not the expected end of my 20th year

well, in about 2days and a few hours, as stated above, i will be bidding adieu to my 20th year.
as my 20th year ends, i know that i have learnt a few things that are valuable and beneficial.

this isn't going to be my personal view or take of what i have gone through and learnt in the 20th year.
but i'm writing just to make myself feel better.

so on my birthday, which is 23rd August 2009, i really don't know what i should be doing.
I know i'd want to go for Mass to ask for forgiveness, blessings and of course faith and strength.
There are ordeals in my life currently, some that are inevitable and some that are still in transit.
Despite all that, i know i can survive it all and make it.

but as of now, i'm still quite buried, and honestly, i don't think birthdays are fab if one of your loved ones is not feeling the vibe just because there are some decisions that are already made.
so what if we're establishing friendship, does that mean that one can't be merry and be there for me when despite it all, i am still loved and cared for by that individual.
i don't get it.

well, nevermind i guess.
honestly, i want to just escape. maybe i'll do that.
have been wanting to for awhile now. at least get out and smell fresh air...
it'll be nice.

loves.