EX FLAMES; Let it burn ...

so i sat myself down for this super long and juicy post.
i was thinking of how to start it, then again i realize that writing should come from
experience and it is full of emotions when it is spontaneous.
so here i go...

i dedicate this post to :
1. PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TRYING TO GET OVER THEIR EXES
2. PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL STUCK WITH THEM
3. PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO GET THEIR NAMES CLEARED OFF THEIR EXES
4. PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TRYING TO CONVEY THE MESSAGE THAT "I DONT LOVE HIM LIKE I DID"
5. PEOPLE WHO JUST FEEL INTERESTED IN EX FLAMES' PROBLEMS

i cannot promise that this post will help, but at least i hope that it can get you thinking.

People ask me if i still love my ex flame, who happens to be my very real first love.
Sometimes, i feel that i do still but then there are times that i dont. WHY?
I did not understand why i felt as such until it comes to mind that i am not as in love with him as i used to be.
There was a time when i can straight away say that i do love him still.
There was a time that he is all i think about and i admit that he is the only content of my heart.
However, that time is already in oblivion.

We decided to call our relationship off on April 2006 after officially going on for 4 months and unofficially being together for almost a year, after "almostly" being together for 2 1/2 years. (Yes, long long long emotional ties...)
My story with him is what i call the bittersweet side of my life.

So, after the official break, we still went on till i completely left him on November 2006.
Along those moments, i was dating other guys, he was with other girls too.
It was really horribly fun. I learnt a lot and i hurt a lot...
I swallowed my pain and i learnt to be strong.
If it wasnt for him, every strength that i have now is non-existence.
Because of him, i resisted that one person i used to love so much - him.

WHY i left him? It was the last nerve he pulled. It was the last bite i can give him.
He did not have faith in me, he was too childish, he was complacent due to my love for him, he LOVED his friends more than he did our relationship.
I knew he loved me, i felt it through his touch, the way he looked, the way he calls on me and the way he kisses me.

He has something lacking in him, A MANHOOD - he do not stand on his own principles, he did not have his own back, his own mind and his own needs and wants.
Honestly i say it here that i am happy.
WHY? Because no matter how much i loved him, i did not have sex with him. It would be much harder to let go if he took my first blood.

The good side of him is that, he was there when i needed him. He was there when i need someone to cry on, he was there to hold me and to take me away from other storms.
Even though he claims he is not there, he WAS.
Even though he claims he does not need to put me first, he DID.
Even though he seem to be able to see me cry, he COULDNT.
Even though it seems that he would choose anyone over me, he DIDNT.
Even though as if he will turn and leave when i anger him, he STAYED.
Even though he seem as if he dont love me, he DID.
And even though it seems as if he dont need me, he just so DID...

Im a sucker for those...

So, now even though everyone still says that we both will end up being together again.
Though everyone says that i wont resist him, especially that one friend who was the cause of the end of our relationship, I SHOWED EVERYONE that i can resist him.
All the time that i chanced upon the place he is, be with the people he is with, go to the place he goes and go to his grand uncle's place, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I STILL WANT TO BE WITH YOU DARYL.

Get a life and stop thinking that i still bother to be your future.
Be wise enough to know when to feel that i am trying my luck to get you back.
I admit i ALMOST tried to. But i could not, i was too overwhelmed by those horrid things that you are now.
BUT IF I HAVE WANTED TO DO THAT LIKE YOU THINK I ALWAYS DO, I WOULD HAVE DONE SO THAT DAY YOU CALLED ON ME.
so to you all, let me move on and stop pressing on me stories that you think can get to me and force me to be emotional.

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That was my ex flames problem.
People who are not updated in those department do assume on things A LOT.

I know there are those of you who are still in that phase of "getting over the past".
No one is trying to tell you to be in a hurry. IF THEY ARE, be assertive enough to get over them at your own phase with the GOAL that you are LETTING GO - and please let them know about it.
You need not set yourself a time to get over them, because to my perspective, getting over someone just happens and when it does, you will know it.

LEMME GIVE YOU THREE ADVICE:

1. THERE IS NO ONE BUT YOU WHO CAN DICTATE YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY
2. THERE IS NO ONE BUT YOU WHO CAN TELL YOURSELF HOW TO LET GO
3 YOUR FRIENDS ARE JUST PILLARS YOU CAN LEAN ON BUT THEY CANT BE YOUR SALVATIONS

Nothing special really. This are the things that i have gained knowledge of.
Some of us tend to think that others can help us get through this.
Most of us should be familiar with the phrase "It's all in the mind..."
But then again, most of us are familiar with the saying "It's easier said than done!"
So whatever you do, both of them are true according to your own beliefs.
No one can force it on you and no one should.
As friends, all of us should do is just be there for them.
No matter how annoyed you are about having to hear the same subject over and over again, some just uses this technique to getting over that ex flame.

WHEN TO LET IT BURN?
- When you are ready to let things go (no one knows except you!)
but if you as hopeless and you dont know when, then have some alone time to reflect and focus.

- When there is nothing else to be done about your situation but to move on.
of course you have to ask second opinion about this... sometimes, those pillars have been there long enough to know about your situation. just tell them to be neutral.

- When you have reached the point when you are worn out and beaten up to pieces by the very person you have loved
psychological studies finds that people who have been abused by their love ones finds it hard to run and leave - please break free and stop being one of those people

- When they cannot appreciate anything about you, anymore..
talk it out with them. if it dont work, please leave

WHY DO PEOPLE FIND IT HARD TO LET GO?
- like me, HE HAS GIVEN ME COMFORT BEYOND YOUR WILDEST THOUGHTS.
this is why i found it hard to let go at that time. here i am now, assertive and mature enough to say that I HAVE STOP BEING IN love with him.

- you are so used to the past

- you love them tooo much
this is the most cliche

- you lost our virginity to them
this is it, i know of a lot of girls who find it hard to let go cos they lost their V to that boy

HOW TO (TRY) TO LET IT BURN?
i took this from ehow.com - but i kind of find it useless, but maybe it can work on some of you. so im not spoiling that opportunity.

Due to Copyright issues... i cannot copy and paste it here. so i want you all to do is to go to THIS LINKS.
1 - how to get over your ex
2 - how to put the past relationship in the past

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5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LET IT BURN.

please read at this site - CLICK ME

So to sum up everything, i want to end with these words...

"ex flames are like wounds. they leave scars. the healing process is slow, painful and itchy. with time though it will just be a scar; a lasting memory of what cannot be undone, and what used to be. a scar we always choose to hide, and live in shame of once seen. a scar, we wished we never had." - jan rick mascarina

"well, some remains good friends with u , some u really jaz wanna forget" - patricia cahigas

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

In forgetting them...
There are many other places you can get help.There are many other ways you can do it.
But nothing can be done without you wanting it... - mary jean bautista...