am and i woke up to a Saturday morning of family day event fun organized by the events company i am doing freelance with.
Met Laura at 8am and thank goodness Darren and Raymond didn't make much fuss.
The job scope was to be game marshal.
My duty was to take down scores and tabulate, but apparently, it had to do much more than stand around cheering the family on -.- I had to run around the muddy lanes.
Here are some pictures :)
 |
| Showcraft EVN family day Eastman Chemical |
It was overall a fun day! I got home all tired due to the lack of sleep.
And thank goodness for Darren who took care of the staff's welfare gotten us breakfast, else id gone without food the day entire day.
Yes, i forgot to eat my lunch.
Earlier in the day, the ex contacted me, and still talking about his wants of establishing a friendship.
Of which, i was definitely still reluctant.
After Saturday when i consulted with Laura, i've thought that whatever happens, i have to keep away from any other form of intimacy, as it will not be fair for me, being a girl who will definitely get entangled to emotions, and thus will be an anti-catalyst of moving on with my life.
I relayed my thoughts to him that evening and he said that he doesn't want a permanent separation but he'd want to establish friendship FIRST which honestly, we didn't have.
I was like, "WHAT!?".
I kinda have no need for confusion so in any case, i guess i didn't pretty respond to that with any more questions. At that point, i felt my guts backed away. Sigh.
I fought the urges to question him further about his statement and to comment how contradicting he has truly become. He's just playing with my emotions i guess. He tells me that he still loves me and misses me etc. But i keep feeling that somehow he just need me to be his friend to get over me. But i work quite the opposite, i'd want to get over him first and then only i can try treating him as a friend. So how now brown cow?
Sunday was quite alright i guess.
Met up with Juliet, a party props supplier i met over at meetup, who wants me to be her contractor to organize birthday events etc. I'm currently awaiting the events specifications.
It's been quite awhile since i actually organize birthday parties. Hmm, wish me all the best aites! :)
After that met the cousins and my old 2hot peeps who used to work for my aunt's business.
Met at Istanbul area, at this point i've run out of my bad habits and ive asked Bir to get me a pack which he outrightly refuses telling me "It's for your own good".
Well, Azmi couldn't refuse me so i still got my bad habits going... Hmm
After the small reunion, i got home and i just had to know the answer to a suspicion that has been bugging me.
And correct as i can be, the ex has added back on FB the one reason for us to get shaky.
Like seriously, i was mad not because he added her back at the context of friendship with her.
But he totally disregarded my feelings, and not even thinking of my the repercussions to his action.
He knows that we have had problems which is her as a cause and despite having deleted her as a prove that she meant nothing to him, he totally went back on his words.
Come on! It was a fucking wrong move really.
So then i guess i decided, there's no point really.
I was right that he ruined things and he framed me to initiate a break up just so he could add her up again.
Lovely and a very nice itch really. Well, he can say whatever to deny and contradict everything, which he is all that he's good at really, but i will never believe him again. Not ever.
So much for professing his undying love for me. Guys, really cannot be trusted 100%.
Remind me again why i stayed 2+ years with a guy who cheats emotionally? Well, i chose to be ignorant. And as much as i loathe him, i loathe myself too for tolerating his contacts with her when i didn't form solid contacts with the ex before him, who he constantly feels insecure about. Sigh.
He just cannot fathom how much his action totally contradicted his position.
And what's worst? He compares my worth and values to her! Also, he blames me for everything.
I have cried my last batch for him. As much as i can help it, i will never let another one drop for him.
Not for any more guy for that matters.
Today i didn't have school.
I got out of my house and went around Pasir Ris to Tampines to cash out my cheque which as futile, as my boss has closed the cheque so i had to drop it in and get it only after 2pm tomorrow! Yawns.
The fight continued today and lasted till the afternoon, only settling down after he found out i have retaliated by adding my ex-boyfriend who he was obsessed about.
So he can add his and i can't add mine? What a sore loser!
Everything and every little thing he says which contradicts make me really think he's a fucking liar.
And as it is, i'm feeling hatred for him.
I hardly hate anyone my whole lifetime of living, but he and his ex definitely won first place.
I rest my case.
I don't want to have anything to do with him ever again, and i've fully decided on that.
I'm going to keep by my words and i hope that this is the last time i've to painstakingly talk about him.
Even after my trip out of town, i am pretty much settled on my decision.
I don't think i've much reason why not. Unless, i go softie again.
I hate hating people, which is why, i don't end up hating anyone for good. Just not built for hatred.
But i guess this is a different context altogether.
So long, goodbye farewell, Jeanath.
And thank goodness for Darren who took care of the staff's welfare gotten us breakfast, else id gone without food the day entire day.
Yes, i forgot to eat my lunch.
Earlier in the day, the ex contacted me, and still talking about his wants of establishing a friendship.
Of which, i was definitely still reluctant.
After Saturday when i consulted with Laura, i've thought that whatever happens, i have to keep away from any other form of intimacy, as it will not be fair for me, being a girl who will definitely get entangled to emotions, and thus will be an anti-catalyst of moving on with my life.
I relayed my thoughts to him that evening and he said that he doesn't want a permanent separation but he'd want to establish friendship FIRST which honestly, we didn't have.
I was like, "WHAT!?".
I kinda have no need for confusion so in any case, i guess i didn't pretty respond to that with any more questions. At that point, i felt my guts backed away. Sigh.
I fought the urges to question him further about his statement and to comment how contradicting he has truly become. He's just playing with my emotions i guess. He tells me that he still loves me and misses me etc. But i keep feeling that somehow he just need me to be his friend to get over me. But i work quite the opposite, i'd want to get over him first and then only i can try treating him as a friend. So how now brown cow?
Sunday was quite alright i guess.
Met up with Juliet, a party props supplier i met over at meetup, who wants me to be her contractor to organize birthday events etc. I'm currently awaiting the events specifications.
It's been quite awhile since i actually organize birthday parties. Hmm, wish me all the best aites! :)
After that met the cousins and my old 2hot peeps who used to work for my aunt's business.
Met at Istanbul area, at this point i've run out of my bad habits and ive asked Bir to get me a pack which he outrightly refuses telling me "It's for your own good".
Well, Azmi couldn't refuse me so i still got my bad habits going... Hmm
After the small reunion, i got home and i just had to know the answer to a suspicion that has been bugging me.
And correct as i can be, the ex has added back on FB the one reason for us to get shaky.
Like seriously, i was mad not because he added her back at the context of friendship with her.
But he totally disregarded my feelings, and not even thinking of my the repercussions to his action.
He knows that we have had problems which is her as a cause and despite having deleted her as a prove that she meant nothing to him, he totally went back on his words.
Come on! It was a fucking wrong move really.
So then i guess i decided, there's no point really.
I was right that he ruined things and he framed me to initiate a break up just so he could add her up again.
Lovely and a very nice itch really. Well, he can say whatever to deny and contradict everything, which he is all that he's good at really, but i will never believe him again. Not ever.
So much for professing his undying love for me. Guys, really cannot be trusted 100%.
Remind me again why i stayed 2+ years with a guy who cheats emotionally? Well, i chose to be ignorant. And as much as i loathe him, i loathe myself too for tolerating his contacts with her when i didn't form solid contacts with the ex before him, who he constantly feels insecure about. Sigh.
He just cannot fathom how much his action totally contradicted his position.
And what's worst? He compares my worth and values to her! Also, he blames me for everything.
I have cried my last batch for him. As much as i can help it, i will never let another one drop for him.
Not for any more guy for that matters.
Today i didn't have school.
I got out of my house and went around Pasir Ris to Tampines to cash out my cheque which as futile, as my boss has closed the cheque so i had to drop it in and get it only after 2pm tomorrow! Yawns.
The fight continued today and lasted till the afternoon, only settling down after he found out i have retaliated by adding my ex-boyfriend who he was obsessed about.
So he can add his and i can't add mine? What a sore loser!
Everything and every little thing he says which contradicts make me really think he's a fucking liar.
And as it is, i'm feeling hatred for him.
I hardly hate anyone my whole lifetime of living, but he and his ex definitely won first place.
I rest my case.
I don't want to have anything to do with him ever again, and i've fully decided on that.
I'm going to keep by my words and i hope that this is the last time i've to painstakingly talk about him.
Even after my trip out of town, i am pretty much settled on my decision.
I don't think i've much reason why not. Unless, i go softie again.
I hate hating people, which is why, i don't end up hating anyone for good. Just not built for hatred.
But i guess this is a different context altogether.
So long, goodbye farewell, Jeanath.
No comments:
Post a Comment