liquor goodbye

my day developed from funny to cranky.
was having some nice talks with the boyfriend and then BOOM!

it happened.
it wasn't such a big deal in the beginning, then i think it caught up on us.
it was about our drinking intakes.

there were excuses he gave to back up his situation.
of which i completely dismiss as bullshit.
of course i must say that i do feel i was little bit harsh now as i type this.

the main agreement that i had wanted and that we compromise on was...

for him; drink with his boys/brother ONCE weekly. and not whenever he has $$$

for me; drink occasionally during ladies' night and with him

then it didn't work out.
it was as if there was that barrier in between our comprehension after this initiation.
we both could not see reason.

he was kind of difficult in the beginning.
and of course i was too.

i have never really stopped my habit for anyone.
and then for him, i dont know why i felt as if i have to compromise.
he is concern about how much i have been drinking of this late.
then again, i reasoned out that this is due to the holiday, and that it dont happen on school day.

it took us quite awhile to process this solution.
took us quite a number of words and persuasive act to actually penetrate to each other the
solution.
the solution rendered a lil weight on my side of the see-saw.

why?

because as of today, 3rd September 2007.
i shall cease drinking in the sake of getting my overly-liqour-obsessed boyfriend to cut down.
i trust that he will follow suit to what he himself has agreed on.

if he dont, and ever i find that he lie to me. i guess that would show a lot of things.
you see i have undergone this situation before, pertaining drinking.

on this one night that i got drunk,
where i felt that at that point, the lover has lost to me.
it was cos of my drinking that kinda pull me and that ex apart.

well, it was the past but i must say that i felt so hurt that i couldn't do anything but to just let things be as well.
it hurts and i dont want the boyfriend to feel that same regret i felt over some stupid drinks.
i didn't give up drinking but i vowed that i will never get drunk without real supervision.
of which i know i kept that vow.

but i never vow not to drink nor even think of stop drinking.
i like drinking. not as a drunkard but as a liquor appraiser =))

this time around, however, i am willing to give that up.
im not drinking when i go to club anymore.
of which i do think i would go from that lifestyle quite eventually.
so short a time, so many changes.

to those sisters, i know your screaming "yes!" cos someone has made me stop.
go on ... enjoy all you want! =P

and then so what of him?
he's going at it Once weekly or upon MY APPROVAL.
if he do not abide, no matter how hurtful, i think ima have to brave his punishment.

i love you dear.
im glad we have talked this out and sorted them quite fine.
no matter how small the issue is, i hope you understand me.
i know you do. and im sure you know that this agreement is long term.
so dont try to be funny and pretend to dismiss this issue in the future.

with all love,
jean

p.s. to the boyfriend

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